THEY DON'T MAKE 'EM LIKE THEY USED TO

They don't make 'em like they used to. We could say that about a lot of things today. Old Bob could sit in his rocker and say, "Back in the last century they used to . . . "

Cars built today have more plastic than metal. Way back in the day cars had more wood than metal. Most women used to have more real body parts back in the day and less silicone. Erector sets back in the day were made of metal. Today's erector sets come in a bottle labeled Viagra.

Back in the day we didn't worry about what we ate. It was a good thing to get the piece of steak with the most fat. Eating fat that had been burned on the barbeque was a good thing. When I was 12 years old this was yummy. Today it's disgusting and not cool to suck on the fat that's on the end of a steak.

And they don't make films like they used to. Can you honestly say that you've seen a film lately that was actually any good? Or how about this? Have you seen 6 films in the last two years that were as good as any film made in the 50's, 60's or 70's?

Back in the day films were scored . . . they had their very own sound track written for the film. This took time, creativity and money. Today's film scores are primarily songs taken from the top 10 hit list. Not creative and very cheap.

I could talk about plots in today's films. What plots? There are none. Only war films should be allowed to have no plots. Like in a good war film we kill them. They kill us. We kill more of them then they kill of us. We win the war. Simple.

You couldn't do a film on the war in Iraq. Whoever it is that we're fighting? They fight dirty. In a war film guys have to be sly as a fox but there can't be any dirty fighting. Maybe there can be dirty dancing when the guys are not fighting but no dirty fighting. Dirty dancing would be good in a war movie and not get in the way of not having a plot.

Cowboy movies today suck. Breakback Mountain was called a western film. Lots of people liked it. Who are those people who like films like that? Those are not my people. There's a poor excuse for a western film. Yes, there's dirty dancing but it's the wrong kind of dirty dancing.

A film like Big Country is my idea of a real western film and as good as they get. It has a sound track written for it. Wow, is it ever a great sound track. Great actors/famous actors. Cowboy gets girl. Cowboy decides this girl is really psycho chick and decides that this is not the girl. Cowboy fights guy who said bad things. Cowboy kicks major butt. Cowboy finds another girl. The cowboys never kiss the girls, drink or cuss. Two guys get shot. One dance with the girls party. The perfect western movie.

Check out the horse Charlton Heston rides in one of the last scenes in the film - the scene where the gang of cowboys ride with the Major into Blanco Canyon. What a horse. I want that horse. They don't make horses like that any more.

If you have never seen Big Country tonight is the night. And in your dreams tonight you'll be galloping across the prairie on Heston's fantastic looking horse accompanied by the sound track you heard in this film. It's that kind of movie.

Cowboy up buckaroos and head on down to the video store and grab the video Big Country.

It's Saturday night and bath night in Cow Town. Rub-a-dub-dub Old Bob! There's gonna be squeaky clean old Bob and a hot time on the old TV tonight. For the 27th time I'm gonna watch Big Country. Yee haaaawww!