Okay Already!

Wifey:  Your blog post yesterday was disgusting.  I guess anyone who reads your blog knows that once in a while there will be something offensive posted on it.

Me:  That wasn't offensive.  It was all about what was enough.

Wifey:  That was enough offensive.

Me:  Gee, it only showed cleavage. What's offensive about a little cleavage?

Wifey:  Ah, a little cleavage?  That's the whole enchilada, Bob.

Me singing, "I gotta be me!!!  I GOTTA BE ME!!!"

Wifey:  Okay already.  Enough is enough. . . .

On another less offensive subject, here's the two Poms, Zeenie on the right, Kiri on the left, playing tug-of-war. 

There's a lot of posturing and growling . . .and a lot of stare down.

For this game Zeen came out as the winner.  It's about a 50/50 split on which dog comes away with the toy. 

Isn't it nice that this post is so clean, so wholesome and so lacking in cleavage. 

Damn, how I hate minding my manners.

HOW MUCH IS ENOUGH?

Okay, okay...get a couple of things out of your head.  I do not cruise porn sites and I did not pick this photo up on my own.  A FRIEND SENT IT TO ME!

And the friend, knowing how I think added to the e-mail:  Hey Bob!  How much is enough, buddy?!"

The poor girl.  How does she get around with a rack like this.  Heck, we're talking disability here.  If she doesn't have back problems they be just around the corner.  These puppies must weight in at least 15-20 pounds a piece.

If these boobs are enhanced just what was she thinking?  I'd love to come across this chick in Walmart.  She would no doubt be blocking the aisle.  I'd have to say, "Miss?  Your boobs are in my way.  Mind moving them to the side, please?"

When it comes to boobs how much really is enough?  Anything more than a handful is what my buds used to say......geeze, what's here is more like a wheelbarrow full.

Ya think?

The Way We Were

Dining last night at our favorite restaurant.  Me looking on purpose stupid.  I think that the waiter just brought the tab for five meals.  GULP!  Wifey looking her usual happy self. 

Wonderful evening....one of the best. 

This is the way we were.  She happy, Bob looking stupid.

Sailing Music

I'll play this one while sailing.  I can hardly wait to get Sparkle Plenty back in the water and do just that. 

Like Only Yesterday

It's our wedding anniversary today.  Seem like only yesterday when Wifey proposed.  She said, "We're getting married or else."  Wifey popped the question (made the ultimatum?) during a drive up the coast on Highway One to her parents home for Thanksgiving dinner. 

I was driving.  She was riding.  The least she could have done was get down on one knee, look deeply into my eyes, pull out a ring and say, "Oh my darling man, who's my life's project, will you marry me?"

Well, I said, since you put it that way . . . get married or else . . .that's an offer that I cannot refuse.  I definitely didn't want to suffer the consequences of "or else" meant but it seemed that no marriage equaled Bob being dumped.  Didn't want to lose my tall, long legged, bright spirited, redheaded woman.

As the story goes I said yes and the two of us were married several months later.

Marriage is not a bed of roses.  You learn to take the bitter with the sweet.  Give.  Take.  Compromise.  Grin and bare it. 

Looking back years later on that Thanksgiving day drive up the coast there's only thought in mind:  Damn good decision to accept the lady's proposition of marriage. 

Tonight it's an Italian dinner out with family and friends.  We'll speak to the memories and thoughts of what we'll do between today and our next anniversary.  Privately Wifey and I will take time to share personal thoughts on our relationship and what we mean to each other.

It's all good.  Ya think?

How I'd Spend New Year's Eve

You really didn't come here for culture and sophisticated thoughts, did you?

How's That Working' Out For Ya?

Once in a while I ask Wifey to look like Sarah Palin.  Today she did.  I'm all smiles.  It's time for games.

In an intimate moment Wifey might say, "How's that woodie working out for ya?"

And in an other intimate moment Wifey might shout out, "YEEEEEYOWWW!  I CAN SEE RUSSIA!"

Or, "Damn you McCain, wrong place!"

I love voting for Sarah Palin cause it's sooooo bitchin' when I stuff the ballot box. . ..

Just for the record, Wifey says this blog post sucks and that there's absolutely no truth to what's written here. Well hell yeah, that's exactly what this blog is all about.
Ya think?

Don't Take My Kodachrome Away!

Today's San Francisco Chronicle:

"The photography show is called "The Last Kodachrome" but the last Kodachrome images aren't in the show. They are still in Pat Willard's Nikon camera.

They will have to come out by next week because the last lab in the world that processes the famed color film, Dwayne's Photo in Parsons, Kan., is discontinuing it at the end of the year. The last rolls to be processed must be there by noon, Dec. 30. After 75 years, all that will be left of Kodachrome is the Paul Simon song, and a state park named after it in Utah.

There will still be a sister film called Ektachrome, but Willard, a fine art photographer in Redwood City, is not buying it.

"I'll probably do only black and white," he says, lowering his tone to a funereal whisper. "There's no color like Kodachrome."

When the Eastman Kodak Co announced that the last rolls were hitting the shelves, in June 2009, Willard bought 40 rolls, at $8 apiece, and stuck them in the fridge of his townhouse in Redwood Shores. Then he contacted Ann Jastrab, director of Rayko Gallery, proposing a juried exhibition for Kodachrome prints.

Fifty photographers nationwide, plus a few from Canada, northern Europe and South Africa, sent in portfolios. Twenty-one photographers were selected and 45 prints are in the show, which opened Dec. 17 and, after a Christmas break, will reopen Jan. 4. Included are four prints of Willard's abstract expressionist work.

The other day he was compelled to sit on the couch of his townhouse and describe his love affair with Kodachrome.

"The color balance is what I like," he says, after thinking it through. "It's warm and voluptuous."
High maintenance, though. Unlike other color film, Kodachrome starts as black-and-white film. Color dyes are added in the lab, like printmaking, which is why you can't develop it at home.

"It's the most complicated film there is to process," says Todd Gustavson, a curator at the George Eastman House, in Rochester, N.Y. Dwayne's in Kansas is the last licensed processor, and doing 700 rolls a day, twice its average.

Introduced in 1935, Kodachrome was the first commercially successful color film, says Audrey Jonckheer, manager of worldwide public relations for Kodak film. Derived from motion picture film, it has always been developed in slide form and coincided with the rise in popularity of the slide projector.

"It had a color saturation that is unmatched with any other slide film or with digital," says Lou Dematteis, a San Francisco freelance photojournalist who has 10 pictures in the Rayko show, more than any other contestant. "Kodachrome I shot in the 1970s is still as vibrant as it was when I first processed the film."

Dematteis had to switch to digital because that's what all the news agencies use. His book "A Portrait of Vietnam," published in 1996, is Kodachrome, but his follow-up on Ecuador, "Crude Reflections," 2009, is a mix of film and digital.

"I show it to people, and if they are in the know, they will look and say, 'That's not digital. That's Kodachrome.' "

The last roll Kodak manufactured was given to Steve McCurry, who shot the famous Kodachrome image of the green-eyed Afghan girl that was on the cover of National Geographic in June 1985. Last spring, he used up the roll in New York City and India, and the prints will eventually be on display in 2011 at the Eastman House museum.
Pat Willard's own last roll of Kodachrome won't be displayed anywhere. He's putting it in a glass case to display on his mantel, right next to his antique Argus C3 camera.".

I ask, what next in this life?  What next?

Fleas On My Dad!

Wifey decided to take a yoga class the other day leaving me to mind the home fires, the dogs, the soup on the stove simmering and grandchild Gracie.  She knows better than to leave me along with the kid.  When it's the two of us I always fill her mind with senseless stuff. .. you know, kind of like the things on this blog only rated G ----for grandchild. 

Me:  Hey Grace, Like Christmas music?

Grace:  Sure do.  I love Christmas music.

Me:  Then you've probably heard a song titled Fleas On My Dad.  It's a famous Christmas song.

Grace:  Fleas On My Dad is a Christmas song?

Me:  You bet.  Everyone sings it during Christmas.  All the stores that pipe music in play it.  It's on the radio and TV, too. 

Grace:  Sing it for me.

Me:  Better yet, I'll get the song on YouTube and we'll sing it together.

So here it is.  Sing along with us.  FLEAS ON MY DAD!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Grace's First Solo

Christmas Sex

I once read that a fairly large percentage of older adults, younger, too.... have sex only on holidays or special occasions.

Like Christmas, Thanksgiving. .. maybe Fourth of July.....how about Halloween?    It's nice to know that visions of sugar plums are not the only thing that is dancing around in peoples heads this time of year.

Hohohohohoho!

Ohhh, Wifey....it's Christmas and you know what that means!!!!

Merry Christmas y'all!

Silent Monks Singing Halleluia

ISS Crew Sends Holiday Greetings to All

What Once Were Vices

What once were vices are now habits.  Think I'm kidding?  Check this out.  It's good for a laugh.

It's The Economy, Stupid!



The doorbell rang a few minutes ago.  There on the doorstep was a little girl of about seven years of age.

"Would you please help our family out for Christmas and buy this bag of oranges?"

I noticed her brother who looked like 8 or 9 was working the other side of the street. .. while dad waited in his black four door Saturn complete with bike racks on the back of it.

Lots of people fall on hard times especially in this new century we're living.  There seems to be more and more families who need both a hand out and a hand up.

I asked the little girl to wait.  It didn't take long to find five crisp one dollar bills.  I handed them to her, took the bag of oranges and wished her a Merry Christmas. 

She didn't say a word in return but dashed off to where her dad was parked to pick up another bag of orange colored fruit.

For whatever reason this family needed to sell oranges door-to-door.  I'd like to think in a small way that my five dollars helped them a little bit.  After all, 'Tis the season..............

Too Little Too Late?

This Christmas it has to be organic . .. as it was for Thanksgiving when I grilled a free range, antibiotic free turkey.  Next organic meal for the holiday season is grass fed, free range beef. ... a 6 pound NY strip roast.  Not a lot of fat just tender, tasty beef.  Expensive but well worth it if only for the taste.  Grass fed beef hands down is so delicious when compared to corn fed beef.

Lately the wife and I have attempted to buy organic, pesticide free farm products.  Vegetables, fruit. . . even prepared, canned food.  Buying locally grown food has also become a priority.   Then there's the quest to only eat low sodium, low and/or non saturated fat food. 

We probably should have been eating like this all along.   To some degree we have but it's not been one of those all out 100% efforts. 

It's likely whatever we eat in the realm of "good for you!" food is a matter of too little too late.  But setting an example for the rest of the family is probably a good thing.  Children learn what they live.

Ho ho ho!

Early Christmas Gift

Me:  Alright if I give you an early Christmas gift?

Wifey:  Is this the only gift I'm getting this year?

Me:  No, lots what that came from.

Wifey:  Bring it on.

Wifey opens the gift and then opens her mouth wide and gasps.

Wifey:  You're kidding, aren't you?

Me:  Never been more serious in my life, girl.

Wifey:  If you think I'm going to redeem a gift certificate to have my nipples pierced and you get off unpierced and scot free you've got another think coming big boy.

Me:  And your point is.......

Wifey:  You'll get pierced too . . .and I make the call where.

Me:  I'm game....name the area....nose ring?

Wifey laughing..........

Wifey:  Nope.  Scrotum or foreskin. . . make the choice.  I'd love to lead you around by your nuts or dick.  If you don't then I am not going there.

Me:  Shit.  Give me the certificate.  Maybe I can exchange it for a tattoo........just for you.

Wifey:  Gawd Bob, don't you ever learn.  It's about time that you get it.  No piercings.  No tats.  Just me.

Me:  I don't want to get it.

So much for early Christmas presents.

Spike Jones - Mommy wont you buy a baby brother 78 rpm

This and That

Today was a little of this and that.

Mostly it was that.

I'll smiling when it's 3 p.m. tomorrow.   Will have done "That" .

Then I'm gonna get shit faced happy and get on with my life however imperfect it is (was or will be).

Samantha James - Waves Of Change (Richard Grey Remix)

TOO MANY SMART PEOPLE!!!

That's what is wrong with the world today.  There's too smart people and they're who are causing all of the problems.  The economy.  Pollution.  War.  You name it, the smart people made it happen.

It's all contained in this video:

Good, Bad or Irritating

Is it a good day or is a bad one...or is the day just chock full of irriations?  As anyone how their day is going and it's likely that they'll say it's good knowing that if their response is anything other than that an explanation will be in order.

How ya doing?

Oh, fine.

or,

Good.

A really good day for me is usually hitting every green light at the dozen or more intersections that need crossing to get from point A to B.  Damn I love that feeling.

The frosting to an irritating day would be to hit a fricking red light at each of those intersections.  That happens more often than I wish to admit.  Why do I hate to stop and go.

I think calling a day as being a bad one should be reserved for the terrible, the unfortunate, the OMG happenings in life.  I've had several of those this week and it's not been good.

Tuesday:  A close teacher friend succumbed to cancer at age 60. 

Thursday:  The father of another close teacher friend succumbed to cancer.

The family of my teacher friend has asked me to eulogize their loved one.  This is going to be a tough one . . . I wonder if I can hold it together long enough to deliver a 20 minute eulogy.  I'll do my best.

There have been good days this week and ones that have been irritating sprinkled with lot of bad in between each of them. 

There's still two days left in the week.  Fingers crossed.

Shots With Bob?

Well, if you don't mind a grown mind doing this then sign me up to do shots with ya....

It's one of my favorite stupid things to do in public.

Who's Standing By You?

A video worth watching . . . multiple musicians in multiple locations. 

I wanna be Chaz playing the washboard.  One of my life's ambitions just added to the bucket list.

Okay Okay!! I Like Christmas!

Do You Yelp?

Have you heard of the Yelp internet service? 

Here's a description straight from Yelp:


Yelp is an online urban city guide that helps people find cool places to eat, shop, drink, relax and play, based on the informed opinions of a vibrant and active community of locals in the know. Yelp is the fun and easy way to find, review and talk about what's great — and not so great — in your world.

Is Yelp free?
Yes! Other than certain advertising features, you can use the site for free.

Who uses Yelp?
You'll find a wide range of people on Yelp, including locals who are "in the know" about what's cool and happening in their city, visitors who want to get an insider's local perspective, and anyone trying to find a great local business.

Anyone can write a review or add on a review to existing reviews. 

Yelp even has ratings for places in Cowtown like this place called the Tropics. . . a dive bar located in a not so pretty (or safe) part of town.  You gotta love their neon stuff.  So retro.

I write reviews that I post on Yelp.  Surprise, surprise!  In case you're interested here's the link to the reviews I've written.  It's all Bob if you get my drift.

Check it out.

http://www.yelp.com/user_details_reviews_self?userid=9xOYCvhGh-e4kEXLjyZkRg

You Are Cleaning That Up!

People who don't clean up after their dogs are on my shit list.  Yeah, how about that . . .anyone who doesn't pick up their dogs poop should be on everyones shit list.  How very appropriate.

There's one freaking person in our neighborhood who walks their dog every day.  And every day their dog poops on the sidewalk and it is not cleaned up.  It's like this dog doesn't poop one pile . . . there's about a half dozen or more large poop balls all along a 150 foot or more stretch of sidewalk.  We're not talking a small pup. .. it takes a large canine to poop these babies.  And this dog can't just take one poop.    Would I ever love to catch that idiot leaving piles of of his dog's poop on the sidewalk.  So would a lot of our neighbors. 

So yesterday I'm at the computer.  I can see the front lawn from where I sit.  Along comes a couple with a little Chee Wow Wa.  They stop in front of our house.  The dog strolls onto our front yard grass and casually takes a major small dog crap like it's on its own turf.  At that very moment I'm thinking about Clint Eastwood growling, "Get Off My Lawn!" and want so badly to open the window and shout just that.  But I sit in my chair at the computer and wait for the owners to pick up the poop off of my lawn.  I think, they will clean up after their dog, won't they?

So the small dog who craps like a St. Bernard finishes what seems like an endless poop.  I'm thinking how can one little dog poop so much.  What the hell do its owners feed it anyway? 

Finally the dog moves off the lawn and the owners start to walk away.  The Clint Eastwood in me comes on strong as I head to the front door.  Damn, I'm seeing red and boy am I pissed.  The nerve of some people to allow their dog to shit on my lawn and then walk away.....   Before the dog and its owners can get very far I fling open the front door with major authority and yell out with major MAJOR authority, "YOU ARE GOING TO CLEAN THIS UP, AREN'T YOU?!"

They look and meekly reply, "We were going to do that but don't have anything to clean it up with.  We'll be back."

Yeah, right you were, you worthless SOB's.

Me:  "You bet you'll be back.  I'll be waiting." 

Slam!

I know where these idiots live.  If they didn't return to clean up their dog's shit I was prepared to eat major Mexican, 3 Polish sausages, 7 hardboiled eggs that evening and accumulate one nasty bowel movement.  Next day before dawn Bob was going to crap major Bob crap on their lawn and leave another pile right by their front door.  That would fix them big time.  A Bob calling card would be the gift that keeps on giving.  Hohohohohoho!  'Tis the season, don't ya know?

Lucky for these clowns they returned shortly and cleaned every speck of poop off of the lawn.  They're no fools for they surely know that hell hath no fury than Bob's lawn pooped on and left.

Grrrrrrr.

Dog owners who take their dogs for walks without a poop bag should be shot on sight.  And I'm just the guy to lock, load and pull the trigger.

You bet your sweet ass.

After the two idiots cleaned up the poop wife looks at me and smiles, "They're lucky they cleaned it up, aren't they?"

To which I replied, "Wifey, you know me too well."

And that's the name of that tune.