I BLOG THEREFORE I AM

Someone asked me why I was bothering to write publically on this blog. I've always been a writer starting as early as age 7 or 8.

"Dear Santa,
Please bring me a new mommy or daddy. I've been a good boy. Your friend,
Lynn Bob"

As a young pup I wrote for high school and college newspapers. In the military I composed letters for commanding officers. In the educational profession I wrote letters or articles to parents, board members, the press, to legislators and even to the President of the United States. There has always been writing.

If I wrote what was on my mind or runs through it it would be like what's on the mind of most men. A thought stream of like 10 minutes would go like this: "Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, STEAK, sex, sex, beer, sex, sex, sex, sex, NASCAR, sex, sex, sex, WORLD SERIES, sex, sex, sex, sex, more sex, DAMN NOSE HAIRS, sex, sex, sex, sex, WHERE'S MY CLEAN UNDERWEAR?, sex, sex, sex, FOOTBALL, sex, sex, sex, WOW LOOK AT THE COOL CORVETTE!, sex, sex, sex . . . " You get the drift. Ladies, if you don't think that men constantly think about sex you've got another think coming. And if your man says that he never or rarely thinks about sex he definitely has a problem.

I try not to write about sex. I don't spend all day at the computer. What About Bob? takes a maximum of 40 minutes out of any day to write.

Someone recently said that I should write a book. I could do that. It could be called, "Bob's Stupid Book of Things No One Really Cares About" It would have a section on things men should know - like things you can do as a man and things men really can't do. There's probably a lot of men who are in their 20's who could benefit from Bob's Book of Stupid Things.

For example, when your wife asks you how she looks before you go out on like a "married date" always say, "Honey, you always look great!"

"Does my butt look okay in this dress? It's not getting fat, is it?"

"Honey, you always look great!"

"Am I getting too fat? This dress seems tighter than the last time I put it on."

"Honey, you always look great!"

NEVER EVER! Again, NEVER EVER! Tell your lady that she's fat or her butt's fat. Men, all those sex thoughts that constantly stream through your mind? Try telling your woman her butt is fat and that's all you'll be getting, sex thoughts on the brain for a very long time and nothing else. Word!

Another section of the book would have recipes. I have a great recipe for a potato chip sandwich that I could share.

I'm not in a mood to write a book. For now, I'll stick with the blog. I like writing. When I write I write things that I like to write. I don't worry about who might read what I write and tailor my writing to who ever it is that might come upon the blog. If I did that it would ruin the "man flow" of my writing.

You're wondering what the first picture is all about. In 1955 Candace's father Buz developed a subdivision in Anchor Bay California and called it Enchanted Meadows. For the longest time a lot sat vacant in the subdivision with the statue that I have pictured. She was like the guardian of this portion of a meadow, the Mother of the Garden. We often admired the statue when we drove through Enchanted Meadows.

One day we decided to relocate to Anchor Bay. In shopping for a home we found the pefrect home to buy. It was in the Enchanted Meadows subdivision. And there she was, still guarding the meadow, this time our meadow - the Mother of the Garden.

From that day "Mother" brought a sort of peace to our house. There's just something about her that brings on that emotion. She's there. She's strong. She's made of stone. She weighs 140 pounds. Mother is going no where.

When it came time to leave the coast and relocate in-land it was difficult to leave the Mother of the Garden. All 140 pounds of her were loaded onto the moving van and transported first to a rental home then to our first home in this city and then a second five years later.

We have no idea where Mother came from or who carved her. What we do know is that our Mother of the Garden will stay with our family for generations to come. Mother's peace - Mother's silent presence has become one with us.

Roses from the garden are still blooming. Winter is coming.

And there are several orchids that are still in bloom. These are house plants that thrive if fed the right amount of water along with the right amount of nutrients. Anything more or less ends in a plant that produces no flowers. Don't these pictures beat the hell out of pictures of meat on a barbeque?
Jilli's favorites past time is to hunt for cat, possum, skunk, or squirrel poop. Here she is in the backyard on her daily hunt. Dog's do what dogs are going to do regardless of breed or what their training has been. Dog's also eat what they're going to eat regardless of what it is which makes for very horrible breath. Blech!

Did I mention that the girls get their teeth brushed every night? Now you know why.