ANOTHER VISIT WITH DR Z

Got together with Dr. Z yesterday. Me in the chair, Dr. Z poised on his stool, instruments in hand.

I wouldn't call Dr. Z diabolical or would I . . .

Diabolical defined: cunning or ingenuity or wickedness typical of a devil; "devilish schemes".

Dr. Z is not the devil nor does he concoct devilish schemes. But he is ingenious. He really is. Maybe Dr. Z is one part diabolical all due to his ingenuity.

Yesterday's visit focused once again on "the problem" in a single area of my mouth. Dr. Z. pulled out all the stops and got to the, pardon the pun, root of the matter. Without going into a lot of detail, a tooth and an accompanying root have fractured.

Dr. Z: "Ahh ha! Here's the problem."

Me: "You're just discovering there's a problem? The 5 or more visits these past few months were not social calls."

Dr. Z: "Now calm down Old Bob. No need to get touchy here. I've found what's been causing the irritation."

Me: "Too many beers?"

Dr. Z: "No, its not as complicated as too many beers. Plain and simple, the tooth in this area is fractured along with one of its roots."

Me: "Okay, then grab the bottle of Crazy Glue and get that puppy back together again. Let's get this show on the road and be done with it."

Dr. Z: "I wish it was that simple. The tooth has to be removed. There's no saving it. I'm also recommending that the tooth be replaced with an implant. They're on sale this week for only $4,000."

Me: "Holy macaroni and cheese! Losing a tooth and replacing it for 4 thousand bucks!!! Yikes."

Dr. Z: "I won't be doing the implant. We'll leave that to the specialist."

Me: "Oh joy. Do you have any Valium?"

On one hand toothless. On the other hand an implant and a large pile of Ben Franklin's. Which hand do I choose?

Do you know what it means to have a tooth implanted? It's not a process full of fun and games. Some other time I'll give you the skinny on what it means to lose a tooth, gain another.

COOL BOWLING ALLEY!

And to think had I lived in Europe I could have been saving up for my first implant by stashing 9.90 Euros a month into an insurance fund.

Getting a dental implant is going to sting. Paying for it is going to sting even more. I hate spending money on this kind of stuff. It would be better spent on a vacation to some exotic part of the world.

Hmm. Come to think of it, they do discount dental procedures in Thailand. That would be great! Think of it - A vacation and an implant - two for the price of one!

I'll be checking that out. Old Bob is turning DIABOLICAL!