Sunday, March 22, 2009

PORN ON SATELLITE





















Since 1991 there's always been a satellite dish alongside or on the house. Four houses ago we started out with one of those humongous dishes in the backyard. Once we moved to Cowtown it was easier to have a smaller dish installed on the roof.

I watch everything on satellite except porno. Porno just doesn't float my boat. It boils down to this: See one porno film you've seen them all.

As I surfed the satellite channels this week I unintentionally came upon the series of DirectTV channels that carry their line of adult films. The title of one film caught my eye and I thought what the hell is this? So I opened the channel guide to see what it was all about.

MEAT GULPERS 2: Gorgeous women have flexible mouths that love to be filled.

Oh brother. How utterly stupid. I scrolled to the next channel and read the description of the film there:

BOUNCING BOOTY FEST 5: Well-endowed women snap their bras from the jiggling of their bouncing breasts.

That kind of sounded interested but not enough to pony up the pay-per-view fee DirectTV required to watch this film.

There was one more that caught my eye.

BLACK GUYS ON LATIN THIGHS: Fresh curvy Latinas eagerly ride on huge black poles.

Who thinks of these titles anyway? You'd think they'd hire someone with half a brain to come up with more intelligent titles and film descriptions. Then again, porno usually appeals to men with half a brain.

Suddenly, the "why" of porno all makes sense.

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3 comments:

Jes said...

I was hoping you'd offer your ideas for titles!

La Roo said...

That would be in the butt Bob? Good Huh?
I like watching porn every now and then.

flyinfox-satx said...

That is why if you are going to troll for porn, you need to turn around and look for the obscure....

Keep an eye on your personal email for a demented gift from me....you will see what I mean.

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Whiskeytown Lake, Very Northern California, United States