I DREAM ABOUT OLD WOMEN

Usually I wake up laughing but early this morning I woke up in a cold sweat yelling "ARRRGUH! ARRRRRRGGAAA!" I was having a sex dream about an old lady. So I pole vaulted out of bed, hit the can and then back to the sack to sleep it off.

Dreaming about "older women" is not all bad, I said to myself as I pulled the covers back over my head. I'm older. Why not dream about older women? And the dream I just had . . . it was about an older woman so somewhere in the back of my subconscious there's something going on with that subject.

And you know, a lot of the older women today really do look mighty fine - and it's not me that's saying it. Women at 60 are proclaiming that their age is now the new 40. Plastic surgery. Exercise. Diet. Etc. That will do it. We're not talking Geritol junkies.

I always thought I'd be forever attracted to young women. And for a long while I was. Then I learned via the school of hard knocks that young women equal high maintenance. No thank you. Been there. Heard the whining and bitching. Young women think that they can change you from who you are into what they think you should be. Ohhh, no you don't. Not going there again.

There's a certain aire about older women. Sophistication. Experience. Even keeled - no every 28 days, shit hits the fan emotions. Older women mean what they say and say what they mean: There's nothing like an honest, upfront woman who knows exactly what she wants and goes for it.

Unlike their younger counterparts, older women have money. . . need I say more, gentlemen?

Sophia Loren at age 73 in this recent photograph.

Morgan Fairchild, a mere child pictured here at age 57. Whatta babe.
Goldie Hawn seen here with her seemingly pregnant long time boyfriend Kurt Russell . . . Goldie's a stone fox at age 62.

Kurt's probably saying here, "I should have had a V-8". . .