Wednesday, April 15, 2009

DOWN AT THE CAR WASH

I've always been one for doing it my way. Ask anyone. Last job I held one of the farewell gifts was a cup with the inscription: Of Course I'm Right - - I'm Bob!

This is my car wash where I take the truck a couple of times a month. There's no time for me to wash the truck. I have better things to do like write stupid things on this blog.

By the sign you can tell there are a lot of things to remember. Old people with no memory will never survive a trip through the car wash.

What the sign doesn't say is what to do when you see mid-car wash that there's still a lot of grime on your truck or car.

Here's what I do. When those brushes are a scrub-scrub-scrubbing I put on the brake in violation of rule #2. The truck stops on the tracks. There's a lot of noise cause the tracks are running under the tires but the truck with me on the brake is standing still. And the brushes keep scrub-scrub-scrubbing, I am smiling ear to ear and the truck gets squeaky clean.

If this doesn't work, I take it out of neutral in violation of rule #1, put the truck in drive, put my hands on the steering wheel in violation of rule #4 and drift off the car wash tracks. There I sit in the middle of the car wash, brushes scrub-scrub-scrubbing and the truck being cleaned like it's never been cleaned before. Getting back on the tracks takes a lot of Bob skill but it can be done.

Do I have to say this pisses the car wash people off royally? Yup. And there are the threats that I'll be banned and they'll call their lawyers and that I have screwed up the the car wash machinery and I'll lose everything. They yell at me. Say I'm wrong. I say HEY! At least I put my antenna down, didn't I?!! Then I hold up my coffee cup so the car wash dudes can see that it reads, "Of course I'm right, I'M BOB!" and yell, SO THERE! And I'd use that argument in court. Yes, I would.

And then I drive off with a damn clean truck.

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5 comments:

evalinn said...

U make me laugh! If I ever buy a car again, I think u should take it to the wash for me! :-D

Bob said...

Evalinn: Heck, I'd fly your way to see that your car is washed right. Anytime, Evalinn.

evalinn said...

Bob, I´m so glad to hear that! :-D

Max Watson said...

I hate to say it Dad, but this kind of ornery behavior is sign that you're either 1) a teenager or 2) a senior!

Bob said...

Max: It's complete immaturity. Always been that way. From my teen years until her dying day mom would yell, BOB, GROW UP!

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Whiskeytown Lake, Very Northern California, United States