Horny Sunday Dinner

Now you're curious, right?  A horny dinner for Bob on Sunday?  More or less.  It was dinner at the Elks Lodge last night.  The Lodge has lots of horny creatures hanging from its walls.  It was kind of like a horny dinner.

Last night was a special occasion.  Wifey belongs to an Elks auxillary organization, The Emblem Club.  It was their 30th anniverary.  Wifey helped to set up tables for dinner.  Dawn, also a member of the Club,  was asked to be the official photographer for the evening and take both formal and informal photos.  There were speeches.  There were lots of fancied up ladies both old, inbetween old and young. 

There was either steak or chicken for dinner.  But before that there were drinks.  Everyone was sucking them up and getting tuned up which it seems like something that the Elks do so perfectly. 

A jazz band played throughout the evening.  I guessed correctly every song that they played revealing one of two things:

#1  Bob's an old fart and that was the music of his era.  Or,

#2  Bob knows his music.

Well,number one is kind of correct.  But number two is spot on.  I know a lot about most any kind of music except Rap Crap and Hip Hop.  That music doesn't float my boat.  Anything else just ask me and I'll tell you about it.

There were two other couples at our table along with a close friend who is also a member of the Emblem Club.   At one point I said that I'd dance with Wifey if any of the other couples at table danced with us.  No takers.  Ha!  Bob got out of another thing he doesn't really like to do.   Just ask another couple to dance along with Wifey and I . . . and BINGO!  No takers.  So we don't dance.

There's a very large swimming pool outside the dining hall.  Double glass doors open onto the pool and its patio.   Just before leaving I wanted to do something special.

Me to everyone at our table:  Ever see the movie Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid?

Everyone:  Yup.

Me:  Remember the scene where Butch and Sundance were close to getting caught by the guys in white hats?  They had to jump off a cliff into a river to get away from them.  Since Sundance couldn't swim Butch took him by the hand. . . they both started running towards the edge of the cliff shouting Ahh  Ahhhhh Ahhhhhhhhhh Ahhhhhhhh! And over the cliff into the river they went.

Me:  So, anyone want to do a Butch and Sundance deal?  Let's hold hands, start yelling Ahhhh AHHHH AHHHHHHHHHH! Run out the door and  jump into the pool.   It's raining like hell.  We'll get wet anyway just walking to our cars.  What's a little more water?  Let's do it!

Well shit.  Just like always when I get these extra special super dooper deluxe ideas.    No takers.  Just looks that say, "What is this guy, nuts?"  And I was bone dead serious about jumping into the pool.  It was likely that had I jumped into the pool that I'd be banned from the Lodge forever and a day but I figured that if that was the price to pay for having a little fun then it would be worth it.  Butch and Sundance jumping into a Lodge swimming pool at the end of a very serious Lodge festivity would definitely be a topic conversation for years to come.   "Remember when those two jumped into the pool?  Wasn't that the damnest thing you ever did see?"  Yo.

I'll file this idea away.  Maybe someday there will be one person who will want to play Sundance and Butch at the Elks Lodge.  Kerrrrrr splash!