Early Christmas Gift
Me: Alright if I give you an early Christmas gift?
Wifey: Is this the only gift I'm getting this year?
Me: No, lots what that came from.
Wifey: Bring it on.
Wifey opens the gift and then opens her mouth wide and gasps.
Wifey: You're kidding, aren't you?
Me: Never been more serious in my life, girl.
Wifey: If you think I'm going to redeem a gift certificate to have my nipples pierced and you get off unpierced and scot free you've got another think coming big boy.
Me: And your point is.......
Wifey: You'll get pierced too . . .and I make the call where.
Me: I'm game....name the area....nose ring?
Wifey: Nope. Scrotum or foreskin. . . make the choice. I'd love to lead you around by your nuts or dick. If you don't then I am not going there.
Me: Shit. Give me the certificate. Maybe I can exchange it for a tattoo........just for you.
Wifey: Gawd Bob, don't you ever learn. It's about time that you get it. No piercings. No tats. Just me.
Me: I don't want to get it.
So much for early Christmas presents.