WHO YOU ARE WRISTBANDS

Last week son Max sent a bunch of stuff for old dad's birthday from Archie McPhee. Inside the box was a catalogue with more stuff, all of it useful.

I found the wristbands Archie was selling of particular use. The Seven Deadly Sins Wristbands: Why not call a spade a space and wear one of these babies? Everyone is wearing a band for some sort of cause these days. You'd fit right in. It could also work as the perfect pickup line if you pick the right band.

Which band suits you? How about one for your boss? The perfect Christmas party gift.

Shake hands with your favorite priest or minister while displaying one of these beauties. That would get their attention, wouldn't it.

Priest: Bob is that really you? I mean is it really you on the wristband?

Me: Yup and proud of it, too.

Priest: Get thee into the Confessional, son.

Me: Got a couple of hours?


Then there's the I love meat wristbands. What meat loving fiend wouldn't want to wear the Carnivore wristband? You'd be the talk of the Outback Steakhouse.

That wristband would go with the tattoo I have on my chest. It reads: Do not resuscitate or use electrical shock. To revive administer one 16 ounce steak and two shots of Tequila.

That should get the old thumper going.