Thursday, January 06, 2011

Tying One On
Mom stopped tying my shoes on the first day of first grade.   Bob was on his own.  No matter what I said, no matter how long I cried, mom was done tying my shoes.  Mom spent time trying to get me to get the hang of how to tie my shoes.  No go.  Bob was destined for the special ed class that specialized in tying shoes. I thought that I was doomed.

On the first day of first grade I went to the neighbors crying my eyes out . . . shoe laces dragging in the dirt.  Jeanne, the across the street first grade girl friend offered to help.  It took one shoe tying demo from Jeanne and BANG!  the light bulb went on.  First try both shoes were tied with a bow . . .and no knots. . . and longer a slave to when my mom could or could not tie my shoes.  I was solo shoe string flying on my own.  Whoo hoo!   

Mom was never a good teacher when it came to things like tying shoes or advice on the meaning of life.  Mom was mom and ya just had to love her for who she was.  She did the best with what she had to work with.  And that was fine with me because I knew that it's true that we only have one mom to love . . .  and tolerate.

Funny what you remember after so much of time has passed.   


La Roo said...

Knowing her limitations makes for better understanding and softens everything.
I know it has with me. I used to think why did or does she act a certain way? Or how come she did that? Why could'nt she have been more emotionally available?
Answer: She did the best she knew how and she was never taught. She didn't even know any better and didn't know she was supposed to know any better.
It took me god knows how many years to come to this peace, but finally I can sit with it much better. She is my mom and I love her dearly.
Is it the same for you?

Bob said...

Yes. But it took her death for me to come to that understanding.

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Whiskeytown Lake, Very Northern California, United States