Saturday, July 14, 2007

I'M GETTING IMPLANTS

Well heck, it's not these puppies I'll be getting. Bob as a Tranny? I don't think so. Not now. Not ever.

Talk implants to most anyone and their immediate thoughts are of the chest and not about teeth.

Two dental implants are nearly expensive as two booby implants. My little sojourn to the dentist is going to run close to 6k for two implants. Like booby implants, there's never a two for one sale.

I checked into getting implants in a foreign country. For example Thailand has more than few dental clinics that cater to "tourists" looking for a deal. Two implants in Bangkok run 3k. Getting caps are even more economical. It's no wonder Americans are looking to Asian countries for low cost resolve to their health issues.

I seriously thought about making a trip to Asia until I did the math: To the price of two Thailand implants add round trip airfare to Bangkok, a two week hotel stay, meals, and incidentals. All things considered the overall cost for two dental implants in a foreign country would be well over 6k. Better to stay home and have them done here.

Implants begin with a metal post with a screw end is anchored into the jaw bone. Damn! That must hurt!! It looks like this. If it comes loose, then you qualify for the "He's got a screw loose" award. Even without a dental implant, I win that one hands down.

Four to six months after the screw has been inserted a crown is added to the post to complete the process.

My jawbone needs more material in order to seat the post. Adding pain to more pain, there will be a graft of bovine material (yes, bovine as in "moo!") and bone material from dead people to build-up my jawbone. You could say that my mouth is going to be haunted. Gives me the creeps just thinking about that.

There's a lot of other things I'd like to do with the six thousand American dollars. But if I chose not have implants I'd look like a regular Cow Town Hillbilly. Then I'd really be like one of the guys! Yeee Haw!!! Ride 'em bucktooth!

Let's see - on one hand keeping my 6 thousand bucks looking like a Hillbilly without teeth. On the other hand implants and a Bob looking like a Bob should look like. This is like making the same decision a woman makes when it comes to deciding whether or not to have booby implants.


It's all about how we want to look.
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8 comments:

Kelly said...

You're preachin' to the choir, baby. Don't be a wus! :)

Bob said...

Kel: Okay, okay, so I'm a wus when it comes to being violated by a member of the medical profession but mostly it's about spending the 6k. You know me and money, girl.

twilite said...

Hi bob! Is this what it means to be getting old? Wow...$6K for the implant! Hm...I need to take care of my gum and teeth...and not having to visit the peridontist?!

Bob said...

Lea: This is not about getting or being old - this is about a life long habit of clenching and grinding teeth and nothing to do with gums. Cracking a tooth beyond repair is the end product.

twilite said...

Hi bob! Thanks. Appreciate your explanation.

Max said...

Should of taken the Thailand route! I've got to renew my visa here pretty soon anyway.

I also just watched the film "Sicko", so maybe what you need is a common-law "wife" up in Canada so you can get the free dental care.

Bob said...

Max: One wife is enough - more than enough. I'll pass on a maintaining a second family in Canada even though it would mean free dental care. A second wife in exchange for dental is too high a price to pay - unless her name is Pamela Anderson.

Anonymous said...

If you or your friends are considering dental implants in Thailand - I recommend it. I had the full mouth done in June and return next week for the final stages. My whole story is here http://dentalimplants.homestead.com/index.html

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