Batting a Thousand
In baseball if you hit the ball every time and get on base you're batting a thousand. Really great hitters hit the ball and get on base every 3 times, maybe 4 if they're like super baseball dude.
It was jury duty this week. Got selected to sit on the jury. Answered questions. Then I was excused from sitting on the jury by the defending attorney.
So, three times selected to sit and be interviewed. Three times excused by defending attorneys from serving on a jury.
I'm batting a thousand. Perfect score. In the Babe Ruth league of jurists, I'm the man!
It's just as well. The guy on trial, a scraggy critter, sliced and diced a female in the course of ripping her home off. I could do without all the gory details that are soon to be presented to the jurors. The sliced and diced female survived (thank goodness). Dollars to donuts this guy is going to spend more than a little bit of time in the "pen".
Why did the defending attorney let me off? Hard to tell exactly why but it seemed that both attorneys were looking for jurors who were less than opinionated and more churchmouse in nature. I wanted to serve on this jury, I did. I gave my very best answers to questions asked by the judge and both attorneys. It wasn't like Bob was telling stories to get out of this obligation. Anyway, I think it wasn't so much what I said but how I said it.
I had to laugh at one of the questions the Asst D.A. asked each prospective juror: Do you have any hobbies? What the hell does that matter in a criminal trial? Every guy, swear to God, said this: Hunting and fishing. Those were the hobbies of Tom, Dick and Harry residing in Cowtown. The ladies all said this: Gardening. And a couple of other things like having babies and giving their husbands sex on the beach. Ladies do that in Cowtown. Like I listened to well over 40 interviews and these were the standard answers.
I would have liked to have replied when asked about my hobby with the response: Masterbation. I'm a real jack-off.... Yeah! That would have gotten Bob the fast track off the jury, especially if I had added, masterbation in public places. Ha. Ha. Haaaaa! If you ever want off a jury use that one.
But old Bob used a straight up answer to the question of hobbies - -- sailing. Duh. Who would have ever guessed that sailing would head up my list of hobbies.
I'm home and jury free for at least the next 12 months. Betcha come next jury summons I'll come out of it still batting a thousand. I just gotta be me.