MELON GROWING AGRICULTURE 101
If melons get a lot of sunlight, they will grow to a larger size, won't they?
Grow babies, grow!
I've been blogging since August. By February I thought I'd be a famous blogger.
Jay Leno would have already interviewed me on the Tonight show.
My picture would have been on the cover of Popular Blogger.
My blog would have well over 1,000 visitors each day.
And everyone would just love what old Bob had to write and that they would dote on his every word.
Well, this blog sucks. It's getting 3-5 hits a day which is a huge indication that this blog really does suck.
And to those faithful What About Bob? fans who take time to visit this place every day, thank you very much. And please tell a friend to patronize What About Bob?
I thought I'd post a picture of a nekked melon girl to see how many hits What About Bob? would get today. Maybe with a nekked picture the blog would be less suckable.
Actually, this picture is not far off reality for Old Bob. In fact, it's much like my college days at Hippie U. Nekked dancing at Hippie U was what the school did best.
At Hippie U it was not uncommon for students to dance about. Those were the days when people did things like that . . . dancing about and being nekked was no big thing.
There was this guy at Hippie U - Vito I think his name was. He was a weird dude who'd made faces while he'd dance on the lawn at Hippie U. He had a couple of kids with one lady. The boy was named Freakus and the girl Groovy Nipples. Truth. These names were on their birth certificates which I do know for a fact as Groovy was enrolled for a short period of time in one of my schools.
We called her Groovy for short.
How would you like to have a name like Groovy Nipples?
Names like that were typical for the 70's. One family I knew named one of their girls Saffron Blue and the other California. Nice little girls. The names seem to fit.
At Hippie U we'd dance on the lawn every Friday to live music. When we started to sweat, everyone stripped off their clothes and jumped into the large duckpond in the back of the campus. This was fun. This was cool. This felt dangerous. And the scenery wasn't too bad, either. Except for those chicks who never shaved under their arms or legs. Yuck-oh. Back then, it was the hippie thing to go natural.
Today, the cool thing, from what I've been told, is to shave every single little hair off your body. If you're single, I think that's what you have to do to be marketable in the year 2007.
Nekked swimming lasted about 10 minutes because that's about the amount of time it took campus police to get the message there was messing around in the duckpond, get in their squad car and drive over to the pond. Busting nekked people would make any cops day.
When the campus police were spotted hitting 70 mph down the duckpond road, everyone scurried to get their clothes on and then act like nothing was happening. No one ever got busted.
During my time at Hippie U I got into film making. One of the films I made was on how to build a geodesic dome Buckminister Fuller style. The dome was built on the Hippie campus in a single day. Start to finish I filmed how it was done.
I remember asking the student in charge of making the dome (it was part of a class project) how it was possible to build a dome in just one day. His response?
"It takes a lot of narcotics and wine." And that became the name of my film.
Just like every other outdoor activity at Hippie U, once the dome was finished, everyone let out a whoop, took off their clothes and jumped into the duckpond.
I got that on film, too. The campus police driving lickity split down the duckpond road also made into my film.
Parents in Cow Town love to send their kids to Hippie U. It's not the same college that it was in the 70's. Apparently Hippie U is well respected and actually teaches something.
I asked these parents about nekked dancing at the duckpond. They looked dumbfounded. Guess that tradition has long since been lost.
I can't help but laugh when moms and dads rave about Hippie U - that it's the best, that Hippie U is really preparing their kids for the future and that the classes at the college are really tough.
I also got an education at Hippie U but what I learned is another story for yet another blog.
Sounds like straight people have taken over my college.
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