Saturday, October 11, 2008

GOOD NEWS OR BAD NEWS?




















The every six month visit to dentist Dr. Z came up this week. His hygienist cleans, Dr. Z checks and says "looking good! I get up out of the chair and go home.

As I was about to leave after this visit, Dr Z says, "They'll last you the rest of your life."

Me: Huh?

Dr. Z: Your teeth. Your teeth will last you the rest of your life.

Me: Is that the good news or the bad news? The rest of my life defined could be 12 months or 40 years. So which is it? Are talking long or short hauls here?

Dr. Z with his pearly white smile: Your teeth will last you the rest of your life, Bob. The rest is up to you.

I'm thinking that Doc Z knows something I don't. Does he have a crystal ball? Can Dr. Z see the future? What is it?

So is the new trend . . . your dentist or physician making statements that certain parts of your body will last the rest of your life? Maybe my next visit to the specialists that I see will go like this:

Penis Dr: Bob, that dick of yours will most likely peter out in the next 20 years. No more pole vaulting out bed, Bob!

Butt Dr: Bob, that prostrate is looking mighty fine. It will last you for the rest of your life.

Finger Dr: Bob, you've got to stop flipping people off or you'll lose that finger before you die.

Ear Dr: You still have excellent selective hearing, Bob. What you only want to hear is still working A-OKAY!

Eye Dr: Bob, you've been looking at porno? You've got a twitch that could be associated with that! If you're not careful you'll be cross eyed in the next couple of years.

Hair Dr: You're good, Bob. No need to worry about doing a comb over.

Nose Dr: Bob, you still have a nose for trouble.

Brain Dr: Bob, it's about those Blue Saphire martinis you love so well . . .

Artery Dr: It's about that bowl of ice cream that you have every night . . .

Marriage Dr: Sorry, Bob. It's until death do you part.

Stock Market Dr: You stupe! Why didn't you sell your Ford and GMC stock ages ago!

And so it would go . . . I hate thinking about what the future might bring. Living for now is my thing. To hell with the past. It's too confusing and worry some to think about the future.

I look at it this way . . . any morning that I can pole vault out of bed with a smile on my face and a spring in my step is a good one.

Boing! Boing! Boing!

Happy weekend y'all!

P.S. This post is number 750! How time flies when you're blogging!!!

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2 comments:

Flyinfox_SATX said...

This is why I don't go to Doctors. They have lost their bedside manners.

If my Dentist would have told me that, I would have told him to go fuck himself and thanks for the premonition of doom!

Then I would also thank him for his permmision slip not to have to return to the dentist for the rest of my life....

fucktard!

Bob said...

Fox: If he wasn't such a nice guy and a friend I'd do that. Dr. Z sat on my school board and saved my bacon more than a few times not to mention all of the hikes in pay for me that Dr. Z voted for. . . .

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Whiskeytown Lake, Very Northern California, United States