SHOWER YOUR VET WITH MONEY MONTH

Our Poms: Jilli on the right. Zoe on the left. 12 pounds and 5 pounds respectively.

They're sitting inside the fifth wheel looking at who knows what.

Love them to death. Like one of the family. Actually, better than one of the family. Unconditional love and devotion from a dog? There's nothing like it.

In the last two weeks I've either paid the rent on the vet's office or someones salary. It's been expensive keeping both dogs healthy.

#1 Zoe eats something terrible outside and becomes deathly ill. Visit to our neighbor hood vet: $250.

#2 Zoe again eats something from outside the house. This time she's consumed a piece of Jilli's poo (dogs do what dogs are going to do). Inside the piece of poo is a delicacy: A small bit of a puppy chew not digested . . . something Zoe is not allowed to have.

Unknown to the two of us there's a piece of puppy chew which has become lodged in Zoe's mouth or throat. Zoe is royally stressed. She wants whatever is stuck out of there. Neither of us can see or find what she's choking on.

We rush to the vet, passing other cars on the right and running stoplights (I pretend I'm one of the Dukes of Hazard driving the General Lee and Boss Hog is chasing me. This makes it more fun).

Zoe is anesthetized, the piece of puppy chew removed. The wallet is another $250 lighter.

#3 Yesterday. Annual teeth cleaning. Yes, small dogs should especially have their teeth cleaned if you wish them to (a) keep all of their teeth and (b) extend their life span.

You'd think the family has had enough contact with our vet to last for the rest of the year.

I get roped into taking the dogs to have their teeth cleaned. Normally the wife does this chore. But has a breakfast date with the daughter-in-law and says it's high time I take a turn dropping the girls off at the vets.

The dogs hate being "abandoned" to both the vet and to the groomer. They both shiver and shake when I pull into either one of these parking lots. They know well what's in store. I hate that.

There's a ton of paperwork for me to fill out once I get into the vet's office. It's that liability crap in case one of the dogs does not make it. There's a box to check - a yes or a no on whether I want an $80 blood test for each dog prior to putting them to sleep. Apparently this is to check their vitals in order to predict how well they'll do with a general anesthetic.

80 bucks? I think they're both in fine shape. Zoe just had a blood test and Jilli is strong as an ox. Why spend $160 for nothing? I check the no box for the blood tests.

I sign the life of my dogs away. It doesn't feel good at all.

Pick them up at 2, I'm told by the receptionist.

The wife and I do morning chores around the house. It's abnormally quiet without the dogs. About 10:3o the phone rings. Caller ID tells me it's our vet who is calling. Oh no, there's problems.

The wife takes the phone for what turns out to be a 15 minute discussion. On her end of the conversation I hear only, "Yes, okay, Uh huh, I understand, Hmmmm".

Zoe's not the healthiest of dogs. At the age of two she was rescued from a puppy mill . Zoe was neglected and mistreated . . . abused. She's lost all but 9 of her teeth because of the lack of attention to her health by the puppy mill owners. Shame on them.

I'm thinking the call from the vet is about Zoe. Who else but Zoe?

The wife gets off of the phone. It's about Jilli. My heart sinks. She has issues. She has a bladder infection and maybe the onset of kidney disease. Jilli is not going to have her teeth cleaned for there now is some risk if she's anesthetized.

Jilli had been given a blood test. That's strange. I checked no blood test for both dogs.

In my rush to get out of the vet's office I checked no for Zoe's test and a yes for Jilli to have blood drawn. What a stoke of fate or of luck that this box was checked yes. Jilli's condition might have gone otherwise unnoticed until it was too late.

I'm devastated. My best friend may have life threatening problems. The best dog there ever was.

To gain more information on the condition of her kidneys a urine sample from Jilli was taken right before she came home.

The wife and granddaughter pick up the dogs. As they leave with them one of the assistants blurts out, "Did you know that Zoe has lost 18 teeth?" Like we didn't know?

The bill for vet visit number 3 I'll gladly pay . . . whatever it is. There's no price on my best friend's life.

In the meanwhile, we wait to for the lab report on Jilli's urine. We pray for the best. We will not expect the worse.