MA HAUL HOE!

It's been a little over a year now that we ventured to Hawaii for a couple of weeks. I'm in the mood for warmer weather, sandy beaches, blue drinks and hearing people say, MA HAUL HOE! all the time.

What the hell is Ma Haul Hoe anyway? I always thought a Ho was a hoe.....

We stayed at the Turtle Bay Resort which is close to where Lost is filmed. And you know what, we got lost in the jungle exactly where lost is filmed.

Not funny. The wife kept saying, "I know the way, let's go in this direction." And I'll be damned if we didn't get more lost than we were lost before.

I wouldn't have minded being lost if I had a couple of blue drinks in the backpack to keep my holiday spirits high.
There's this funny looking statue at the resort. I think it serves as a warning as to what happens to guests who don't pay up. My bow legs seem to fit right in.
And then there was the time the wife was going snorkeling. Here she was sitting on a rock getting ready to get in the water when a wave washed right over the top of her.

I was high and dry on the beach looking for another blue drink. The wife is the one for adventure while we're vacationing. I'm the one to hang back, sit back, and lay back.
During our trip we met this dude named Ronald. He had great read hair and lips to match. We partied. We like drank a lot of blue drinks, got naked and did the hot tub scene. I must say that Ronald had a nice butt.

Ronald got really wasted on blue drinks and kept yelling while we were in the hot tub:

"You want fries with that?!

No, you can't have it your way!

More grease! More grease!!

Hey you! Wanna see my Big Mac?!!!"

I didn't understand why Ronald kept yelling out things like that.

Next morning Ronald got up off the coach, said his head hurt, then mentioned he had some flunky job to go to . . . cussing under his breath about damn flipping burgers and funk-a-delic times frying some fries.

We never saw Ronald again.

Maybe we need to head back to the Islands and look this red headed dude up. As if I needed an excuse for a vacation.