Jesus According To Bob

Grace:  Papa, it's Palm Sunday.

Me:  Yes, I know.  Palm Sunday is my most favorite Bible story.

Grace:   Then Papa you know that Palm Sunday got its name from the palm branches that were waved by the crowds of people and strewn in the path of Jesus as he entered Jerusalem for the Passover riding on a donkey.

Me:  What?  No way.  That's not how it happened, Gracie.  Here's what really happened: 

See Jesus and some of his pals were itching to go surfing during spring break.  They were tired of studying and just had to take a break from school.  And did you know that Jesus was the best surfer in the world.  He won all kinds of contests. 

Grace:  Papa....?!!!

Okay, okay, just listen........So Jesus and his buds grabbed their surfboards and went to Hawaii.  I don't know how long it took them to get there.  Jet planes and fast boats were not invented yet.  They must have made a big raft and floated to Hawaii.  Or, they could have just gotten on their boards and paddled there.  It must have taken a couple days of floating or paddling.

When they got to Hawaii.  Jesus and his friends sat under the palm trees, soaked up the sun, drank lots of blue colored drinks and ate pineapple.  And they surfed. And they surfed.

When Jesus and his buds got hungry the went to the store and bought a whole pig that was ready for roasting.  They wrapped the pig up in palm leaves, put it in a deep pit filled with firey coals and covered it with sand.  12 hours later it was oink, oink time for everyone.  The pig was alsolutely delish.  It was so tasty that it was something Martha Stewart would have loved to have eaten.

Next day was the surfing contest.  No one could beat Jesus.  No one.  He was the best surfer in the whole wide Bible!  Jesus could do stuff on a surfboard that no one could.

Grace:  No way.  How could Jesus be the best surfer back then?  Surfing wasn't even invented.

Me:  What do you mean?    No way.  Jesus could walk on water, couldn't he?  So who else would be the best surfer in the world?  No one could out surf a guy who could walk on water.....

Grace:  Papaaaaaaa!

Me:  True story, Gracie.......Anyway, Palm Sunday has a special meaning.  It was a great Spring Break for Jesus and his friends.  They sat under palm trees, roasted a pig wrapped in palm leaves and Jesus was crowned as the best surfer in the world. 

After Jesus was crowned he and his buds piled in a donkey cart and paraded the streets of Hawaii.  Tons of people lined the streets waving palm branches crying out,  AWESOME DUDE!  WAY TO HANG TEN!  THAT'S SOOO GNARLY!

That's how Palm Sunday got its name.

Gracie:  I'm going to get my Bible.  I've just got to find this story and read it to everyone in my Bible class.  They're going to be knocked out when they hear about Jesus being the best surfer in the world.

Me:  If you can't find this story in your Bible I'll be happy to visit your class and share it with them.  I'm a great story teller.

Grace:  That's what Grammy keeps telling me...........