ALMOST FAIR TIME

It's hard to believe that another year has passed and it's nearly time for the fair to open. This will be Grace's third year of enjoying the sights and sounds of the fair.

On her first visit at age two she rode a horse named Cinnamon.

On her second visit at age three she rode the same horse.

And on her third visit that's coming up, it's likely she'll ride Cinnamon for the third time. In between fairs Grace talks about "her horse" every once in a while.

Last year Grace was limited to what she could ride because she didn't make the height on the "you can't ride if you're not this tall" sign.

This aggravated the daylights out of Grace. She was ready to take on any ride and I mean any ride but was reduced to riding the kiddie cars. Grace couldn't understand the rule of being so tall before you could ride the "big rides".

I'll have to measure Grace and see if she is tall enough this year to ride dare devils rides. I wonder if she'll still be game to ride them.

Most likely she'll want to have her face painted again. If this lovely young lady is doing the painting again, I just might get my face painted, too.


No fair is complete without animals. She especially likes the pens with baby pigs in them. For the last two years Grace has wanted her Papa to buy a baby pig for her. Apart from raising your own bacon what would I do with a pig in the backyard? Why does such a lovely young lady want a pig for a pet.

Grace is unique.

If I had a pig we could take mud baths together. We could eat like pigs. We'd have a snorting contest and then we'll squeal. We could play steal the bacon.

A pig could be my new best friend.

Oink! Oink!

BLAH BLAH BLOGS

Our roses are going great guns. Buds, blooms, roses all over the place. We must be doing something right when it comes to roses.

Do you read many blogs? If you do, have you noticed that blogs are written in cycles?

Lots of writing at the get go. Then tapers off. Then nothing. Takes about 6 months to a year. Scientists who think about things like this say the life of the average blog is 8 months.

What About Bob is in its 10th month and going strong.

I just get used to reading a blog and then wham, bam, thank you mam - the blog goes belly up.

What's my point? Monday mornings don't have to have a point to anything. But I do miss reading people's blogs who have stopped writing and who I've gotten to know through their blogs.


Things I Collect:

A thousand CD's are sitting in a case in my office. I ask myself why it is that I continue to collect CD's when I can download any tune I want off of the Internet.

Many of the CD's are already loaded onto the computer. The media player tells me that I have placed 249 hours or 10 days of non stop music into the computer.

Maybe it's the sight of all of those CD's on shelves. Impressive. That's probably why I continue to buy and collect compact disks. Old Bob just wants to impress.

Then there are the 500 plus vinyl LP albums that are boxed and stored in the garage. Let's not go there.

Among the dozens of things that I collect, there's the large collection of glass bottle stoppers. There's some sense in collecting CD and LP vinyl music.

There's no sense to a bottle stopper collection that does nothing except sit and collect dust. But they are pretty and reflect what was used in another time.

The picture shows only a small amount of the collection.

Why do I collect things and why do I collect things like that?
By the ship's clock, it was 6 bells a little while ago.

Yes, I collect clocks and there's two ship's clocks in the collection.

In case you didn't know, my ship mate friends, the hours of a watch on board a ship were measured by the half hour by bells. Each watch was four hours.

For example, a ship's clock climes 6 bells at 0300, 0700, 1100, 1500, 19oo and 2300.

Children, that's our lesson for the day. Class is dismissed.

Ding! Ding, ding!

EVERY DAY SHOULD BE MOTHER'S DAY

If you have a mother, show her your love 365 days a year. Once a year doesn't cut it.

Remember:

You only have one mother.

One day your mother will fade out of your life forever.

The next day you'll wonder why you didn't express your love for your mother and,

You'll discover that you have a ton of questions that only your mother could answer.

I never thought I'd say this but I miss my mother, rest her soul. Gone from us October 2000 and 10 days after the death of Candace's mother. The loss of our mother's created a void in our lives that will never be filled. Life will never be the same without our moms.

Happy Mother's Day.

E.D. STANDS FOR ERECTOR SET DYSFUNCTION

It was before I got smart. People talking about E.D. this, E.D. that. What did I know? One day a good friend said that this E.D. stuff was all about sex.

I concluded that E.D. could only stand for every day. People who had to have sex everyday needed treatment. What else could E.D. possibly be?

So I wondered - what could be so terrible about sex everyday? I asked myself why there was a treatment for such a thing. Heck sex every day . . . whoo hoo! Three, four times a day? That could be a problem.

Sex three or four times a day would get in the way of drinking beer, writing this blog, playing ball with the dog, cleaning my garage and channel surfing. I'd need treatment for that! That would be way too much time on one thing and not enough time for these other things.

When I was told that E.D. didn't stand for Every Day I thought again. Well, the only other possibility was that this thing called E.D. had something to do with an Erector Set that was all screwed up. What else could it be other than Erector set Dysfunction also known as E.D.

A couple of months later I was corrected again. E.D. stands for a man not being able to come to attention and hold being at attention for at least a minute. For at least a minute at attention is man thing.

What does a wife do when E.D. happens? I know what my wife would do. Whenever I'm hurt and I'm talking bleeding like a river hurt, she starts laughing. No matter that I'm about ready to buy the farm, the wife laughs.

During a home improvement project, I got popped on the head. Blood from hell to breakfast. Guess who starts laughing.? I've learned how to tend to my own wounds.

So imagine when erector set dysfunction hits old Bob. The wife will think it's funny as hell and laugh, laugh, laugh. I can hear her now: hahahahahahaha Ha. I know her. She will laugh.

Erector set dysfunction will be the funniest thing she ever saw. Yes, ever saw. They say you have to see Erector set dysfunction to fully appreciate it. Easy for them to say. I for one will not appreciate Erector set dysfunction.

If E.D. ever hits home I wonder if I'll want to take one of those blue Viagra pills. How terrible. To be a man you have to refer to the pill box. That's not me.

I'm old school. I'd use an old fashioned remedy for Erector set dysfunction.

It would have to be Popsicle sticks and rubber bands.

OUCH! Quit your laughing, wife! IT'S NOT FUNNY! STOP IT!!!!

STUDENT OF THE WEEK

Grace will be student of the week starting on Monday in her preschool class.

Grace rarely takes a bad picture. She's been photographed so much that this girl doesn't miss an opportunity to pose for the camera.

As part of being student of the week, a bulletin board in the classroom is devoted to them. Kids bring pictures of their families and themselves to post on it.

Yesterday the wife, Grace and I were going through our pictures to supplement what the mother will take to school. I wanted a couple of shots that were not typical of our granddaughter.

Here are two. Grace howled at the suggestion that I'd be showing them off to her classmates. I thought the picture of her runny nose would be kind of cute on the bulletin board.

Guess we'll have to save that one for the picture album and drag it out to show Grace's friends when she in her teen years.

She'll love me for that.

TIP-TOE THROUGH THE TULIPS

Yesterday was ripe for planting flowers in front of the house. What was planted and how it was put into the ground was the wife's vision.

When the lady has a vision it's best to step aside.

Grace wanted to help plant. She was good for putting one petunia plant in its place and no more. When you're four years old, enough is enough.


The rocks (they're really boulders) that nearly broke my back are sprinkled throughout the area. There are mounds of dirt and rocks stacked close to or on top of each other.

Once the plants spread out, it will be quite a display of color.

I'll put water in the fountain this morning and turn on the pump. It was drained and cleaned last week. You could not see the bottom of the fountain for the algae.


Grace is practicing for a department of transportation job when she gets older: Lean on the shovel, watch someone else do the work.

If you look closely, Grace has her baby chimp in a bag that's attached to her. Aside from being employed by the department of transportation, no doubt Grace will be one of those mothers who bring their kids to work.

If we have our way there will be college, a graduate degree and a six figure salary waiting for this girl in lieu of a life relegated to leaning on a shovel.

ODDS AND ENDS TUESDAY

Today is the day to pick up the loose ends. For example, this is the week to pick several colors of paint for the hallway, the kitchen and family room.

It's also the week to FINALLY! select perennials to plant in the front of the house. I say finally since the planter has been plumb nekked for at least 4 months. Looks like hell.

Today is the day the "girls" get haircuts. They go every 6 weeks. Keeping our Poms with short hair is important: It's easy to find the ticks they seem to attract, easy to keep them well groomed and in hot weather, makes for a couple of cool puppies.

When the lawn has just been watered the girls as well as Fluffy the cat hate to get their paws wet. They use the curbing around the lawn as their path. Even with our pets, necessity is the mother of invention.

It was 93 in Cow Town yesterday. To a point it was great being outside. Then it was great being inside. The house stayed a semi-cool 78 degrees - nearly warm enough to kick on the a/c but we didn't.


A lot of birds gather in the yard to be fed. There are several sacks that are hung and filled with seed specifically for a species of small yellow birds. During the winter outside of the sacks are filled with little yellow bodies all clamoring for what's inside.
Here's a left over from Yosemite. The picture, not Max. He's ready to dig into steak, baked potato, veggies and salad (topped with curry/honey dressing).

Like his father, Max enjoys a fairly rare steak and a glass of fine Cabernet.

It has been said that bread is the staff of life. Frankly, I believe it's steak and not bread that's the staff of life. Steak: It's what should be for dinner.
HOW I DO THINGS: Here you see the wife attempting to remove a root bound tree from a pot. While Grace watched, Candace dug and dug and dug to free the tree from the pot.

Finally, she asks, "Can you please get this poor little tree out of the pot for me?"

Me: "No sweat."

Quick trip to the garage to get a sledgehammer.

One swing of the hammer to the side of the pot.

BAM! CRACK! CHING!

Me: "All done. There's a tool for everything."

She: "Remind me never to ask you to help me with a window that won't open."

COW TOWN IS SIZZLING!

88 degrees yesterday. Ninety something today. Such is life in California.

Will today be the first day of the season that we turn on the air conditioner?

The roses are blooming.
The tomatoes are growing.
Our apple tree will produce a healthy crop of fruit.
Our plum tree has yet to yield more than just a sprinkling of little delicacies.

You're looking at the sum total of this year's backyard plum crop.

YO-SEM-ITE

Last pictures of Yo-Sem-Ite. No photograph accurately portrays the beauty of the Yosemite Valley. It's a trip you have to make to fully appreciate the colors, the textures, the sounds and the smell of nature.

Writer's block has consumed the mind. The light at the end of the tunnel is a flashlight shining in one ear and coming out of the other. I feel empty and no ones home. There are days like that.

Today has to be a day of rest. As they say:

Never on Sunday . . .

PETER PAN CAN FLY?

There's nothing like a four year old who believes everything they hear.

There's nothing like a four year old who wonders if what's she is hearing is really the truth.

Here's Grace listening to Candace read the story of Peter Pan.

By Grace's look, she's not buying any of it.
Have you seen Pulp Fiction more than once? How many times have you watched this film?

It's gross. It's bloody. It's violent. It's Quentin Tarantino at his finest.

Why do we watch Pulp Fiction again and again and again?

Right before Jules (Samuel Jackson) "makes a hit" he quotes a passage from the Bible (Ezekiel 25:17 among others).

Do you remember this?

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

Hmmmm.

Dear Lord. We need your help. I won't name names but somewhere in this troubled world that we live in, it's time for you to walk the walk.

$450 A NIGHT

The Ahwahnee Hotel in Yosemite. Rooms start at 450 clams a night. Opened in 1927, the Ahwahnee remains an elegant landmark in the park.

What a view each of the rooms have.

Max and I had a drink in the lounge. The drinks were nothing fancy. Two drinks, 20 bucks. We didn't get fries with the drinks. They were 8 bucks extra.
Teddy Roosevelt and John Muir in Yosemite. 1907. We visited the site where both men sat by a campfire and discussed, according to the plaque, "forest good". Maybe the plaque was supposed to read "discussed Forest Gump". That made more sense than talking about forest good. What the heck is forest good?
I took time to photograph this reflection.
Another Yosemite waterfall. There were a bunch to photograph.

It's Friday. It's been a great week.

HOME FROM YO-SEM-ITE

Yosemite was Yo-Sem-Ite to dad. As a boy, we traveled often to and camped at Yosemite.

On the road up, on the road back to Fresno, Dad would sing a made-up song about good old Yo-Sem-Ite.

Max, the wife and I just spent 4 days in the Yosemite Valley.

During our stay there was haze in the valley making for less than desirable photographs. In spite of that, the beauty of Yo Sem Ite is overwhelming. Max enjoyed Yosemite - it was his first visit - but thought there were too many trees. I think he's right. Cut a few down - they're interfering with the view.
This time of year is the right time to travel to Yosemite. Very few people. Warm, sunny days. Trees leafing out. Dogwood & Red bud in bloom. Waterfalls at their finest.

The pose for the camera is typical for father and son. We stand together. Max grabs my shoulder. Smile. Wrrrr, click!

Next visit we'll come up with another pose that's wayyy different. This one is too boring.
We were camped at Midpines. Part of the road between Midpines and Yosemite was buried in a landslide of rocks and gravel - like at least a tenth of a mile of road was under tons and tons of rock.

To keep the road open a half a mile long detour was constructed (complete with special bridge fording the river) that crossed the Merced River and then back on the other side again.

It was a one lane detour so we had to take turns using the detour with opposing vehicles. There was a 15 minute wait. You could jump the red light and play chicken with on-coming traffic.

Here's we're waiting for the light to turn green. We were not interested in a game of chicken. The engine is off. All you hear are the sounds of the Merced.

It was a long drive home yesterday. We were tired and both of us miserable with head colds.

Midday we pulled off of the highway for lunch at a roadside restaurant. Me a burger, Candace eggs and chorizo for which she paid dearly. She was up all night hugging the toilet and calling out for Ralph.

RALPH! RALPH!!!

I don't think Candace will be ordering eggs and chorizo for a long time.