Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Don't Bother Knocking

Ding-dong, ding-dong.  It's someone ringing the doorbell.  The dogs go nuts.  I go nuts knowing that I must be polite to some stiff selling something and trying to make a living.  The answer is always, No thank you.  Door shuts.  That's it.  Waste of their time and mine.

Two weeks ago it was a guy selling insulation.  Last week it was two guys selling solar panels.  This week it was two people wanting to fix any windshield cracks we might have for FREE but only if we give them our insurance ID card.  Yeah, free alright.  Free today, insurance rates rise tomorrow.

I want to place a sign somewhere close to the front door that reads, No Solicitors.  Wifey forbids that I do that.  It's so unfriendly, she says.  Well I say it's so unfriendly that I have to get up off my ass and answer the door knowing that the answer will be always the same, No Thank you.  Slam.

Ding.  Lightbulb goes on.  Hell, a No Solicitor sign is not necessary.  I'll put up a sign by the door that makes a simple statement.  THANK YOU BUT NO THANK YOU!  Damn, I'm brillant. That should be polite enough to satisfy Wifey's civilized, love thy neighbor and whoever rings the doorbell side of her.

But I know Wifey.  It's all about getting to chat with whoever happens onto our doorstep.  Wifey loves to talk.  Wifey says that she knows that I'm a man of few words, that I'm stoic and can always cowboy up when the going gets tough . . . but doesn't chat a lot about it.  Yeah, that's me.  Man of action, few words.

But when it comes to solicitors over 16 years of age I have no patience.  Peddling Girl Scout cookies, school raffle tickets and cookie dough is one thing if you're 16 and under.  Love kids.  Love seeing them on the doorstep.  They're exception to Bob's Rule of Thank You But No Thank You.

If I put a sign like this up the older folks will no doubt read it and do an about face.  Kids who read this sign usually don't take Thank You But No Thank You! for an answer and ring the bell anyway. 

That's what I just love about the younger generation.

Thank you for visiting this blog today and ringing my doorbell.  Was anyone home?


DNA said...

This reminds me of my bro. No names here, you will just have to guess. Who would sit in my pop's easy chair and wave to any solicitors from there. It would really make them mad. He would just smile and wave. Btw,I won't even tell you what he would do when the telemarketers would call. I think he spent too much time with you in 2nd grade. :D

La Roo said...

So if I showed up on your doorstep with a plate of homemade cookies and I was selling them for 25 cents each you would tell me, thanks but no thanks?

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Whiskeytown Lake, Very Northern California, United States