The inner voice, after checking my Del Taco receipt for that damn senior discount was saying GO WITH IT BOB, DON'T GO POSTAL BOB - because there it was - - - Yet another Del Taco DAMN senior discount.I dress well, appear to be younger than I am, don't look like I'm in need of saving the 61 cents that was discounted from my bill but still, there it was - ANOTHER DAMN SENIOR DISCOUNT!!!
I should call Del Taco's national headquarters and demand to know how old one has to be to receive that damn senior discount. Maybe they've set the age at 39? That would be the perfect number. 39. Not too old, not too young but just right. Maybe I'm looking 39.
Me: "Hello, may I speak to Mr. Taco."
Operator: "Mr. Taco? This is Del Taco headquarters in Guacamole Texas."
Me: "That's right, I want to speak to Mr. Taco, Mr. Del Taco. Is he in today. I want to speak to him about your damn senior discount."
Operator: "Sir, we offer a senior discount to our senior citizens. If you want information on a damn senior discount you need to check with with one of our departments."
Me: "Just let me talk to someone, preferably Mr. Taco, about your damn senior discount."
Operator: "I'll direct your call to our Geriatric Taco Services department."
Ring, ring. Ring, ring.
Del Taco: "Taco Services, how may I help you?"
Me: "It's about your damn senior discounts. How old do you have to be to get a discount?"
Del Taco: "Well, we offer the senior discount at several levels:
Level One: Cracks on the face, gray hair, slobbers a bit when ordering.
Level Two: Gets around with a walker using one hand on that and the other on a pee bag.
Level Three: Crawls in on all fours saying, "taco, I need a taco . . . please give me a taco."
Me: "What you're saying is that age doesn't figure into deciding who to offer a senior discount to and who you don't."
Del Taco: "That's correct unless you qualify for the damn senior discount at Del Taco."
Me: "Ahhh ha! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! There is such a thing as a DAMN SENIOR DISCOUNT at Del Taco."
Del Taco: "That's right sir. We offer the damn senior discount to wise ass customers just to piss them off. Thank you for calling Del Taco. and have a nice day." Click.
2 comments:
Dad, I've been telling you to go get some laser treatments. You don't have to go Gene Simmons factlift nuts, just some laser work will remove wrinkles and discoloration--and might also remove senior discounts.
Maybe I should change dermatologists. Mine seems to think lasers won't do much for the valleys and cracks. We've talked about facial peals and that's out too. Maybe a good plastic surgeon is called for. . . .
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