Friday, July 11, 2008


Here's the x-ray of the dime in Gracie's esophagus. She's only five so if the dime looks larger than a quarter to you bear in mind how old this little girl is. She's tiny.

So yesterday we're sitting around waiting for the carpets to dry. They were cleaned earlier and we were limited to the tiled areas in the house (family room/kitchen).

Grace: Grammy, come right now. I think I've pooped the dime out. I think it's out of my body!

Wife after checking the can: Do you know where there's a knife I can use to cut up what's in the can?

Me: You're kidding. You're gonna use a knife we use for cooking to cut up poop? No way. Use one of your gardening knives. Geeze, what next in this family?

Wife gets the knife. Both the wife and Gracie come out to show me they have "gloved up" and are armed for this surgical/scientific procedure. They're smiling. They're happy. I don't get how two people can be so worked up over carving up poop but they are.

I hear happy chatter in the bathroom. After a lot of slicing and dicing of what's in the toilet bowl I hear "WE GOT IT!"

The wife is careful to take the dime and sterilize it. It's discolored for obvious reasons. What used to be a shiny new dime is now a very dull gray.

I decide to place the dime in a necklace setting. If this family is going to be crazy over a pooped dime I might as well join in. A bezel sterling silver plated setting is found and purchased on E-Bay. It's inexpensive but will do the job.

What tales this kid will have when she gets older. She'll never forget her grandmother and how adventurous and fun she was. Cutting up poop with your granddaughter speaks volumes about the wife. She's the daughter of a timber baron and it shows: She can be rough and tumble and has no problem with cutting up poop.

I want to be there when Grace shares her dime necklace with her first grade class. It should really be something to watch the teacher's reaction when she hears this story.

Grace has a problem with telling tales. I usually ask, "Is this a real story or a pretend story?" Nine times out of ten what sounds like a tall tale is.

For the record: This is a real story.

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Boo(duh) said...

This is great. Makes me wish one of my kids would tell me when they've swallowed a coin. The things they put in their mouths, no?

Anonymous said...

Glad Gracie survived her ordeal :))If you want to be really classy, have a diamond burnished-set right in Roosevelt's eye!! That will be real BLING!! Let me be the first: HAPPY BIRTHDAY old friend :))))8thggfpeckerwoodusa @ 6:01p.m.

Max said...

Hahaha.. Step-mom's a turd cutter. :P


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Whiskeytown Lake, Very Northern California, United States