Thursday, May 31, 2007


I have a theory that one can only put so much into their brain. There's room for the right amount of information. Try to cram anything more into it and it's a lesson in futility.

That's why I shun reading directions and road maps. My analog brain in this digital world holds only so much. There need to be room left in it for the important things and not trying to decipher a map or the directions to build or repair something.

I like flying by the seat of my pants - to hell with directions, to hell with road maps. I don't need those stinking things. My analog brain can do it on its own.

You see, way back when Old Bob hit the maternity room floor running, the Good Lord was only issuing analog brains. They're only good for so many mega bites of memory. Overload these old analog brains and everything freezes up - a Fatal Error message is issued on the windows of my eyeballs. Nothing works until I reset the analog brain - a shot of tequila, a beer with and an egg in it. Then it takes a beer bloody Mary to boot the analog system up again. That's how these old brains work.

I save the memory in my brain for all things important, like storing information where I can always buy beer at a discount price. Or who's ahead in the NASCAR Cup points. And maybe even for keeping track of how many times Pamela Anderson has been married. Things like that mean a lot to Old Bob. Saving analog brain space for these things is near and dear to my heart.

Listening to Rush on the radio once was important as part of my plan to keep my analog system healthy. Then Rush did some stupid things, said some stupid things and then checked into rehab. What a wuss. Rehab is for quitters. That's when I stopped listening to Rush.

When I was younger there were many hero's we could hook up to, admire and try to pattern out life after. Who are today's hero's? Are there any? Think about? Who's on your list of hero's. My list is blank. I'm think that there aren't.

Back in the day everyone used to admire every President of the United States. He's lots of things but a hero George Bush is not. I'm thinking George has neither an analog or a digital brain. According to a friend, George Bush has shit for brains. Hmmmm. That explains a lot.

Maybe all of our hero's were issued analog brains that don't cut it in a digital world - and they just faded away or lost all of their ability to function due to a fatal analog error and crashed for good.

Dear Lord: Please stop issuing analog brains. They don't work very well, they're short of memory and they often freeze up. And about issuing shit for brains for our Presidents? That has to stop. Thank you.

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Whiskeytown Lake, Very Northern California, United States