JUST LIKE THIS

Around Cow Town it's just like this. It's been just like this for six weeks or for 42 days: Take your pick.

Cow Town residents are advised to limit outdoor activities. Old farts with respiratory issues should not go outside.

Hmm. Old fart. New fart? Is there a difference? Why isn't anyone called a New Fart?

Having all this smoke in the air is old. We're all tired of this. Summer should be a time for hot weather and fun outside. Cow Town usually has lots of that. But this summer has been a time for skies filled with smoke and staying inside.

So much for my crabbing. It's time to party hardy! The wife's flight to Minnesota left at 6:30 a.m. this morning. She'll be back late Thursday. My time "wifeless" will definitely be devoted to:

Building beer can pyramids,

Eating red meat,

Throwing my dirty shorts in the corner,

Cleaning the collection of handguns on the living room carpet,

Disposing of things the wife never wants to part with but in my mind are pure junk which is littering the garage,

Driving the wife's black BMW around Cow Town like a bat out of hell and toss beer cans out the window,

and playing blackjack at the Indian casino into the wee hours of the morning.

And that's a fact, JACK!

Oh yes, on my list of things to do I missed cleaning the house and wiping the beer off of the BMW before the wife arrives home on Thursday. Didn't want the her to know that I had too much fun while she was away.

When the wife gets home it will be, "Ohhh honey, I missed you sooo much. I didn't know what to do with myself."

Wink. Wink.