The Wedding

There have been many suggestions to tell the Bob and Wifey wedding story.  After much consideration in regards to our privacy we've decided to tell our story.

It was a warm spring day when Wifey and Bob decided to tie the knot.  Everything was in bloom including their love for one another.   The wedding was planned, guests invited, catering arranged for, the honeymoon in place.

Being the age that Bob and Wifey were, they were not old enough to apply for even a learner's permit to drive a car.  So just before the wedding was to begin, the two gathered all of their friends at the old oak tree in the park and together the entourage of fifty rode their bikes, single file, bells ringing, bicycle horns tooting, to the church.  It was a wonderful ride.  Everyone smiling.  A couple of guys doing bike wheelies for most of the way.  The day was meant for a wedding.

The church Bob and Wifey selected had a big sign out front.  It read: 

Church of the Too Young and Too Old to Cut the Mustard

Rev. Archibald Doohickie, Minister

Cheap Weddings:  $10.99 Special, $16.65 Hum Dinger, $21.00 Dog Patch Special and $60.00 What the Hell Was That?! Deluxe Service

We Marry Cousins, Sister and Brothers Underage, Overage but we don't do Father/Daughter, Father/Son, Mother/Son, Mother/Daughter weddings and do over marriages.

It was a quick Doohickie ceremony that was over as quickly as it started.  After the "I do's and I'll will as soon as I can's" Wifey and Bob started to walk back down the aisle and out of the church.  The guys had brought their BB guns to the wedding and held them up and across the aisle just like they do in the military with swords.  You get the picture.  It was enough to make the Pope cry.

Outside the church everyone threw pieces of bubble gum at Bob and Wifey.  The guys with the BB guns shot off a 21 BB gun salute. Wifey threw the bouquet that her best girl friend Penny Rich had created for her.  Doodlebug O'Brien caught the bouquet and signed knowing that indeed she was the next to be married.  What we didn't know until a couple of days later that Penny had gone into the meadow next to the grade school and picked a lot of stuff growing there for the bouquet.  She included some poison oak along with the wild flowers that made up this arrangement.  Doodlebug slept with the bouquet under her pillow that night.  Need I say more?  We changed Doodlebug's nickname to Itchy Scratchy.

Our reception took place at the A&W root beer stand.  Back then they sold Papa, Mama and Baby burgers.  Everyone only had enough money in their pockets to buy a fifty cent Baby Burger and a twenty-five cent Baby mug of root beer.  Bob's best friend Squid made a toast to the newly wedded couple.  Everyone clinked their mugs together and chugged a frosty baby mug of root beer.  The all of us guy had a burping contest.  Bob won hands down for the loudest burp.  Fatso McDuncan won for most burps in a minute.  The girls didn't burp.  They watched and kept saying, Ewww, gross, Ewwww, gross!

After the reception it was time for Bob and Wifey to go home.  He had a curfew as did Wifey.  About 10 that night both Wifey and Bob snuck out of their bedrooms through open windows and met in the park.  They played doctor for an hour and then went back to their parent's homes.  It was a short but a nice honeymoon.  A perfect way to begin a life together.

And now you know the rest of the story....

Good day.....