Saturday, July 28, 2007

SAY AHHHHHH!

You could say I'm back with the living.

5 knockout tablets 90 minutes before the appointment.

2 large full of juice syringes.

Bag over my nose for nitrous.

Everything goes black.

Only thing remembered: "Bob, please open your mouth a little wider."

Bovine and human bone transplanted into the jaw.

One out of two titanium posts screwed into the jaw. The second post will be inserted by Christmas.

Roof of mouth sliced and diced. What's up with that?

Stitches upon stitches.

A black eye.

Major facial swelling.

I had the complete Rocky Balboa look. And just like Rocky, I wanted to yell "VICTORY!" when my dentist and I parted company. You had to have seen the movie to understand this.

Then came the two days completely under the influence of pain medications. Was I coming or was I going? I didn't care. Faithful Pomeranian Jilli hardly left my side. That's man's best friend for ya.

For two days there was blood on everything. And to think I asked for this!

Wife: "You bled on my pillow."

Me: "I plead guilty of being under the influence, officer."

To add insult to injury, four to six weeks of soft food. Hold the nachos. Instead I'll have a nice medium rare steak mixed up in a blender.

Have I completely grossed you out?


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7 comments:

Max said...

Shoot Dad, you could have skipped the whole procedure and had them yank the teeth. Then you'd have the real Cow Town look.

linda said...

Hey Bob, you went through the great colonscopy tube not once, but twice, without sedation....you could have done this mouth thing with a bullet in your mouth. But those meds sure bring back memories of Woodstock!
All together now, "Where's the Sunshine? Where's the sunshine?

Lolly said...

Oh my goodness, Bob! That does sound just awful...YOU alright?

Sexy Duet said...

That picture and your description just gave me the biggest heebi-jeebies! I hope you are feeling better soon.

Ms SD

Bob said...

Max: You said a mouthful!

Linda: This is the Summer of Love (40 years later) so I guess at my age getting loaded, courtesy of my dentist, is as good as it gets. And yes, where is the sunshine?

Lolly: I'm great! Thanks for asking.

Ms. S.D.: Doing just fine, thanks. You'd think that in the 21st century there would be a more humane way of killing pain associated with a dental procedure other than using a big syringe with a long needle. Barbaric!

twilite said...

Hi Bob! Hope you're feeling and looking better. Good day!

Bob said...

Twilight: 1,000 percent better. Thanks for asking!

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