Is this me?

Last night was indoctrination night at the Elks Lodge. Wifey and I arrived early to meet two friends for drinks (they're also members). After an hour or so of socializing and drinking it was time for the indoctrination dinner. Our friends begged off saying they had things to do and left. Later on in the evening I started feeling that I too should have seized the opportunity to leave sooner and not later.

Anyway, we walked into the dining room and sat at one of four tables reserved for the indoctrinates. There were two couples already seated. We introduced ourselves and sat down.

"Where's your name tags?" someone at the table asked and motioned that he'd get a couple for us.

Me: We don't do name tags.

And we don't When we do I write stupid things on them like Slippery When Wet or John Holmes - King Weenie or maybe Douche of Earl. Name tags are for the other people who can't remember your name.

Then the evening topper was when one of the poo bahs of the lodge and his wife joined us for dinner. I had met with him in August to be interviewed as part of the process to join the lodge. In August there was no interview but a very long conversation that was all about him, the lodge and nothing about me. Nothing. No interest in knowing anything about the person interested in joining the Order of the Elks.

At dinner this old boy was in identical form. He bored to tears the table with stories all about him and the club never once attempting to know anything about the others at the table. Basically we're talking a one way conversation.

Dinner was beef chips over noodles which added yet another special touch to the evening. The meal brought back memories of days in the military where chipped beef on toast was fondly referred to as Shit on a Shingle. And it really was just that.

We had the honor of also sitting through 60 minutes of the same old boy addressing all of the indoctrinees with a speech identical to the one I sat through in August and which I had also heard part of at the dinner table that evening. If nothing else I could pass on the spot a test with questions concerning the history of the Elks Club which could also contain questions about the old boy's life on this earth.

Through out dinner and the indoctrination speech I leaned over to Wifey more than a couple of times and whispered, "This is not me, is it? Let's go. I can't stand this shit. Bring on a root canal. I'll take that over this."

We stuck it out. I figured the cheap drinks and eats would make up in the long run for the torture suffered that evening.

Now, if I can just make it through the initiation process next Thursday night . .. .

The photo: At the lake. Two eagles nests. There's a plastic bag stuck just to the right of the top nest. Looks like a white bird but is not.

There were eagles around the nest that day but never could catch them on the nest. They're beauties.