Driving Back to the Valley Music

It's Sunday. Time to pack the bags, load the truck and head back to the Valley. It's a long drive into the mountains - a two line road with lots of curves and few opportunities to pass the many Sunday drivers. So I layback on the throttle and cruise to the music . . . like this one. . . It's a Sunday kind of drive.

Saturday Music

You Tube has been posting videos to the blog two to four days after the fact. So, if this is posted on any day but today (Saturday) . . . you get the idea. . . I tried!

Music by Beautiful People - a Remix of Jimi Hendrix's if 6's were 9's. If you like this kind of music check out the CD. If nothing else, at least give it a listen start to finish.

As usual, if you're not dancing your way through life, blah, blah, blah, blah. So there!

COWGIRL UP!

Gracie posed for a picture yesterday. She wanted to show a high school cowgirl friend in Big Valley what she looked like wearing the purple scarf that she had made for her.

She's not met her friend yet but both are anxious to get together, ride the range and exchange cowgirl stories.

The friend made the scarf to match Gracie's purple cowgirl boots.

Ain't she just the picture of the old West?
A cowgirl just isn't complete without a rope and a 6 shooter.

Gracie can swing a decent rope for a kid her age. And she is learning about pistols.

Check out the buckle on her belt. Too sweet!
Every cowgirl has a soft spot in their heart for animals. .. like their horse and their dog. This girl is no exception.

Here Grace is with daughter Dawn's dog Flirt.

Ain't they cute?!

CARRERA FEVER

I hate it when I get the hots to buy a new car. This time the hots are over a Porsche Carrera Cabriolet (that's European for convertible, folks).

Buying a fossil fuel vehicle is probably the worst investment to make. Do they make a hydrogen or french fry oil propelled Porsche? I need to keep up with the times.

I'm so tight with money. It's earned. It's saved or invested. We have money. The wife says, "Spend it".

Still, it's hard to part with money in the bank.

Since age 16 the hots were focused on the Corvette. Anyone can buy a Corvette. In Cow Town 'Vette's are a dime a dozen. Why buy something everyone else has? Being different is a good thing.

There's nary a black Carrera in this neck of the woods. Don't you think a Porsche of this type makes a statement? I do.

The statement is, "We're spending our kids inheritance." Every dime.

Then again, spending on extravagant items comes hard. Our parents were children of the Great Depression.

A lot of their habits rubbed off on us. A penny saved . . . yeah, yeah, it's earned alright.

It feels better to shop for a used Carrera Cabriolet than for a new Porsche - nothing older than a 2001. Why eat all of that depreciation?

I've had the best luck with vehicles that are "even year" models. They've been virtually trouble free.

The Carerra needs to be a 2002, 2004 or 2008. Anything other than an even year vehicle will probably be a piece of crap.

Call me superstitious but honestly even year model cars have been the very best.

It has to have: Manual transmission. Low miles. Better than excellent condition. I'm going black Carrera and never going back.

Now if I can just remember that it's just money and spend it!

Dancing Your Way Through Life: See Line Woman

Randy Crawford has an awesome version of See Line Woman on CD (but not on You Tube). Nina Simone has several versions of See Line Woman that are also awesome and interesting.

If you're not dancing your way through life . . . well, then to hell with it!

WHAT WAS I THINKING?

Wanting to make the most of my time in Cow Town I scheduled three medical appointments for yesterday.

First was a visit with my physician who happens to be female. Some dude touching private parts doesn't cut it with Bob. Call me homo-phobic but it just doesn't seem natural.

Dr: I need to check your prostrate.

Me: I need lyrics.

Dr: What?

Me: Lyrics, you know, the words to Moon River so I can sing while you explore the inner most private parts of Bob.

Dr: No lyrics, only latex gloves and KY jelly.

Me: I love it when you talk dirty.

Later on I call the wife.

Me: You know, I actually kind of enjoyed the prostrate exam. Do you think that we could . . .

Wife: (Laughing)

Women have pelvic exams. Men have prostrate exams. Apart from the KY Jelly that's used, never the twain shall meet.
Then there was the appointment with my dermatologist. See the canister of liquid nitrogen?

It's used to freeze/burn off the barnacles on my face, arms and torso. Areas that are treated form a blister.

I look so pretty this morning.

Visiting my Dermo is always interesting. Craig always has something to say in his dry humor sort of way. His wit makes a torturous experience half way tolerable.

Fair skinned white people need to stay out of the sun or use lots of sun screen. That's one lesson I never learned.

The last appointment of the day happened to be the optometrist.

Dilate the eyes.

Shine bright lights into the eyes while I look up, down and all around.

Pictures of the orbs.

Look through a weird looking machine.

Hear some bad news. One orb has an area that hemorrhaging in its upper most reaches.

Stress? Strain lifting? High levels of cholesterol? Who knows.

Wait three months and have another exam.

Oh, the joys of living.

Driving home with dilated pupils is always an interesting experience. I could hardly see a damn thing. There should be a law against driving under the influence of dilation.

At the end of the day I was pretty tuckered out. What was I thinking when I scheduled three exams in one day?

Did I mention that today there's an annual checkup with my allergist?

TMI #128 MORE THAN YOU WANT TO KNOW

1. Stubble... good or bad? How often do you shave?

I have stubble now - four days worth. It's no big deal to me. The wife has another opinion on stubble. It's the pits scraping hair and skin off of the face five days a week. When time off of work comes around, you can bet there's going to be stubble. And there might even be stubble in other places . . .

2. If someone shoves you up against a wall while kissing you, your reaction is?

Well, if it's a guy doing the kissing I'd be a yelling, "Let's get ready to rumble!" If it's a female I'd be a yelling, "Let's ready to stumble!"

3. Did you ever own a fake ID?

Yes, and it landed me an overnight stay in jail at the tender age of 17.

4. Have you ever played a game which may require you or others to disrobe?

Would that be the game, Deal or No Deal?

5. Have you ever had sex in the snow? Rain?

Have you ever had something big rammed up your butt for asking suck stupid questions?

Bonus (as in optional): Tell us about your last boyfriend/girlfriend?

I'll take the fifth on this one.

Actually, I'm married to my last girl friend.

The picture is of Mt. Shasta and the Valley.

Dinner in Big Valley

We eat like this in the Valley. Nothing but cowyboy foot and great conversation. Listen up and hear what we talk about!

Jesus Children of America

It's Saturday. Time to dance your way through the weekend . . . and for Easter, this song. Turn it up. Dance. Think about it.

CHERISHING THE MEMORIES

Jill was a private dog. There were time when one would swear that she was human in nature. Jilli had unique traits.

For example, Jill always demanded privacy for a decent bowel movement.

There's Vinkca ground cover on a slope on the south end of the house. While I was trimming it yesterday my thoughts were of Jilli for this area was her choice for privacy.

The ground cover is always high (12 - 24 inches in height) and as you can see, nearly covers a small dog. Perfect privacy for Jilli.

Jilli would delight in going down the bank and choosing the very best spot for her morning duty.


And then she'd go leaps and bounds to come back up the hill.

I'm thankful that I took the time to take a lot of pictures of Jilli doing what she did best albeit a dump on the side of the hill.

Cherishing the memories of a loved one lost is difficult when all you want is your dog back.

"Life is not fair" runs through my mind. "Why my dog?!" is a constant in my every day thinking.

It's been 2 1/2 months since her untimely passing. Life without my dog still stings.

One day there will be another dog in my life. She'll have unique qualities But there will never be another Jilli. Never.

HOME FOR A WEEK

Back home in Cow Town for Spring Break. It feels damn good to be home:

My own bed.

Water that looks and smells like water (Valley well water is yellow and smells like iron).

The wife's cooking.

Our dog Zoe to lick my face and remind me of how loved I am by at least one member of the family.

Temperatures 20 degrees warmer than the Valley.

Family.

Be it ever so humble (or decadent) there's no place like home.

The wife, Grace, Flirt the Pom, son Scott and daughter Dawn borrowed my truck a couple of weekends ago. They drove to Mt. Shasta and went sledding.

I stayed home, did chores, paid bills. Staying home after being in the Valley all week agrees with me.


Grace dug a hole in the snow and pretended she was going to sleep there all night.

The family will gather tomorrow for an Easter dinner at our house.

Ham.

Papa hamming it up.

Stupid Bob jokes.

One day they'll all miss what Bob brings to the table.

TMI #127: STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES

Why do I even entertain answering these questions?

Bored?

Nothing to do?

Take a run at the weekly TMI questions.

A herd of deer had gathered just over the fence of a local restaurant. They looked like a bunch of junk yard dogs to me.

1. In the midst of a hangover have you ever promised to "never drink again?" How long until you broke that vow? Yes. 10 minutes.

2. What is the stupidest thing you have ever done while drinking (or not if it is really stupid) but thought it seemed like a good idea at the time?

Jumped off of a cliff into poison oak.


3. On a scale of 1-10, where do you rate green beer?

Zero. Way over rated.


4. Have you ever kissed someone you shouldn't have (drunk or sober)?

I've kissed a few women that I had to be drunk to kiss. I've kissed a few women when I was sober and should have been drunk as a skunk.


5. What is the stupidest thing you have ever seen a drunk do (besides driving a car)?

Ever watch Jack Ass? The dudes have to be drunk or on something to do all those stupid things.


Bonus (as in optional): How do you cure your hangover(s)?

Hair of the dog. Tomato beer with hot sauce.

.

WE DONE GOT THE CRABS!

Saturday night was all you can eat crab night in Big Valley. And crabs, we got a bunch of them.

There were American flags at all of the tables just to remind us that we were in America, I guess.

Before plate upon plate of crab was served up there was salad, garlic bread and pasta.
This guy here was at the end of our table sitting with Dixie (who works for me) and her husband Denny. This guy has it down pat: Rest up and eat more crab. He's definitely catching a couple of winks.
So, daughter Dawn catches the idea from this guy and catches a few ZZZZ's on her own . . . resting up for the next platter of crab. She has to hang on to husband Keith so she won't fall over.
Caroline (who also works for me) and John were across from the wife and I.

Crab is okay. It's a lot of work just for a mouthful. Lots of cracking and digging - that's how crab comes out of the shell. I'd rather not work that hard for any meal.

The wife won 30 pounds of Buffalo meat. What else did you expect to be raffled off in the Valley?

Noelle (another employee sitting next to the wife) won $125 in another raffle. Dixie won a 40 buck gift certificate to a local restaurant.

Lady luck was riding on our table Saturday night.

Everyone's deserted me and left for Cow Town last night. It's a St. Paddy dinner alone tonight at the local hotel. Corned beef and cabbage beats the hell out of endless picking crab meat out of shells.

Bring on the green beer, the Bushmills and tomorrow's hangover. I'm ready!

BOOBCAT WITH A BOBCAT


This would be my boobcat, the love of my life, pictured with a bobcat.

We visited a store yesterday which is a combination grocery, antique shop, hunter's supply and restaurant. Interesting place. I go there two to three times a week.

They have stuffed animals hanging all over the place like this stuffed bobcat.

There are no boobcats that are stuffed and hanging on the wall. We'll leave that department to the Hooters chain of restaurants.


Keith and daughter Dawn posed in front of a once fierce bear.

Flirt is in the little bag that Dawn has under her arm.
Flirt pops out for a peek at the bear. After a quick look this little puppy popped back into the bag.
How'd you like to high five this dude? Imagine trekking through the forest, rounding a bend in the trail and meet this fellow nose to nose?

It would be HOLY MACARONI AND CHEESE TIME! and shout, "As one sheepherder said to the other sheep herder, LET'S GET THE FLOCK OUT OF HERE!"

You Put A Move On My Heart

Quincy Jones featuring Tamia - a slow dance for a slow Saturday night in the Valley. What an amazing voice Tamia has. .. .

If you're not dancing your way through life. . . . then get with it!

IT'S KEITH'S BIRTHDAY!

The kids came up to the Valley last night for a celebration - it's son-in-law Keith's birthday.

We wined.

We dined.

We had dessert and coffee.

We had a great time talking to Chef Paul and his wife Connie - owners of the restaurant. They spent quite a bit of time with us until their restaurant started to book.

And when it was all said and done - the dinner and wine downed - we drove 17 miles back to the Valley house.

Here's the wife and daughter Dawn.

As usual, I'm behind the camera.
Here's the birthday boy.

Today we'll tour the valley. Tonight there's a benefit dinner put on by the Lion's Club . . . all you can eat crab.

It's lonesome living alone in the Valley. Having family around this weekend definitely brightens up my mood.

TGIS!

TGIS? Thank goodness it's snowing!

That's right. I don't know about the thank goodness part but it's snowing in the Valley.

Just when we thought winter was over, long gone, Adios, Sayonara, Ciao, etc . . . here it comes again.

HOW I WANTED TO END MY DAY AT WORK

It was one screwed up day. I need to dump this job. Here's what I wanted to do to finish out this joh. Bob can do this part quite well.

MIGRATING SNOW GEESE

Throughout the year the Valley is host to a number of birds going north or going south.

If you're birds of a feather who flock together it is the time of the year to go north.

There are snow geese all over the place. There's bird shit all over the place, especially on the truck. That's an occupational hazard.


I stopped the other day to watch a flock of snow geese feed in a pasture. Believe it or not, this is one of the smaller groups of geese. Normally they completely blanket a field.
When I leave the Valley I'll take with me a lot of memories. Some I'll choose to forget. The others I'll cherish for life.

Sitting quietly and watching the habits of the snow geese are memories worth saving.

When The Wife Proposed To Me

And she did, the wife did propose to me. Actually, the wife said to shit or get off the pot. You know the ending to that story.

When she proposed, the wife sang this song. She wanted to know what kind of man I was . . . And you also know the answer to that question, too!

If you're not dancing through life then you are definitelty not living. Get with it!

THE CONNECTED HOME

Nearly a year ago:

Wife: Let's get the TV out of the family room. It's too noisy and too close to the kitchen. When I prepare food the television spoils my Zen.

Me: Okay.

Where the bookcase now stands is where the wide flat screen LCD HDTV used to be.

Six months later:

Wife: I'd like a TV on the wall. It would be nice to watch cooking shows while I prepare food in the kitchen.

Me: Okay.

So, there you have it - a wall mounted wide screen LCD HDTV - a February birthday gift to the wife complete with satellite and cable access. Spoiling the wife is something I do well.

The wife and I installed the television onto the wall ourselves once again proving that the sexes can work harmoniously side-by-side.

Happy Hump Day.

THANK YOU GEORGE BUSH!

George Bush, oilman turned president, this man is responsible for high oil prices.

This man is responsible for record profits in the oil industry.

This man responsible for everyone losing an arm and an leg with every fill up.

Never elect an oilman as president. This is what happens.

What you see here are fuel prices in Big Valley. And stupid Bob done filled up his diesel pickup with fuel in the Valley just the other day.

30 gallons at $4.07 a gallon.

$122 bucks.

You could feed a family of four on $122 bucks for maybe a week. Maybe more. I fill the tank at least once a week, sometimes twice.

I have no answers to this problem only questions.