TACOS WHISPER TO ME






















I don't eat tacos often. They bother me. Tacos whisper to me while I eat. And I whisper back.

I am the Taco Whisperer.......

Some people hear voices. I hear tacos whisper. It makes for bad indigestion.

I had tacos for lunch yesterday. Lunch was in a nice little Mexican place, quiet, not too many people around my table. It was the kind of day that there was no way my tacos were going to whisper weird things to me. Little did I know that I should have ordered enchiladas instead of tacos.

Tacos: "Hi Bob! How are things going today?"

I looked around to make sure no one could hear me and my tacos talking to each other. Like, do you know of anyone who talks to their tacos? You'd think they were nuts, right? I thought so.

Me: "I"m not listening to you and I'm not buying the crap you're going to whisper. Leave me alone and let me eat in peace!"

Tacos: "But Bob, we have news for you."

Me: "Don't wanna hear it. The only news you have for me is 'Oh Bob, please don't eat us!' "

Tacos: "You're going back to work, Bob. We just know it. By July you'll be working. You'll be getting up early, eating like a fool, putting on pounds from all of the stress, waking up at all hours of the night worrying, working 12 hour days, getting more grey hair and losing most of it while you work! You'll love going back to work, Bob."

Me: "Yeah right, I'm not going back to work again. Work is too hard. Yes, I would have to get up early again and I don't want to do that. No way. No working for me ever again."

Tacos: "Oh, yes you are, Bob. Like it or not, you're going back to work. We'll see to it. We know tacos in high places."

Me: "Well hell, I'll put an end to this whisper crap. I'll eat you and that will be the end of my going back to work!"

Munch! Crunch!

Tacos: "We'll be baaaaaack . . . "

I never listen to what tacos have to say. Sometimes they're right. Sometimes they're wrong. Right or wrong, wonder what it will be this time? Maybe I should check into Rehab over this taco thing and kick the taco habit. Better yet, I need a 12 step program!

Tacos Anonymous, let me in!