VALENTINES DAY MOVIES

Okay, nice chicken dinner, outstanding white wine, ready for a good old sweetheart, love story on the television last night.

Spin the dial.

Cinemax: Brokeback Mountain.

Me: Geeze, Brokeback Mountain is playing on Cinemax for Valentine's Day. You'd think they'd play something hetero tonight.

She: What do you mean?

Me: I don't like the content. It's just not me. How about a girl meets boy, boy gets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back film?

She: Brokeback Mountain is just not about what you think. It goes deeper than that.

Me: Deeper than that? That's what I'm afraid of.

Spin the dial again.

HBO was playing the Vagina Monologues.

"Hello? Anyone in there?" Is that how it goes with this film? I passed on watching the Vagina Monologues, too.

What would a film called the Penis Monologues be like? It would be about as stupid as talking to a vagina.

"Hello Dick? How are things?"

Click. Off went the television.