BACK WITH THE LIVING

January 1st through the 5th was mostly spent in bed. No, this was not a John Lennon/Yoko Ono love in (remember when these two spent a month in bed in the name of peace?).

This was a knock you down, kick your ass, make you cry Uncle! flu.

You do not, I repeat, you do not want to get this stuff. Honestly, I thought I'd bought the farm. It was that bad.

My first day up and out was Saturday. It was like someone hit the switch and the flu was done, over, gone, kaput, finished, out of sight, nada . . .

To celebrate and to show that I have an iron tummy, I hit Jack in the Box at 9 in the morning for a Jumbo Jack and diet soda. Felt good and I kept it all down!

Candace called during her daily shopping spree and asked if I wanted anything. Yes, I said. Make it a KFC breast/wing meal with sides of cole slaw and mashed potatoes.

At 2:30 in the afternoon, while enjoying the Colts kick Kansas City's butt in playoff football, I feasted on my KFC meal.

Candace didn't feel well for dinner and passed on eating anything. So, called Round Table and asked them to deliver one of their Artisan pizzas.

At 7:00 p.m. I sat down to consume part of the best pizza in the whole world and watch the best football game I've seen in years: Dallas vs. the Seahawks. Whatta game. Whatta pizza.

I can't believe that I ate like that yesterday after not eating for nearly a week. I guess if the flu didn't kill me off all of the fast food consumed yesterday was no big deal.

Fast food restaurants should give out coupons that are redeemable for a heart by-pass procedure. That's the least that they could do for their customers.

We're off this morning to shop for sinks for our guest bathroom and new faucets for them. Remodeling of the most of the house should begin this month so these things need to be bought before that begins.

The picture? That's Helmet Man. When I become Helmet Man I put on this hat, put in the Billy Bob teeth, flick the switch on top and the red beacon comes on and starts spinning. A beep, beep sound goes with the spinning beacon.

I've had the helmet for years. When I wear it people either say, "Neat! Where did you get that?" Or they get a look on their face that can only mean that they're thinking, "Who the hell is that nut?".

When Grace hurts herself I become Helmet Man to help her stop crying. She usually laughs, the tears stop and Grace says, "Papa, you're soooo silly!". Grace has my number.

Grace also knows Mr. Clown Head. Mr. Clown Head does all kinds of silly things that makes Grace laugh. But that's another entry in this blog some other time.

Geeze, it feels great to be back with the living. It's no fun being sick.

Where was Helmet Man when I needed him?