Wednesday, May 14, 2008

HOW TO GET THE ATTENTION OF ANIMAL CONTROL

First, lest we get confused, this is Zinnia or Zeenee, the newest addition to Bob's family. She's smart. She's a puppy. She's all over the board.

You've seen dogs that run around with their butt lowered and run and run and run. That's our Zeenee. Like our long lost girl Jilli, rest her soul, Zeenee has spunk, attitude and the mind to be a champion.

Okay, the dogs in the stock trailer. Another call to Animal Control today:

New guy.

Me: I'm in the computer. You don't need the information again just take it from the computer.

He: I need it to write the complaint.

Me: Can't you just take it from the computer? I've made four calls and they're all on the the computer.

He: No, I need it again so I can write the complaint.

Me: Okay. Here it is again. By the way, is it true that you guys only come this way once a month?

He: Yup.

Me: I hope these poor dogs last until then.

While I was talking to Animal Regulation on the telephone I noticed a dog come across the way from another part of the six duplex unit where I'm living. The dog is new to our complex as is his owner.

The dog pisses on my truck wheels tires. Dogs pissing on my wheels and tires is what fights are made of.

Bingo, brainstorm. It hits me with an idea. How to get Animal Control to come out sooner rather than later.

I walk over to where this dog lives and knock on the door. A man in wheelchair answers it.

Me: Your dog just pissed on my wheels and tires. That's not gonna cut it around here.

Guy: Big deal, so what?

Me: Well, here's so what - next time your dog pisses on my wheels I'm gonna shoot him.

Door slams.

Since he's in a wheelchair, I know this guy is not going to come out and kick my butt for threatening to shoot his dog. But you ou can bet he'll call Animal Regulation who is going to come out to the Valley sooner and not 30 days later, find my ass, chew it out, makes threats, and try to make me look like a sorry son of a bitch for threatening to shoot a dog who pisses on my wheels.

Unless the guy in a wheelchair has a high powered rifle with a scope, I think I'm home free.

You can bet that when Animal Regulation shows up I will make certain that they take a look at the three dogs who are stored for 12-14 hours a day in a steel covered stock trailer in the hot sun. And they're going to do something about it. If they don't so something about those dogs then I'll keep threatening to shoot that damn dog who pisses on my tires.

It's going to hit close to a 100 in the Valley soon. Time to get those dogs out of there.

With Bob, there's always a method to his madness.

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4 comments:

Flyinfox_SATX said...

Bob, you are always the creatively destructive humanitarian! I would have placed a separate battery underneath the truck. I would have placed contacts from the rims to the battery. I am sure there are plenty of metals in the water that is drunk out there. Next time the Dog takes a leak? Bamm! Instant electric shock!

I want a quarter for every time this idea of mine works.

Flyinfox_SATX

Bob said...

Fox: Thank you for recognizing true talent and gifted ability. I look forward to mailing you a quarter for every dog gonad that I fry. Make sure you take out a patent on this thing.

Blither said...

This is so sickening. How stupid can people be? Why does someone have 3 dogs to lock them up all day in a freaking trailer?

Good for you Bob for helping out the helpless. Even if you have to threaten a crippled mans dog :) LOL!

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, hope your neighbor doesn't have a Hover-round,,,those babies can make short order of sharp turns. :)) Get yourself a bottle of Parson's Ammonia, and pour around the area where you park.. animals can't stand the smell of it..or moth balls (course those can be a challenge to collect!!!) :))) oxoxofrom-you-know-who:8thggf@ 5:40a.m.

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Whiskeytown Lake, Very Northern California, United States