STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES

I ask myself, 'Why do you have all these stupid things that you've collected over the years? What are you going to do with them? When I'm in a better place (heaven would be the Corvette testing facility - that would be going to a better place), what will my relatives do with the things I've collected?'

Take for instance this hat. Love this hat. A gift from son Max. It's Korean. It has special meaning. I wear it around the house. If I had a Corvette I'd drive that puppy with the top down and wear this hat.

Stupid is as stupid does or so they say.

I have neat stuff collected (more like confiscated) during my years in school administration. There's this slick Ninja knive, a pair of handcuffs (taken off of a first grade kid), a fake gun, several small knives, fart spray, string spray, firecrackers, flying pigs, a "Rush is Right!" coffee mug (was Rush ever right?) - . . so the list goes on.

Then there are the things I've collected. 12 Looney Toon coffee mugs, a remote controlled fart machine (good for placing in a bathroom, waiting until someone is there and locks the door and let it rip), the Helmet Man helmet, Mr. Clown Head, Bevis and Butthead figurines that talk, a pile of stuff collected on e-Bay relating to my home town, copper banks, Billy Bob teeth, a boob shaped pacifier (courtesy of my former first grade teaching staff), a Whoopie cushion (also a "gift" from the same teachers), gold medalions from a casino that I won a long time ago . . . the list could go on and on. I have a bunch of stuff.

I collect neat stuff that only old Bob and 12 year old kids like.

Stupid is as stupid does.

I feel somewhat obligated to do something with this collection of mine. It's understandable why our past Presidents build a library to store all of their papers collected while in office. They probably stored a lot of good stuff there, too.

Do you think President Nixon had a whoopie cushion or if Bill Clinton had a fart machine? If they did you can bet it's on display in their library.

Maybe that's what I should get - my own library. People would flock to the library to see my Bevis and Butthead talking machine. Or maybe it would be to check out my collection of knives, handcuffs and fart sprays.

I can't bear to throw or give anything away that's valuable. Building my own library would solve that problem.

Stupid is as Stupid Does. That would go over the front door of the library.

That fits.