LEAPING LIZARDS!

There's a heavy duty crop of lizards around the house this year. When we moved to Cow Town the realtor told us that when there's a lot of lizards it meant something that is related to rattlesnakes.

I'm not sure if he said that if there's a lot of lizards there's a lot of rattlesnakes or was it the other way around . . . lots of lizards mean no snakes?

Whatever the case, we got 'em. They're large. They're tiny. They're everything in between.
We also have grubs in the lawn. Grubs in the lawn mean frequent visits from skunks or raccoons or possums. To these critters grubs are like Sunday fried chicken dinner . . . something special and something that has to be gobbled up.

Now there's one more thing to go to war with . . . whatever it is tearing the crap our of the back lawn must be stopped.

I'd sit up all night with the rifle and nail those suckers. Then there would be a visit from those men in blue who won't tolerate small arms fire within the city limits. I could use the pellet gun but you know what, discharging a BB or pellet gun within the city limits of Cow Town is also against the law. My gawd, what have we come to? Now if this was the old wild west . . .

So another solution must be had - - - one that won't land Old Bob in the hoosegow. Time to hit the feed store, buy some of their Weapons of Mass Destruction and lock and load.

Damn, I love backyard war!