FRENCH KISS CALIFORNIA

Last night Wifey and I had dinner in an old California mining town. It's a scenic 20 minute drive from the house which, given the time of day, made for an enjoyable drive.

French Kiss earned its name by a ritual the miners participated in whenever anyone found gold. They'd all join hands, dance around in a circle and then French kiss the person on either side of them.

Even though the yield is small gold continues to be mined in French Kiss.

The photo shows where we dined last night. The ownership recently changed. We thought given the amount of time that had passed since the change that it would be a good time to check out what they had to offer.

When we were seated Wifey and I were the only patrons: This was a real ghost town experience.

Then:

20 minutes from the time seated until we were asked if we wanted a beverage.

Another 10 minutes before the beverage was served. Then our order was taken. I have a beer and Wifey has tea. She lamented that there was no sugar or sweeteners on the table.

We order prime rib which is their Saturday night special and told there was no prime rib available that night. So we ordered another Saturday night special: Roast beef, baked potato and veggies.

After more delay of about 15 minutes the salads arrive. The waitress asks if we want rolls with dinner or with the salad. We ask for them to be served with the salad.

Ten minutes later a basket of rolls appeared just in time for the salad dishes to be taken away. I take a roll, open the butter and look for a bread plate to put the roll on. There's no sign of a plate to put them on. By now there are about 6 other patrons in the restaurant. We conclude that even in small numbers the waitress is not capable of multi-tasking multiple orders.

About 20 minutes later a teenage girl with two plates in her hand looked around and tried to figure out who to serve them to. Wifey gives the girl the high sign and says the plates of roast beef must be ours.

We look for the baked potato as advertised on the special board but find that we've been served mashed potatoes. We over hear the waitress telling other customers there are no baked potatoes that night even though the posted special says so and even though someone had written that special for Saturday night sometime that day. You'd think they would have changed up on their sign. My veggies were somewhat cold so they must have hit the steamer frozen and not allowed time to thaw out. At least they were crunchy. The portion of roast beef on both of our plates was something you'd find in a truck stop: Lots of it covered in gravy.

With the number of customers we wonder why it took so long for our order to be served. Our guess was that the new owners were rookies at this and couldn't deliver the goods in any reasonable time.

We were struck that the new male owners (one of them works as chef) flitted in and out of the dining room but never approached any of their customers with a Hi, how are you, how's the dinner, thanks for coming here kind of chat. Since owning a restaurant means being hospitable you'd think they'd be more friendly.

We finish our meal and wait for the check. And we wait. And we wait. Finally I approach the bar where the waitress was and asked for the check. She acted like I had just approached her for a sexual favor.

I shake her attitude off, pay and we leave.

Never to return to French Kiss for dinner.

I give 'em a year.