Saturday, May 19, 2007


My first pair of Levis at age 12 or 13 were a size 29 waist and 30 inches in length. I grew a little and the 29 became 30. 30 X 30 was easy to remember when it came time to replace a pair of Levis.

In those days I could and I did run around the house with my underpants on my head. That doesn't work today.

Somewhere in my life a 30 inch waist grew to 33 inches. Blame it on the Bossa Nova? Go ahead, do that. Frankly, it had to be the beer along with a slower metabolism. The number 33 was with me for a long time.

One day 33 seemed like the wrong number and it was replaced by 34. No big deal. What's one more inch?

And about 5 years ago 34 was just not cutting it. Having to unbutton my pants in order to sit down became a silly ritual. Something had to give.

Here comes the rub. A man can buy pants in a 30 inch waist, a 31, a 32, a 33 and in a 34. Try to find a pair of men's Levis in size 35. No can do, not there on rack, can't even find on the Internet. The same is true with pants made by other companies. Why? Aren't there enough men with 35 inch waists to make it worth the while to manufacture pants in that size waist?

Check it out next time you're shopping. There are NO 35 inch waist men's pants anywhere.

Here I am. Not a 34. Not a 36 but I'm wearing 36 inch pants nonetheless when I should be wearing 35's. I swim in a pair of 36" waist Dockers khaki pants. Two people could fit in them at the same time. When I tighten my belt everything bunches up around the waistline. The wife says that I look like a stoop when I wear the Dockers.

36 inch Levi jeans bring much the same hassle. Too baggy and made for someone who has a much bigger butt than I do. I need to go back being a 34 or better yet get back that 33 inch waist that was lost 15 years ago.

Today, losing weight is in progress. Eating healthier. Eating less. Exercising. I'll be that 33 or 34 inch specimen of a man one day soon.

I pity the poor men who are stuck with a 35 inch waist and can't find the pants to go with number. Don't you think that some men eat more to gain weight so they'll fit into a 36 instead of losing a little bit so that those 34 inch Levis or Dockers wear comfortably (and without unbuttoning them when sitting down)?

We can put a man on the moon but we can't produce pants with a 35 inch waist? Am I missing something here?

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Whiskeytown Lake, Very Northern California, United States