Friday, September 18, 2009

Maybe this just isn't me

Last night was the indoctrination night at the Elks Lodge.  The Grand Poo Bah called the day before to warn that the 5:30 dinner was delayed until 6:30 due to special Elk guests from through out the district.

So I head to the Lodge at 6:15.  When I get there the greeter says to hit the bar and that dinner is being delayed until the closed door district meeting is over.  So I buy a margarita, sit and talk to a fellow inductee and then head over to the dining tables at about 6:45.  The table is filled with other indoctinees.  We talk.  We wait.  Seven comes and goes and still no word on when the closed door meeting will be over.

7:20 the group of soused leaders of the lodge emerge.  They're jolly.  They're jerking each other off and playing to the group of inductees.  So we eat.  Fried chicken.  Not bad.  Nice conversation with those at the table.

So we're done.  We're told to go to another room so that we can be told what to expect.  That would be lots of smoke and mirrors and raising hands and putting your left hand on your heart - -- which is located according to the person doing the talking, on the right side of your body.  HUH?  I had to comment on that.  "Where I come from the right hand goes over the heart which is located on the left side of the body."  I'm told to never mind and just do as I'm told.

8:15 we lineup outside the Lodge meeting room.  The gang is still talking behind closed doors.  We wait and wait and wait.  Finally we're told that we should go sit down or head to the bar as this may take a while.

8:45 comes and goes.  I've been a leader most of my life.  I've been president of several service organizations.  Rule of thumb:  Treat your guests and incoming members with the utmost of courtesy.  There's only one opportunity to make that first impression.  At 8:45 I remember an old favorite Bob's rule of "being there":  When you're early you're on time.  When you're on time you're late.  And when you're late you're rude.

That's when I walked out of the Elks Lodge.  I was along with every other inductee was being treated with extreme rudeness.  How much of that was enough?  I had been served up more than enough rudeness for one evening.

The fresh air of the evening told me that I had made the right decision.

So I get home.  Wifey is pissed that I walked out.  She asks, "Why does this always happen to you?  Weird shit like this never happens to anyone else.  It always happens to you."

 Maybe this just isn't me and someone was trying to tell me something.  Ya think?


La Roo said...

I told you Bob, it's the Old Boy Club. You're a young hipster. Really, find a new way of giving back to the community. That might have been the way back in the day, but we have progressed. It or they have become a place to grow into older ways, pick your butt, and drink and occasionally drop a few bucks for charity when their trying to show off.
OK enough ranting, sorry.
From what I know of Bob, this just doesn't seem like him. But what do I know. ;)
You listen to AC/DC for God sake!

Bob said...

I also yell FREE BIRD! at any concert I go to. And yeah, that (Elks Lodge) ain't me, babe.

Max said...

The only reason wifey should be mad at you is because you didn't convince more people to walk out.

So, I was thinking that you could try to start your own club again. Just make sure to write "free meth!" on the posters, and you'll have lots of attendees.

Bob said...

Max: That is such a great idea. . . we could also include that the club dispenses prescription weed. They'd be fighting to be members.

Dawn said...

I see divine intervention working for you. You have been blessed with many things this week... High 5.
Comp - miracles do exist!
Lawnmwr - perfect save
elks - maybe Optimists instead
red dog - love bug
Now I know health reform will pass.

Joker_SATX said...


Tell Wifey that the Joker says that you have an uncanny gift of being able to dodge bullets.

If it were me, my wife would be pissed off that I was coming in at 11pm or later.....

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Whiskeytown Lake, Very Northern California, United States