Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Double Dip Police

Round Table is heavily advertising their latest connoction:  Pizza Dippers.  For the last month of more ads touting this new treat" have been inserted every Wednesday into newspapers and mailboxes.

This morning, right on time, this ad appeared.  For a moment I thought that I'd try one.  We're taking care of a friend's two girls Friday night ages 6 and 10.  What a great thing to serve them.  Then I thought again. 

Look at the photo.  Think of yourself dipping that first slice of pizza into the sauce. You think, OH YUM!.  Then you think again, you definitely need to dip the pizza into the sauce before taking another bite.

WRONG!!!!!  If you did dip again you'd be guilty of one of the biggest social sins of all time:  DOUBLE DIPPING!

It really seems that Round Table is condoning big time the double dipping of their new Pizza Dippers menu item.  Do you want to support that by purchasing a Pizza Dipper (which really should have been named the Double Dipper Pizza).

There oughta be a law against double dipping.  The police would be made to haul away double dip offenders.  No trial.  No jury.  Just punishment.  Offenders would be made to crawl on all fours through the pig pen mud to a slop filled trough and dine with the hogs.  There the offenders would double dip a slices of a large 6 week old pizza into the slop....and eat every bite.  That will teach 'em to never ever double dip again. 

Second time double dip offenders would have to sleep with the hogs for a week eating only double dipped 6 week old pizza dipped in slop.  If that doesn't learn 'em I don't know what will.

If you have kids my advice would be to (A) Teach them never ever to double dip (do they even know what that means?) and (B) For you to never ever buy a Pizza Dippers Round Table special as you'd just be supporting a very bad social habit.

Double Dippers never go to Heaven.  This I know.

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Whiskeytown Lake, Very Northern California, United States