Friday, May 11, 2007


It was before I got smart. People talking about E.D. this, E.D. that. What did I know? One day a good friend said that this E.D. stuff was all about sex.

I concluded that E.D. could only stand for every day. People who had to have sex everyday needed treatment. What else could E.D. possibly be?

So I wondered - what could be so terrible about sex everyday? I asked myself why there was a treatment for such a thing. Heck sex every day . . . whoo hoo! Three, four times a day? That could be a problem.

Sex three or four times a day would get in the way of drinking beer, writing this blog, playing ball with the dog, cleaning my garage and channel surfing. I'd need treatment for that! That would be way too much time on one thing and not enough time for these other things.

When I was told that E.D. didn't stand for Every Day I thought again. Well, the only other possibility was that this thing called E.D. had something to do with an Erector Set that was all screwed up. What else could it be other than Erector set Dysfunction also known as E.D.

A couple of months later I was corrected again. E.D. stands for a man not being able to come to attention and hold being at attention for at least a minute. For at least a minute at attention is man thing.

What does a wife do when E.D. happens? I know what my wife would do. Whenever I'm hurt and I'm talking bleeding like a river hurt, she starts laughing. No matter that I'm about ready to buy the farm, the wife laughs.

During a home improvement project, I got popped on the head. Blood from hell to breakfast. Guess who starts laughing.? I've learned how to tend to my own wounds.

So imagine when erector set dysfunction hits old Bob. The wife will think it's funny as hell and laugh, laugh, laugh. I can hear her now: hahahahahahaha Ha. I know her. She will laugh.

Erector set dysfunction will be the funniest thing she ever saw. Yes, ever saw. They say you have to see Erector set dysfunction to fully appreciate it. Easy for them to say. I for one will not appreciate Erector set dysfunction.

If E.D. ever hits home I wonder if I'll want to take one of those blue Viagra pills. How terrible. To be a man you have to refer to the pill box. That's not me.

I'm old school. I'd use an old fashioned remedy for Erector set dysfunction.

It would have to be Popsicle sticks and rubber bands.

OUCH! Quit your laughing, wife! IT'S NOT FUNNY! STOP IT!!!!

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Whiskeytown Lake, Very Northern California, United States