THURSDAY THIRTEEN

1) Life on earth will cease when pizza with pepperoni, tomatoes and anchovies becomes extinct.

2) Old men usually drive the best and the fastest cars thereby proving that those who die with the most toys wins.

3) Women who show major cleavage can't figure out why men won't their eyes off of their chest.

4) Which sex is the best at multi-tasking at 70 mph on the freeway? That would be applying makeup, drinking coffee, buttering toast, cleaning ears with a Q-Tip, making a shopping list for dinner all the while holding one hand to the ear for a cell phone conversation.

5) There's always a ringing sound in both of my ears. What I wouldn't give for a true moment of silence.

6) Other people's nose hairs freak me out.

7) Hair in my food makes me go berserk.

8) I really do dream about prunes.

10) I am a cereal killer. It's pure joy to take a butcher knife to a box of corn flakes.

11) Sometimes I feel like a nut, sometimes I don't.

12) It's great knowing that very few people know what LSMFT means.

13) I hate the number 13. I shy away from all numbers odd.