Friday, November 09, 2007


Real deal.

I got a call today from someone whose name is Dee Funk.

It was time to step over the line. There was fun to be had with someone with a name like that. Like no one ever did that before.

It was Friday. What the hell. I was stupid on the phone with Ms. Dee Funk. But whatta great name.

Hello. I'm from Consumer Reports and my name is Dee Funk.

Hello. I'm with the the Democrats to Elect Douche Bag for President (also known as Hillary) campaign and my name is Dee Funk.

I want that name.

I fired two people today. Through both processes that I sat through the saying, "You are what you eat". kept running through my brain. If I stopped eating bagels would I be a kinder, gentler boss man?

Or if I ate more red meat. If it is true you are what you eat I'd not wanna be a cow headed for slaughter.


I love my dog. It's Jilli. Next to Candace and Grace, Jilli is the love of my life. Loving a dog that much? How stupid is that. Unless you've loved a dog there's no appreciation for such a statement.

I sleep with my tongue hanging out. I learned that from Jilli. It's a Zen thing.

Try it. You'll sleep a lot better.
Well hell. It's Friday. I want to sleep throught the night. A little Blue Saphire. A little red meat. Garlic bread.

If I am what I eat, bring it on.

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evalinn said...

Not convinced about the tounge thing...

Max said...

Eh? Two people you canned used the same nonsensical personal attack, "you are what you eat"? I can't imagine how that fit into the conversation. I think the second time I would have burst into song, ala Frank Zappa;

Do you know what you are?
You are what you is
You is what you am
(A cow don't make ham...)
You ain't what you're not
So see what you got
You are what you is
An' that's all it 'tis

Bob said...

Max: I have no idea of what you're talking about.

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