Early Christmas Gift

Me:  Alright if I give you an early Christmas gift?

Wifey:  Is this the only gift I'm getting this year?

Me:  No, lots what that came from.

Wifey:  Bring it on.

Wifey opens the gift and then opens her mouth wide and gasps.

Wifey:  You're kidding, aren't you?

Me:  Never been more serious in my life, girl.

Wifey:  If you think I'm going to redeem a gift certificate to have my nipples pierced and you get off unpierced and scot free you've got another think coming big boy.

Me:  And your point is.......

Wifey:  You'll get pierced too . . .and I make the call where.

Me:  I'm game....name the area....nose ring?

Wifey laughing..........

Wifey:  Nope.  Scrotum or foreskin. . . make the choice.  I'd love to lead you around by your nuts or dick.  If you don't then I am not going there.

Me:  Shit.  Give me the certificate.  Maybe I can exchange it for a tattoo........just for you.

Wifey:  Gawd Bob, don't you ever learn.  It's about time that you get it.  No piercings.  No tats.  Just me.

Me:  I don't want to get it.

So much for early Christmas presents.