LEARNING TO TRAIN MEN JUST DOESN'T HAPPEN

Did you ever check out how little girls train their pets? Like dogs or cats. Then they work on their friends and train them. Little girls play school together and learn control.

Then they start on the little boys in the neighborhood. It might be a lemonade stand venture. Or it could be something like playing house. You played house, didn't you? All staging grounds for control.

I have a theory - women training men to be what they want their man to be instead of letting the man be what he already is? It all starts at an early age. Control doesn't happen overnight.

Here you see Grace. She's learning how to dangle something in front of an animal and makes the animal do what she wants. Once that happens the dog gets what it wants: The ball.

This sort of behavior Grace is learning will be translated one day to her relationship with men. Dangle something out in front that the men want and when they do what you want . . . they get whatever is dangling out there.

It's almost as if women want to feminize men. Like, don't act like a man, act like a women and be civilized, you clod!. At least that's the messages I've gotten in my life from the women who once dotted the landscape.

Some women "get it" later in later. They figure out that there's no controlling their man. Men are going to do what men are going to do. There's no stopping it.

The wife got that message a long time ago. When she stopped trying to reform Old Bob the wife got happier. I gotta be me. There's no going back to the drawing board for old Bob. The mold is cast.

Why mess with perfection, poetry in motion and a son-of-a-bitch disposition.

Oh, that dangling thing? It still works on me.

So ends my Male Pig message of the day.

Oink!

Next I need to write about how men learn at an early age to control, manipulate, break hearts and how to fart silently in public . . . looking all innocent when others look around to figure out who would have the nerve to do something like that?