ONCE A CHEESEHEAD ALWAYS A HEAD WITH CHEESE ON IT

There's a business in Cow Town that gives out awards to their employees for doing great stuff. When you do great stuff you get recognized.

For anyone lucky enough to get this award you get to wear a Cheesehead hat at work for a month. I wanna get a job in that place. This is totally cool.

If I got that award, I'd be wearing the Cheesehead to bed, to church, to confession (I'd probably have to say 10 Our Fathers and 6 Hail Marys for wearing a Cheesehead to church) and a lot of other places.

I've been given the Shithead Award. There wasn't anything to wear on my head when I got this award. I wish they would have given me a shithead hat.

Sometimes I'm a dumbshit. There's no award for that.

I don't think I can ever be what it takes to be a Cheesehead and get that award unless I move to Green Bay Wisconsin, home of the Packers and home of the Cheeseheads.

You can wear a Cheesehead in Green Bay without being a super cool rat fink employee where you work. In Green Bay you can drink beer on the job (they do that in Wisconsin), wear your Cheesehead hat to work, get a paycheck and life would be as good as it could get.

I could move to Green Bay. I would be a Cheesehead if I moved to Green Bay, sit in zero temperatures, watch the Packers play what used to be called Vince Lombardi football (now it's called something else but I can't say what it is here) and wear the Cheesehead hat. Life in Greenbay Wisconsin is very appealing, especially the part about being able to drink beer while you work.

I could easily trade living in Cow Town for a life in Cheesehead Village.

Now if I can just convince the wife . . .