What About Bob?

2012-02-17T08:15:00.000-08:00

Happy Marriage?

2012-02-16T07:18:00.000-08:00

Do Good?

It's not like I don't bring Wifey flowers every so often. I do. Usually two to three times a month there's a fresh bouquet with her name on it. Wifey loves fresh bouquets of flowers. When Valentine's Day rolls around the usual bouquet won't cut it. It would b so same old, same old.

Come February 14th a floral arrangement out of the ordinary is in order. This year it was a dozen yellow roses. Do good?

Kiri, being a female, is always interested in flowers, too. But that's only because this dog will eat, chew, consume anything organic. Nothing is sacred, not even the wood trim around a few the doors in the house. Yup, they've got chew marks. Nothing serious that can't be glossed over by our friends the painters.

It was only natural then that Kiri check out of 2/14 vase of a dozen roses. Apparently the yellow long stemmed flowers were not to her liking as the arrangement was left intact. Now that's a first.

2012-02-15T08:23:00.000-08:00

Mardi Gras

It's that time of year again when the crazies get even crazier. Have you ever been to a New Orleans Mardi Gras? It's on the bucket list but not very close to the top.

These ladies have the right idea. If you're going to New Orleans and want to show your boobs why not have fun doing it. Six boobs . .. or as the saying goes, there's safety in numbers. Hahahha. Wonder if these gals made it into a Budweiser commercial?

2012-02-08T15:26:00.000-08:00

Idiot Drivers

I'm not against technology. I love it. But when you're driving, drive! Nothing pisses me off more than to sit a stoplight that turns green and the car in front just sits and sits and sits. Gee, guess what they're doing? I love my truck horn. One blast ----a long one, the driver of the car in front of me pees their pants and off they go.

People that want to do more than driving while they drive should either stay at home, pull over and do their hair, their makeup, slap the kids, text their BFFF, scarf that burger/chug that drink/munch those fries and take that blow job off the road and not while driving (for pete's sake!). People definitely cause those of who who do none of those things problems. . . .like crashing into unsuspecting, law abiding folks.

The fine for texting while driving should be as much as it is for running a redlight. I'm talking 500 bucks, first offense. Second offense a thousand bucks, judge gets to stomp the hell out of your I Phone or Me Phone, . . . whatever the hell they're called, right there in court. Third offense it's jail time and assignment to a chain gang who breaks rocks with a sledgehammer all day PLUS! no cell phone or text privileges for a year. Kind of like drunk driving after you've been cited three times for one toke or drink over the line. Gotta teach these law breaking bastards somehow so why not taking a lesson from the Tough Love people. Get-um where it hurts.

Well shit, the ACLU and the liberal fart knockers would have my butt for breakfast (if I were king of the USA Obama style). My deal would never fly. It would be killed in the high courts as being so very cruel and so very not politically correct. The latter would be Bob. Ya think?

Oh, and don't forget to honk if you love Jesus. You know what to do if you want to meet him.

2012-02-06T14:02:00.000-08:00

On Second Thought

NOTE TO SELF: Put aside the idea of opening a burger joint. Open a theme based bowling alley. Yup. I be naming it Politician Alley. Images of assorted politicians would be pasted above the pins.

An advertising gimmick to get people to the lanes would this: STRIKE A BLOW FOR FREEDOM! ---every strike brings a free glass of beer. That ought to bring scads of people. Only thing (don't say anything but) the free glass of beer would actually be a 3 ounce papercup filled to the brim. Can't go broke over serving free beer or send drunk on their ass bowlers out driving the street of Cowtown.

Or this, KNOCK THE TEETH OUT OF YOUR FAVORITE GOON! And, ROLL A 300 GAME AND GET YOUR IMAGE ABOVE THE PINS!

Stuff like that.

My, oh my, how I dislike Obama. I just might keep his image up over the pins until he's out of office. Hopefully that's sooner and not later. Likely there will be a lot of pissed of Re-public-cans wanting to take out their frustrations. Bowling at my place just might save lives or save mixed marriages (defined as a republican married to a democrat).

Ya think?

2012-02-03T09:21:00.000-08:00

Re-Gifted

Who thinks of this stuff anyway? Do they really do what's they're advertised to do?

Wanna stand out in a crowd? Wear a pair of these puppies next time you grocery shop. Put on a shirt. You'll be the topic of conversation at many dinner tables.

The perfect gift for your not so favorite friends. Also a gift that is most likely to be re-gifted....over and over and over again.

Looks like this pair had been marked down to two bucks. Wonder why......

2012-02-02T13:15:00.000-08:00

Never Too Late

Check my title for this post. Note that I've corrected used and spelled "too". How many people would have written 'NEVER TO LATE"? Pee poor spelling is a pet peeve of mine. Okay, one of my thousand pet peeves. I'm easily irritated. So what?

I've always thought I'd love being in the restaurant business. Even though I hate being around people the thought to go into that business is ever pervasive. The more I know about people the more I love my dogs. Yup.

I'd cook and wash dishes. Wifey would be the public relations, stay in front part of the business. She loves people. Loves to chit-chat, small talk, ask questions and so on. We need people like her and less of people like me.

But if someone brought in one of my flyers, I'd go out and give that person a high five and a knuckle bump just to show them I can be one hella of a guy when I want to.

The menu would be all about burgers and not much else. Like the Obama burger. Ground beef mixed with bullshit. Lots of onions to make you cry (like we're all crying for a new president).

Pee Wee Herman porno burger: Burger patty with mini weenies.

Bill Clinton burger: Cigar shaped patty with creamy Monica dressing.

Gringrich burger: Patty mixed with ground up Ex-Lax. Make ya feel like a real poop just like Newt is feeling right now.

Fire in the Hole burger: Lots of hot sauce mixed into a patty, topped with hot peppers, onions. There will be fire in the hole for you, pal.

This is just a sampling of what the menu would be like. There would be a burger for everyones taste.

I may not make a million bucks but there's bound to be a lot of laughs and lots of new friends (or enemies).

2012-02-01T14:37:00.000-08:00

Wind!

Closing scenes from the movie Wind, directed by Francis Ford Coppola. It depicts the last race to decide who will hold the American Cup. Fiction but pretty damn realistic. Many sailors will call this the finest film ever about the sport.

There's nothing like salt water sailing. Nothing.

2012-02-01T14:19:00.000-08:00

Lounge Mode

Today was lunch with a group of friends, one who said, "What happened to your blog. You have not written since January 18th?"

Nothing has happened to it. As for me, I've been here, there and everywhere. Busy. Not sitting here writing.

To help write this entry I put on Pandora, my internet music favorite. Dialed in their Lounge Mode radio station which fits my mood. Cool stuff.

Readying the sailboat for a late March/early April launch. New windows. Replaced most of the boat's running rigging. New canvas hatch covers. Hunt down that persistent stern leak that brings water into the cabin (small amount but enough to be irritating). Empty and clean the porta-potty (oh, my, how I hate that). Repair the galley faucet (stopped working... needed a rebuilt kit). Prior to launch wash and wax, repaint parts of the hull below the waterline. Always something.

Then there's:

Reading.

Listening to music (spinning old vinyls on the turntable).

Organizing income tax information for our accountant.

Keeping the home fires burning.

Walking the dogs and playing catch.

Helping around the house. Cleaning. Cooking. Etc. Has to be done.

Running errands.

Pretty easy stuff.

One more thing. .. blood pressure. Working it down little by little. Looking good.

I could have written during the dry spell. Mostly my posts would have been about my disgust with our politicians, the GOP choice of presidential candidates, California's financial plight, the tragic state of our public education system, idiot drivers who free style behind the wheel instead of following the law and exercising even a little bit of civility/common courtesy. See what you missed?

I really should write more. I enjoy it. The only difficulty is making time and finding a topic that interests me enough to write about.

I guess I'm back (again).........

2012-01-18T11:21:00.000-08:00

Baby, It's Cold Outside!

It's nearly noon, 40 degrees outside & damn cozy inside. It's start to rain (finally) and feels like it might snow. Winter has finally hit Cowtown. Last week it was 70 degrees, t-shirt weather.

Okay, okay, so it's not as cold as a lot of places. I've lived there, froze to death (nearly) working outside in 30 degrees below zero temps with 25 mile an hour winds that took the temp even lower which further aggravated the misery by snowing cats and dogs. 200 inches on the average a year. Meow! Woof! These days I'll take 40 degrees and love every minute of it.

Pictured here is the woodstove stoked with dry oak, which provides more than enough heat for most of the house.

Off topic and onto a sore subject, blood pressure: Under control but not where it should be. Low/no salt, low/no fat diet has in recent years been one of the household's golden rules, even more so now. While yours truly is active, more exercise is in the plan of remediating this problem.

Like honey mustard dressing? Wifey prepared this last night and it is a definite keeper:

1 large shallot, minced

1 tablespoon Grey Poupon

2 tablespoons red wine vinegar

1 tablespoon honey

2 table spoons olive oil

1 tablespoon water

3/4 teaspoon course cracked pepper
combine all and serve.

Wifey doubled the recipe to make certain there's enough for another night's dinner.

2012-01-15T09:02:00.000-08:00

How Much Is Enough?

If you've closely followed how the man in the Oval Office conducted himself while in office, you'll agree that a new president is badly needed.

Broken campaign promises.

Over-stepping his authority.

Smoke screen after smoke screen of secrecy (while promising transparency during the '08 campaign).

Over spending the Federal budget by billions (another campaign pledge promising spending less towards reducing the deficit).

One goal was to rid Washington of lobbyists. Ha. That's a good one.

When one of America's most classified drones (the latest with the greatest) crashed intact in Iran, he asked, pretty please, if they would be so kind to send it back. . .. when it was a no brainer to call in a drone strike to destroy it. Now Iran has hardware to use again its enemies.

Another goal was to work with both parties in the Senate and Congress towards engendering a spirit of cooperation. Ha.

Need I go on. There's many more reasons why this man needs to be voted out of office in the name of public good. If you plan on voting his way, you really should do your homework on the havoc he's created.

How much is enough?

2012-01-12T06:58:00.000-08:00

The Cure Might Kill You

Yesterday I was all a-glow with the onset of much lower blood pressure. That was early a.m. Come mid morning your blogger friend was bleeding out of both ends. Yup. Blood.

As a young pup back in the day, when there was a cut on a finger, leg or whatever I'd go screaming into the house, I'M BLEEDING BLOOD! I'M BLEEDING BLOOD! BLOOD!!!! I'M BLEEDING BLOOD!

Mom, being a less than compassionate person, "What did you expect to bleed anyway. When you bleed there's blood." Okay, duh. .. I get it, mom.

I called the family practice guy (you know, the jack of all trades, master of none dude) who said, through his nurse (didn't want to personally talk even though he was standing by the phone) to stop the new medication, go to the lab for tests and make an appointment for Monday. I did all of that.

By noon there was no longer blood in the urine or stool so it was safe to once again cautiously smile. Whew.

Now you'd think given the cirumstances that the jack of all trades/master of none would have called later in the day or early evening. You know, just to check up to see how I'm doing and if I'm bleeding to death. Nope. I'm thinking that (a) He didn't want to speak personally on the phone and (b) No call to check on me equals: What's wrong with this picture?

This is not to say that telephoning a patient after the fact is an unusual practice. The last visit to the ER after the head being banged bi time by the sailboat's boom (gotta watch those jibes ... they can be killers. .. real knockouts), brought an evening phone call by the attending physician to see how I was doing. That's an ER doc with lots to do and people to see yet had time to ring me up.

My dentist calls when there's been issues/pain/I'M BLEEDING BLOOD! deals. Nice guy who follows up. Means a lot.

My jack of all trades doc is a pup. Wet behind the ears. Came with glowing recommendations. Nice guy. Everyone says he definitely knows his shit. But I'd have to add to all that that there's an exception: His bedside manner sucks.

I have to think since there's no follow-up that he's the kind of guy who leaves his dirty socks and shorts in a corner in the bedroom. .. leaves the toilet seat up with no regard for his wife and daughters, leaves a 10% tip even when service in that fancy restaurant is outstanding, and irregularly visits his patients who he had hospitalized. You now the type.

At this juncture, given the resolve of whatever it is that ailes me, there's the distinct sense that I should move on to another physician. Yes.

Changing docs is nothing new. I go through them. Take my first Cowtown physician. I was out of there after the first rectal exam. No comment on why.

Second doc: Lovely lady. Damn, she was the best. Really. But the chick had to go and divorce her husband. The smoke of the divorce had hardly cleared when she hooked up with a drug sales rep (yes, 2 and 2 still make 4) and left Cowtown with him to live in another state. Drats!

Third doc, also a female: Whoa, bad news chick. Too serious but that's okay for someone you're trusting your health and life to. It all got down to her not renewing a prescription unless I had a blood panel done. I'd been on this particular pill for well over 15 years and never, ever had any of my physicians made such a demand. As most of you well know, no one and I mean no one tells Bob what to do. Follows orders and other people is not a Bob thing.

On that day I was in for a yearly exam and the demand she made was off the get-go. After her statement I buttoned up my shirt, put the tie back on and said, We're done here . .. and walked out.

Fourth doc: Great guy. Was just getting to know him after 3 visits when he decides Cowtown was not for him and left town.

Fifth doc: A family friend with a clinic. Short term with limited services. Good person to fill in the gap until I found the next physician. Actually, this guy recommended number 6.

Sixth doc: That would be who's attending to me (or not attending) now.

Time for the seventh doc. Ya think?

TMI? I just had to vent.

The photo? Of a pond around the corner from the house. Nice trail around it that's paved. Wonderful place to walk the dogs. Lots of water fowl. An abandoned beaver lodge still sits on the lake. Fish. Mostly quiet. It made for a great walk with the dogs following the I'M BLEEDING BLOOD! deal yesterday.

I needed that.

2012-01-11T08:02:00.000-08:00

More Photos

Our girl has quite the eye, doesn't she? Two more photo candidates for the student art show. Hard to pick just one.

The rigor in fourth grade just escalated. Four nights a week Grace is to read a chapter in two books, write a summary for one and prepare for a next day test on the other. Then there's spelling words to study, math quized to correct, multiplication tables to learn and start planning to build a replica model of a California mission (every 4th grade kid does this). Whew!

Yesterday we helped Grace with the first assignment of reading and summarizing. She's a quick learner and in no time will complete these type of assignments easily.

These photos were taken last week in the backyard.

Okay, new meds: Did they do anything. I'm smiling cautiously. Yesterday's average on meds was 101/59 which is pretty damn good. The medication pamphlet explains that the drug relaxes arteries in easing the flow of blood. This is funny. Most of my life I've been anything but relaxed....tense, stressed, driven. It's most logical that the arteries need relaxing. Ya think?

Why the caution? Still still to be determined is the cause of my high blood pressure or will I be like many middle age adults and remain medicated for the remainder of my "tour of duty."

At ease, Bob!

2012-01-10T09:17:00.000-08:00

Photos By Gracie

The student art show is coming up at Gracie's school. Sunday she used one our cameras to snap photos around the house and in the backyard. Here's two that stuck my fancy as being out of the ordinary and "artsy". The first photo is of Zinnia. Surprising that she allowed Grace to get so close with the camera.

Here's Kiri, wet eyes and all. She's on allergy meds but nonetheless her eyes weep.

I'll publish more of Grace's photos over the course of the week. You make the call come the end of my series of blogs which would fare well in the student art show.

BTW: Last year Grace won first prize in her grade level.

Oh, and my blood pressure. It remains over the top awful. New meds starting today will hopefully eliminate this problem.

Here's hoping.

2012-01-06T10:07:00.000-08:00

Get One

NOTE: This post is not meant to elicit pity, concern, anguish or what have you. I'm not complaining or bitching, either....I'M JUST SAYING!

I had hoped that the next visit to my physician was for having an erection that lasted more than 36 hours. Okay, I heard what you said ..."in your dreams, Bob". Yeah, I'm dreaming.

Unfortunately, the visit to the old family doc was for blood pressure that was way over the top. And I mean wayyy over the top. Like the kind that makes for strokes, heart attacks and not for erections lasting more than 36 hours.

A while back I bought one of these knowing that the old BP had to be creeping up.    It just felt that way. I eat fairly healthy. Okay, maybe 75% healthy. Never smoked (but once in a while inhaled). Exercise. Do all the stuff the TV ads say one should do once we reach the ripe old age of 39.

But ya know, it's nearly impossible to eat healthy in this culture. Really, it is. Unless you cook everything at home. .. eat organic, eat nothing salted, eat most things that grow in the grown and don't have eyes and walk on four legs (and sometimes two) you're gonna stop up those little tubes that run through out your little bitty body.

It's the salt. It's the fat. It's a whole bunch of things that clog, choke, strangle arteries. Given a lengthy time on this earth, which I've enjoyed, eating even an once in a while fast food dinner, pizza, chicken wing, steak dinner. .. or whatever, is going to catch up with you. Genetics figure in here somewhere whether this becomes an issue or not .. .like I'm pissed off being of Europeon descent which translates into cracker colored skin that is also fair game for skin cancer. Damn, I wish dear old dad had been someone of color. Italians eat everything, don't they? Olive oil. Pizza with everything on it. . .. you name it.  Don't they like live forever?

Okay, the monitor. Good thing to have around the house. You got one of those bread machines? Same thing. A blood pressure monitor is something like that. . ya gotta have it. It's an appliance. A must have.

So, two days ago I'm not feeling so good. Like I'm feeling stuffed, like a balloon that's going to pop. Light headed. A bit dizzy. So I think I'm going to save 100 bucks by not going to the doc and haul out the machine, hook myself up and HOLY SHIT. ... I'm freaking dying here. . . blood pressure enough to propel a rocket to the moon!

Over the next couple of days I take the pressure and write down each reading. Never good. Always high. I wonder if I should go to the ER. .. am I gonna stoke out? Which I really don't care if I do as long as it's a done deal, lights out, dig the hole and put me in it. It's stroking out that puts me in a chair drooling for the rest of my life without enough strength to put a 38 in my mouth and pull the trigger. That would be hell on earth. Have a friend who was placed in a home last week and it aint' good. Can't feed himself. Can't talk. Shits and pisses himself. He would have never wanted that. Actually, who would want that?

When I visited the doc this morning I was ready for the big one. I always expect the worst. .. you know, booked into a hospital suite, rolled into surgery, a saw ripping the middle section of the chest open to expose the heart, having a tube stuffed up my dick, blood drawn every hour on the hour.... if you've ever been hospitalized and had surgery, you know the drill.

To my surprise this guy deals with the elevated blood pressure levels like it's no big deal. Prescribes something, tells me to call in 5 days if the levels are the same or higher (what if I'd dead, I wonder). If the medication is not working the doc says he'll prescribe something else.

What's interesting and causes some concern if that there was no mention of don't eat this, eat that, get in and have your blood drawn, avoid strenuous exercise and no monkey sex resulting in 36 hour erections. Hmmmm, was he having a bad day and didn't feel like talking or worse yet, doing his job? Maybe I should find about family physician.

Well, I know what to do: change the diet even more that it has been changed avoiding salt like the plague. Fat has pretty much gone by the wayside so no worry there with one exception: that damn nightly scoop of ice cream. That has to go. Damn, and so do chicken wings, pizza with cheese and all the toppings (read a suggestion to cut the fat/sodium by asking for no cheese and go vegetarian toppings). Canned tomatoes for my pasta sauce have to go (too much salt - check the labels), canned beans used on our salads are loaded with salt.....the list goes on and on. All this said, who ever said that life isn't about making adjustments was absolutely spot on.

Am I worried? A little. .. enough to be cautious and focus on what needs to be done. Diet. Exercise more than usual. Cut down on the monkey sex and 36 hour erections that glow in the dark.

As for you, buy one of these little gadgets. The small unit that attaches to the wrist is 50 bucks on Amazon. Deal. Sooner or later you're blood pressure will be over the top (yes it will, believe it) and you will have wished that you had made adjustments to your lifestyle sooner and not later and used this little gadget to monitor your progress.

And now you know the rest of the story. Good day.......

2011-12-31T13:15:00.000-08:00

2011-12-30T07:27:00.000-08:00

Party Like It's 1979!

We headed for a New Year's Eve party where the theme will be Soul Train --- It's A Disco Party. Dress appropriately, the invitation says.

Cripes, I'm thinking we'll be dancing like this:

Time to dig out the bellbottoms, the 'Fro wig, the tight sweater (gotta bound up the moobs first), and high heeled sneakers.

For those of you didn't experience the 70's, it was one hell of a good time.

2011-12-30T06:50:00.000-08:00

Winner Winner

Wednesday evening was Winner, Winner, Anniversary Dinner! Yes, another year of maritial bliss for me and Wifey. Well, most of the time it's like that. ... name one marriage that's perfect. .. can ya, can ya can ya?

Dawn and Keith dined with us at our favorite Italian place.

We've known the restaurant owner for quite some time. Knowing that we were celebrating an anniversary, our owner friend ordered up a dessert gift of cherries jubilee.

Step one: heat up the cherries.

Step two: Add some sort of hooch.

Then the damn thing goes up in flames. Freaks me out. I crawl under the table yelling, FIRE IN THE HOLE! FIRE IN THE HOLE! DUCK AND COVER!!!! DUCK AND COVER!!!!

I calm down, crawl out from under the table and find a dish of ice cream and cherries waiting for me. Yummmmeeeeee!

During dessert Wifey opens my gift of a pair of gold earrings and reads the wording on the accompanying card out loud.

The front of the card read: "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! You know, the secret to a happy marriage is how often you say those three little words."

Betcha can't guess what those three little words are. No one at the table could.

Wifey opened the card and read this: "Let's eat out."

And now you know the secret to maritial bliss . ...

2011-12-23T17:47:00.000-08:00

2011-12-23T14:18:00.000-08:00

2011-12-23T14:13:00.000-08:00

2011-12-23T08:00:00.000-08:00

'Tis The Season

This was the week for Gracie's school to put on their holiday performances for their parents. This school year Grace joined the school's beginning band program with the trumpet as her choice of instruments. I've never thought of our girl as being one to toot her own horn.

Damn thing is nearly as big as Grace. Beginning band students are given simple songs to learn like Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

Grace's class also performed several choral pieces. As you can tell, some kids get into belting out a tune while others don't.

Sign-ups for the school play are in January. Looks like our girl is going to try out for a part. Music and performing seem to be in her blood. Wonder who she inherited that trait from?

2011-12-22T07:49:00.000-08:00

All In Your Head

What's printed above is especially true this time of year. We're all thinking of holidays like the story book families on TV have. Ozzie and Harriet. The Waltons. Beavis and Butthead (hahahaha). You've seen them. You know what I'm saying.

Time to wrap your head around what's best for your family and create your own traditions. Break the mold. Do your own thing.

Instead of that family gathering where mass consumption, pig out/stuff your face until you puke holiday dinner, do this:

First thing, let the relatives do their own thing and take care of themselves. Vow to leave the television off. Then redefine, if for only one year, how you celebrate the holidays:

Get out of the house. Take a walk. See a movie. Feed the birds. Hand out dollar bills to the homeless (from the money saved from putting on the fancy dinner). Have a drink at a bar located on skid row (makes you count your blessings). Pack a picnic basket and go for a long drive. Have friends over for a holiday meal. Play a few board games. Walk in the woods or along the beach. Do a nature study in photos.

Etc.

Do I practice what I preach. Amen, brother. I do, I did, I will. Yes, Wifey and I have done all of those things that are listed here (including getting a speeding ticket on Christmas Day while taking that long drive in the mountains).

Time to get that picture out of your head of the way things should be and reinvent your pattern of living. Routine can be boring. Even a speeding ticket on a holiday (cops have no mercy) can be exciting.

Ya think?

2011-12-22T06:48:00.000-08:00

2011-12-21T10:13:00.000-08:00

Anniversary Song

Next Wednesday marks Wifey's wedding anniversary. .. yeah, and mine, too. I've a surprise for her. We'll be out to dinner. .. wining and dining and celebrating. A person with a guitar will appear at our table right before dessert is served. He'll start strumming and I'll sing this song:

Ain't that just about the most romantic anniversary song you ever did hear? Huh, huh, huh?

Wifey is either going to love it or die of embarassment. That's Muskrat love for ya.

2011-12-21T07:19:00.000-08:00

Suicide By Fast Food

The way people scarf down fast food knowing well what it's doing to their bodies it makes one think they all have a major death wish. You've heard of death by cop. ... someone who taunts law enforcement into shooting them as an act of quasi suicide. Same deal with fast food junkies. .. . taunting Burger King, Wendy's, KFC and the like. ... thinking . .. Go ahead and kill me, man. ... I dare you. See if your grunts will make me die. ...

That burger up there? You just have to ask yourself how much is enough? Double patty. Double cheese. Bacon. Mayo. Well over a thousand calories and many, many grams of fat and sodium. Way more than just enough. Tasty? Yeah. But "tasty" could be had with a lot less of everything. Hold the mayo, bacon, cheese, one patty instead of two, hold the fries and soft drink (water can and does quench thirst). Bingo. Still something tasty from a fast food joint but a lot less of what chokes the arteries and puts weight on.

Fast food places come up with the damnest things which really go against the grain of being healthy. Take this number concocted by Denny's. It's a bacon sundae with ice cream and maple syrup. Yikes! End a high fat/calorie/sodium meal with that and brother, you're way over your limit of daily intake.

Forget hitting Denny's and expect to order this one. It's been taken off of their menu.

Next time you think of scarfing down some fast food think first before ordering: You are what you eat.

2011-12-20T12:34:00.000-08:00

Summer 2012

Do not click on Trailer Cats. .. let the video run......

Holy cow puckie, Batman!!!!

2011-12-20T06:57:00.001-08:00

2011-12-19T13:23:00.000-08:00

Paul Newman Is Hud

With Wifey out shopping Saturday night, it was Home Alone Bob's choice of dinner and a movie. I just love date night with my little old self.

Round Table pizza (thin crust, pepperoni topping).

The 1963 Paul Newman film, Hud. Probably the third or fourth time I've seen it, the most recent being five or more years ago.

In the film Newman has a line that rings true even today.

"This country is run on epidemics, where you been? Price fixing, crooked TV shows, inflated expense accounts. How many honest men you know? Why you separate the saints from the sinners, you're lucky to wind up with Abraham Lincoln. Now I want out of this spread what I put into it, and I say let us dip our bread into some of that gravy while it is still hot."

Timeless. Priceless.

If you subscribe to Netflix on Demand it can be yours tonight. Better order your pizza ahead of time.

2011-12-17T14:10:00.001-08:00

2011-12-17T08:59:00.000-08:00

Tough To Say No

Wifey and Grace visited our friend and Pom breeder Trilvie yesterday. The two partners in "crime" wanted to check out an 8 week old dog that Trilvie feels is show dog material. What cutie!

On each visit Grace lays down on the floor with one of Trilvie's pups. This is what always happens. Lick, lick. .. giggle, giggle, lick, giggle, lick. ... and so on.

It's tempting to bring another dog in the family which would make for a three dog night (if you remember what that is, you're an oldie but probably a goodie). Three dogs makes for more dog food and an addition to an already expensive vet bill. I'm happy but two but hells bells, who could refuse a cutie like this?

It was tough to say thank you but no thank you.

2011-12-16T14:34:00.000-08:00

Global Warming Protest!

This just in: Hundreds Gather To Protest Global Warming!

2011-12-16T09:59:00.000-08:00

Coooookeeee!

Remember the Cookie Monster on Sesame Street. Get me around cookies to be baked or that are baked and it's COOOOOKEEEE! time for Bob. Whether cooked or not, I'm into COOOOOKEEE!

Yesterday Wifey, Gracie and her step-sister Hanna whipped up a whole bunch of of COOOOKEEEES!

Grace's mom is out of town for several days so the girls spent the night making that the perfect time for COOOKEEEE! making.

The "ladies" must have made 3 or 4 dozen cookies or more. Once out of the oven and cooled, the girls wrapped a half dozen or more into packages then set out to deliver each one to our neighbors.

Hanna's proud of her works of COOOKEEE! art.

Wifey's thinking (and I know her well). .. .what the hell did I get myself into?

2011-12-13T16:01:00.001-08:00

Christmas Music

I just love this time of the year. Harmonizing is my bag. Here's a sample of my singing.

2011-12-12T09:52:00.000-08:00

Christmas Music

From me to you. . .. Merry Christmas. Let's all sing-a-long, please.

2011-12-10T09:35:00.000-08:00

Knew Better

I knew better than to mess with perfection but oh, no, I just had to try another way of preparing stuffed peppers. It was a recipe from Emeril Lagassy that caught my eye and had me thinking out of the stuff pepper box.

The end result was crap compared to what I've prepared for so many years . .. a recipe that goes way back in my family. I'll stick with that.

At least this batch made for a pretty picture.

2011-12-09T07:54:00.000-08:00

Free-Style Driving

Have you noticed that very few drivers obey the laws of the road and do their own thing? This used to pee me off, watching drivers run stop signs and redlights, make abrupt lane changes without signaling, apply make-up, eat, text, pet their dog. You know what I'm saying.

You've watched athletic events where there's a category for free-style. Anything goes. That's what driving in America or at least California has become. .. one big free-style event. I should start carrying those Olympic rating signs. You know the ones. Like they're numbered 5.0, 5.5, 8.0. .. all the way from 1 to 10.

When some clown pulls a free-style thing I'll rate the dude, pull up one of those signs, start honking the horn and hang it out the window. Why not put a little fun into something that irritates the hell out of you and I (you do following the rules of driving, don't you?).

There should be warnings on cars where their drivers always put on make-up, eat, and what have you. We need to be warned, don't you think? Those are drivers to steer clear of. Like: Caution - Driver Chugging Beer! Or, Lookout! Driver Throws Chicken Bones Out The Window!!

There's a lot to be said about multi-tasking in the world we live in today. But do we have multi-task while on the road and endanger other drivers?

2011-12-06T14:00:00.000-08:00

What's Right With This Picture?

Have you ever seen a photo in a magazine or newspaper that asks, "What's Wrong With This Picture"? Here I'm asking, What's Right With This Picture? So, what is right?

Give up? Do ya, do ya, do ya?

Right thing #1: I'm wearing my wedding ring. Yes, that's the ring Wifey put through my nose when we married. Wifey had to tame Wild Thing Bob somehow and this was actually the first right step in that direction.

Right thing #2: Buy one get one free. There was a restaurant in town which gave away one meal with a paid meal if you wore your through the nose wedding ring. Got a lot of free meals.

Right thing #3: Right you are: This is a school picture. It was taken during my brief tenure as a public school teacher.

Right thing #4: Yes, my students loved my wedding ring and yes, the photo appeared in the yearbook. Since I was the dare-devil darling of the school and community, I could do no wrong and got away with just about anything. Besides, who ever got into trouble for wearing their wedding ring. Usually it's the other way around. . . getting in trouble for NOT wearing that ring. I did have to convince the school photographer that it was okay to wear that thing for a photo.

Right thing #5: Putting this photo on my blog. Don't ya just love it?

2011-12-05T07:58:00.000-08:00

You Left Your Heart Where?

Long ago crooner Tony Bennett claimed that he had left his heart in San Francisco. At 85 years of age, old Tony is going strong and singing that tune.

Apparently Tony has taken on the brush as a second career. Painting Lady Gaga is one of his latest "works of art". Hells bells, butt naked painting . . . . it's one way to get a young lady to take her clothes off. . .. and at 85, why else would anyone disrobe for old Tony. At best, Tony Bennett can muster a "heart-on", some brush strokes, a few tunes and not much more.

Maybe the lyrics to that old song could be revised to, "I left my heart-on, with Lady Gaga. . ... "

Ya think?

2011-12-01T15:46:00.001-08:00

2011-11-30T06:28:00.000-08:00

Sleeping Beauty

We stopped in Weed on our way home from the Oregon coast. It was time for a splash of diesel and lunch. When I stepped out of the truck I could not help but pause to admire the beauty of Mt. Shasta . .. the sleeping beauty of Northern California. Why a sleeping beauty? While not an active volcano, one never knows what surprises Mother Nature has in store for us. Yes, Mt. Shasta sleeps but one day . . .

Yeah, there's a place called Weed, California, just off I-5. Nice little town. Small, just under 3,000 residents. T-shirts with phrases about the place sell like hotcakes.

The town of Weed gets its name from the founder of the local lumber mill and pioneer Abner Weed, who discovered that the area's strong winds were helpful in drying lumber. And believe me, the wind does blow in Weed.

2011-11-29T13:07:00.000-08:00

Love Shack

Thanksgiving this year amounted to a five hour drive to the Oregon coast. We've spent a lot of time vacationing in Oregon. Spending the holiday seemed like a good idea.

Here's our camp. Not too shabby, eh?

I pulled the LOVE SHACK onto the beach around 2 in the afternoon in the midst of a major wind and rain storm. Gusts up to 50 miles an hour. . . cats and dogs coming down in buckets. Braving the elements was a whole lotta fun getting the trailer off of the hitch, leveled, stabliized, utilities connected and most important of all . . . get the satellite dish positioned just right (142 degrees southwest, elevation 36 degrees) . . . cause I was ready for some football . . .only after peeling off the soaking wet clothes. Man, was I cold and wet.

Even though it was storming, Wifey managed to roast a turkey breast. We had planned on grilling it outside on the Weber but hells, bells . . . winds over 50 miles an hour and buckets of rain do not a cookout make.

Damn, that was good.

We camped next to a marina that was home to the local Coast Guard station, a number of fishing vessels, a fair number of sailboats and pleasure craft. It was enjoyable walking the each of the many docks and check out each boat. Here's a retired vessel waiting for restoration as a museum piece.

Here's what the Coasties are using in its place. Makes my blood run wild just thinking of how fun it would be to skipper that puppy over major surf.

Then there were the walks on the beach. Wifey and Zeenie are looking a bit wind blown.

An old dog trying to teach young dog Kiri some tricks as well as orienting the young pup that sea water is not worth sipping.

I'm out of focus here. Maybe Wifey was just thrilled that I was willing to have my picture snapped and got all excited hence the fuzzy photo. Last Friday it was prime rib night at the local Elks Lodge and we just couldn't miss that!

I snapped a photo of Wifey working (working?) at the computer and then said, Smile, damn it! And she did. . . and here it is, Wifey smiling.

Then there were the sunsets on each of the 6 nights spent camping. Oh, the sunsets. . . .

We've lived in many places but our most favorite was living on the California coast. The salt air. The sound of the surf. Fresh seafood. Seagulls crapping on everything (yeah, even that I miss). Beachcombing. And oh, the sunsets.

Wifey? Same time next year?

Cute video... watch the whole thing:

2011-11-27T12:13:00.000-08:00

2011-11-21T15:44:00.000-08:00

Pacific Ocean Thanksgiving

Tomorrow two dogs and the wife saddle up with Bob for a ride to the ocean. 6 hours from Cowtown is a beach in Oregon with our name on a parking space in an RV park. 7 days worth of RV parking, rain or shine, we'll be there.

This said, wind gusts to 45 miles an hour, surf between 15 and 30 feet predicted tomorrow and Wednesday for this area. And that's not to mention the buckets of rain being promised, too. What the hell, go low and go slow. . . . one way or another, we're gonna get there.

You looking at photos of our last visit. We were parked in space 81 then and space 81 is our for this next visit.

Ocean out the back door. Pounding surf at night.

Great place to give thanks for all of our blessings (and curses, too).

2011-11-21T12:54:00.001-08:00

2011-11-19T07:26:00.000-08:00

Pass Da Spuds!

Being of Irish heritage, it's tough not to have potatoes with most every meal. Hash browns, country spuds, fried mashed potatoes for breakfast. French fries with a juicy burger, hot beef or turkey sandwiches with mashed potatoes for lunch. Baked potato, mashed potato, hells bells, how about raw potatoes (ever eat one raw with a little salt)?

Thanksgiving without at least a couple of yams to go with the turkey . .. but better better, good old mashed potatoes. Meat without potatoes? No way!

2011-11-18T14:22:00.000-08:00

2011-11-18T06:57:00.000-08:00

Unconditional Love Sucks

You've heard the term Unconditional Love. This means that no matter what a loved one does you accept them for who they are. Accept, defined in my book, is putting up with their bullshit. Unconditional love is bunk.

I recently offed a couple we had friended. They were sucking the happiness out of me. The relationship was all about what the wife and I could do for them with nothing coming back our way. Give, give. . .and more give. .. finally, I got it. Enough was enough. Don't get me wrong. Nice people. Takers but not givers. Maybe they were not so nice after all. No time for these types. Life is too short.

Then there's a few relatives. No names and no identifying their relationship to the wife and I. Let's just say there are several who are no longer in our circle. In a nutshell, they are users, whinners, takers, finger pointers, abusers, and narcissistic.

If there's a point in this post it is about how much is enough. When you've had enough of someones personality do you douse your feelings with the unconditional love deal and let it slide? Or, do you listen to the little voice in your heads that seems get louder with every contact of "that person". .. the voice that is saying, "Enough is enough!"

Life is too short to put up with anyone who sucks the happiness out of you.

Think about this at your Thanksgiving dinner table when that asshole friend or relative of yours has once again ruined a family holiday and sucked the happiness out of the day. How much is enough?

2011-11-13T12:26:00.000-08:00

Ever Had That Feeling?

2011-11-11T06:59:00.000-08:00

I Served

Like I had a choice. .. . which I didn't.....but at the end of my tour of duty it all worked out for the best. Older. A bit more educated. Experienced. College bound.

Did you serve? If not, how have you served our country in other ways and furthered or supported our democracy? Do you even vote?

The cornerstones of what America was founded upon are crumbing.

2011-11-09T09:18:00.000-08:00

While We're On The Subject

The real Warriors of Rock and Roll:

There's something to be said about a woman of color wearing a fringe top.

2011-11-09T08:22:00.000-08:00

Bob's Assisted Suicide Clinic

After my gig as the DOUCHE OF EARL! I'll need another source of income. Those Baby Bombers are coming of the age where they'll need to reckon with the piss poor habits they've lived with since the 60's. They're blown out their livers, bladders and cancer-ated other parts of their bodies. The Bombers will be looking for an easy, painless way out. BASC or Bob's Assisted Suicide Clinic will be there (for a fee, of course) and just the ticket for that last trip out of Dodge.

There will be an menu of options to choose from depending on what each Baby Bomber will want for an "end".

Like these:

Option #1 Tickle 'Em To Death:   Basically, the patient is placed on a slab, shoes and shirt/blouse removed. Tickle the feet. Tickle the pits. A funny way to go.

Option #2 Scare 'Em To Death: Also known as scare the shit of someone. Lead the patient into Bob's Assisted Suicide haunted house. The boogie man lives there as does Jack the Ripper, Chucky and Jason.   A scary way to go.

Option #3 Screw 'Em To Death: Also know as fuck their brains out. This option might be just the ticket off of this planet for former presidents, CEO's, and other celebrities who couldn't ever keep it in their pants. Last all night porn stars would man the Option #3 station. This would be an exhausting, sweaty, orgasmic way to go.   The Baby Bomber would really have to work on this one.

Option #4 Look Mom, no hands!: A circus tightrope walker would escort the patient to either (a) to a big top circus tent and up onto the highwire or, (b) up the cables of the Golden Gate Bridge then instructed to walk the wire or the cable with their hands tied behind their back. A banana peel will be strategically located somewhere along the Baby Bomber's path. Oooops!

Option #4 For God and Country: Here's a patriotic option for ya. Strap the patient around an Inter-Continental Ballistic Missle (ICBM). Aim that puppy at one of our non-friendly nations (and there's a bunch to choose from). Or, place the patient on a large bomb loaded into a B-52. Fly to an altitude of 60,000 feet, open the bomb bay doors, release the bomb and ride that puppy Slim Pickens/Dr. Strangelove style. Either way, the patient is going out with a bang!

Gross? Not nice? Hells bells.....somebody has to do it.

Almost forgot..... for free of charge, a certain Rolling Stones song will be played at just the right moment for the clinic's most special of guests:

2011-11-07T12:45:00.000-08:00

Douche of Earl

I'm taking my act on the road. It's called Chef Watsoni, The Douche of Earl. I'll make a grand entrance much like Gene Chandler. Sing a bunch old songs and do some new rap/hiphop shit. The Douche of Earl will be first on the song list. Then I'll cook some food on stage, maybe some barbecued ribs or those snails with stuff packed in their shells. Pass it all around. Scarf and barf y'all. . . .that's what I'll tell the crowd. Scarf and barf y'all!!!

Hell of an act. Everyone will want to dance and eat with the Douche of Earl. Who wouldn't want to? Are ya in? Coming soon to your city. Watch for it.

2011-11-04T06:51:00.000-07:00

So, Sue Me!

Okay, so the blog hasn't closed yet. So, sue me. Enjoy this place while it's still open. Put your feet up. Stay for a while. Can I get you a beer and a couple of wings?

The poster here is a bit out of focus. Come to think of it, so am I.
Old junior high school joke while we're on the subject of the guide posted here.
Know how to make a hormone?
Don't pay her.

Hahahahahahaaaaaa, LOL, LOL and all that crap!

2011-11-01T15:47:00.001-07:00

Shutting This Blog Down

6 years.

1,800 posts.

Enough.

2011-10-31T13:31:00.000-07:00

Time to Write: Quack! Quack!

File this one in back of your mind under IMPORTANT!

Had I lived by this "rule" things would be a hellalot different today. Married to the same woman. Check. Different profession. Check. Etc. And you?

I quack a lot as in quack, quack, quack! Don't ask why I just quack. A couple of years ago I crowed a lot like CAW! CAW!! CAWWWW! If I couldn't find Wifey in the mall I do a couple of CAW CAW CAWS!!! and she'd show up post-oh-hast-oh.

That's all changed. Now I just waddle around the house going "quack, quack, quack". Damn, I just love it. Quacking like a duck has brought new reality and reaffirmed who I really am.

You know the saying. .. If it walks like a duck. ... if it quacks like a duck. .. and if it looks like a duck....

IT MUST BE A DUCK!

QUUUUAAAAAAAAAAACK!

And that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

2011-10-24T15:44:00.000-07:00

Time to Think Costumes

Bet these two were wiped out by the end of the evening. Ya think?

Are you dressing up for the festivities? I'm thinking of doing something middle Eastern like dressing up like one of those suicide guys. Dressing like that should make me the center of attention where ever I go. Might even get some free drinks and food . ...at the jail.

2011-10-23T10:48:00.001-07:00

One Of Those Lazy Sundays

2011-10-22T14:35:00.000-07:00

Your Kids?

Type B personality kids are being produced by Type A people. Why? Hour upon hour in front of the TV. Then there's lots of computer time. Need I mention video games? Next time you're visiting friends who have kids, check out what's available for their leisure reading. They're brainless. Passive. No drive, little ambition. You reap what you sow. .. .it's all about endless hours doing basically nothing.

Get this. A friend who knows grandaughter Gracie asked what she could get for her upcoming birthday.

Wifey: Head over to B and N and buy a book appropriate for her age group . .. like 9 to 12 years of age.

Friend: She already has a book. I want her to have something fun.

She already has a book?! In our home Gracie has well over 50 hardcover books, most of which she's read. Grace could always use and would love another. . .. and another. .. and another.....

I think that's how many others look at what kids need: If they have one book why buy another? Forget seeing that they have books in their hands that engender critical thinking skills and that challenge the imagination. Forget there's vocabulary building in each and every book. But don't forget that we live in a world that thrives on texting and e-mails that are full of misspelled words and abbreviations. .. LOL, IMHO, WTF!. .. etc. In the midst of all of that, does anyone know the difference between and the proper use of: your and you're . . or to, two and too? It's safe to assume that all know how to use the term LMFAO!

Well, I'm laughing my fucking ass off over any of this.

The Far Side Cartoon here .. .. means this: The road to hell is always paved with good intentions.

If you think our world and government is a mess now, just you wait and see when the Type B kids rule the world. . . the ones who have been raised on a steady diet of food with no nutritional value, who have spent the majority of their waking hours not communicating directly with anyone other than texting and e-mail, but who are primarily proficient in video gaming and knowing the plot of each and every Twilight episode.

Thank you, parents!

2011-10-21T15:03:00.000-07:00

At A Loss For Words?

Just in case you're lost for words. . ......

Happy weekend!

2011-10-20T14:12:00.000-07:00

And The Cow Jumps Over The Moon

Things that go bump in the night. Here's one. Sometime last night there was something that went bump. It looked like this around 7:00 a.m.

A deer, feasting on figs from the tree seen here apparently thought that the figs were better on the other side of the fence in the process taking out most of an 8 foot panel of fencing and a little bit of hedge.

No blood, only fur. I hope it was worth the trouble, Ms. Deer.

A trip to the lumber yard and a couple of hours later this portion of fence looked like new. . . because it was.

2011-10-18T06:17:00.000-07:00

Rogue's Gallery

In August the Parks Service at Whiskeytown Lake asked for photos of "summer fun" on the lake. I sent in several: One of me at the helm of Sparkle Plenty and Gracie in the carbird seat, the other of Wifey reading inside the boat's cabin. Just before Labor Day one wall of the visitor center was adorned with photos of summer fun.

Top row, front and center shows the boat tilted to one side and two sailors hanging on.

Wifey took these photos but chose to not snap the photo of her reading. Why? I have no clue. You can find this photo in an earlier blog post made sometime this summer.

2011-10-17T12:08:00.001-07:00

2011-10-17T07:15:00.000-07:00

Dry Dock

Yesterday was the perfect autumn day to haul Sparkle Plenty from the lake. You could not have asked for better conditions.

Here's me (ladder), son-in-law Keith (bow) and son Scott securing the mast.

Keith is showing how skillful he is in catching a bridle I tossed to him. The bridle attaches to the mast and is hoisted. Another line is attached to the bridle and to a strap on the trailer winch. The line is tightened to relieve pressure on the headstay (holding the mast to the bow). A pin holding the headstay is taken off. The mast is then lowered.

It goes without saying that there are always adjustments and things that so sideways instead of straight up. Here's one of them.

One of Grace's classmates and her family (grandmother Helen and mom Sherry) turned out to watch. Gracie's helping her friend Kendall up onto the boat while I stand by in case she slips.

Shipmates!

Ain't they cute?

Now that the boat is parked in the RV spot alongside the house winter repairs, upgrades and shine can take place. There's always something needing done. New windows. Replace the headstay. Touch up the bottom paint. Drain the outboard motor oil and put in fresh oil. Replace one of the two on board batteries. Replace the gas tank valve. Re-wire the three mast lights. Etc. Etc. Etc. Wax top and bottom. Put back in the water March or April.

2011-10-14T07:34:00.000-07:00

2011-10-14T07:02:00.000-07:00

Haulin' Her Out

About this time every year whoever controls lake water levels starts dumping a bunch of it. This is in anticipation of lots of rain. A lower lake level translates into the ability to take on lots of run-off. It also means not a lot of depth for pulling a keel sailboat onto a trailer.

Check this photo out: During the summer months the ramp is level to the dock. It's anything but that today. And they've just started releasing more water than what's taken in. Now is the time to haul the boat.

Come Sunday, that's exactly what will happen.

Day before yesterday Wifey and I went sailing. She loves to get action photos. I'm scanning the horizon looking for shallow areas to avoid.

The rest of the time, while motoring to our fav sailing area, I relax.

Ain't life grand?

Oh, the W on the hat? It stands for WAHOOOO!

2011-10-12T16:24:00.000-07:00

Smell My Feet!

This brings thoughts of a variation to, "Treat or treat! Smell my feet!! Give me something good to eat!!! I'm thinking this guy is a plumber. Ya think?

Someone asked just the other day what I was going to be for Halloween. Being Bob is like Halloween every day of the year. . . my response to the question.

Do people in prison dress up for Halloween? How about soldiers fighting in the Middle East? Perfect opportunity to dress up like the dudes fighting on the other side and party hardy with 'em. Who know . . . maybe something like that would lead to ending the war(s). Think cops dress up? Okay, they might say, who wants to dress up like the bad guys and carry around an AK47?

I never wear a costume on Halloween. Maybe a couple of times but mostly never. It's for kids. Isn't it?

2011-10-11T08:18:00.000-07:00

It's In My Blood

Sailing a catamaran gets in your blood. Having sailed a cat for well over 20 years I can honestly make that statement. There's nothing like being at the helm of a multi-hulled sailboat. Literally, they're the "hot rods" of sailing.

Here's a video of America's Cup racing trials in Plymouth, England which was completed just this past month. Elimination and/or match racing will continue in San Diego.

2011-10-10T15:37:00.000-07:00

Typical Bob

Watch through the first credit roll (otherwise you won't get it).

2011-10-10T08:15:00.000-07:00

October 10th

On this day and barely 18 years old, many years ago, in Oakland, California, I was sworn into the United States Air Force. It was a matter of go in or be drafted. Mom said it was a good thing I enlisted as it was her humble opinion I'd either die an early death or receive a lengthy prison sentence . .. yes, Bob was one wild child. Mom wasn't always right but in this example she probably was.

October 10th. How could I ever forget this date which brought a life changing experience.

After our physicals at the induction center and interviews we waited for a bus to take each group to the airport. While we waited I guess the idea was to set the hook so no one would change their mind and run off. We were asked to stand and raise our right hand so that the oath of allegiance would be administered. There were around 30 other guys raising their right hand. All were headed for boot camp. Some Air Force, many Army (draftees), a smattering of Marines, some Navy and a couple of Coasties.

An Army sergeant administered the oath of allegiance. When he finished he looked over at the Air Force group and asked, "Know what U.S.A.F. stands for?"

Huh? Well yeah, it stands for United States Air Force. What else?

The sergeant got that shit ass eating, lifer in the military grin on his face and said, "Nope. Now that you've been given the oath it stands for U SURE ARE FUCKED!"

Not funny.

The photo here was taken on my selection as Airman of the Quarter. I did some stuff that the base commander thought was worthy of this honor. The public relations officer taking the picture for the newspapers asked me to smile.

Me: "I'm only smiling when I'm discharged from this man's air force. Until then, this is what you get."

The enlistment was for four years. Three years, ten months, twenty days later I was released for an early out to attend college. I was smiling big time.

The rest, as they say, is history.

2011-10-09T08:51:00.000-07:00

All Fall Down

This morning's paper brought the news that Roger Williams had passed on at the age of 87. Wow! Was he really that old?!

You might remember Roger and his rendition of Autumn Leaves. Naturally, I had to check out Roger and Autumn Leaves on You Tube this morning. Fitting, I thought, that Roger should pass away in the fall season when there are so many autumn leaves.

Of course, the next song that came to mind was California Dreaming. . . .as it begins with "all the leaves are down"......funny how word association works the mind.

Off to walk to dogs and enjoy the California autum leaves.

Happy Sunday.

2011-09-28T15:43:00.000-07:00

How Did I Get Here?

Wifey and Grace on Monday frosting a birthday cake for Gracie's dad Scott.

After spending several minutes looking at this photo an old saying that forever haunts me popped up into my mind once again: How did I get here? If you knew my born on the other side of the tracks history you'd understand.

And of course, that's related to this:

2011-09-28T15:34:00.000-07:00

Dirty Dancing

When romancing the bone takes hold of my senses, there's no choice but to indulge Wifey in a little foreplay. ...

It begins with a little dirty dancing . .. cheek to cheek. . .. twirling, dipping. . .. all around the patio deck. .. . wonder what the neighbors think? Who care? Not me.

This one:

2011-09-26T07:36:00.000-07:00

Phantom Ship

Another photo I snapped at Crater Lake. It's of an island named the Phantom Ship.

As the story goes, when a fog settles over the lake the island resembles a ship sailing through the "soup".

I guess you have to be there to believe it.

2011-09-24T05:18:00.000-07:00

Space Junk

There's been a lot of hype about this particular piece of NASA equipment falling out of orbit and crashing somewhere on earth. That happened last night with its splash down somewhere in the Pacific ocean. You can relax now.

I found one reader comment this morning in a newspaper article on this subject that made me smile:

"Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if a piece of space junk should whack my ex before I wake, I'll praise the Lord and bake a cake."

Damn. I just love a good sense of humor albeit off the wall, don't you?

2011-09-24T05:10:00.000-07:00

Are You Going?

2011-09-23T06:59:00.000-07:00

Wild Blue Yonder

Yeah, it's been a while since I've sat and composed a piece for this place. There's something about getting away. .. off into the wild blue yonder that breaks the cycle of civilized man. During the week in the Cascade mountains we were without Internet or e-mail, and cell phone communication. The RV park did not have cable TV nor was there any television reception via antenna. Cut off from the world and loving it. . ..

Well, almost cutoff. Don't ya know that Bob has to have his sports, news and entertainment? Yup, he does. The RV has a satellite dish. . .. so much for being isolated. 500 channels of unadulterated media bullshit. Ahhhhhhhh, loved the vacation in the mountains. Loved it.

Crater Lake was a bit overcast due to forest fires caused by lightning strikes. 1,900 feet at it deepest level, Crater Lake is number one for depth in America with second place to Lake Tahoe at 1,500.

Wifey wanted to pose for a photo and she did.

Then Wifey wanted me to pose, too. Put one foot up, she said. Put a hand on your knee. She should have said, strike a pose that's unnatural, Bob! You can see here that I'm so very happy to (a) strike a pose and (b) have a photo taken. Two of my most unfavorite things. Grrrrr.

So then Wifey had to get the freaking dogs into the posing act. Let's put them on a rock, she said. They'll love it. I didn't like being posed and the dogs didn't either.

If you've never visited Crater Lake do it. Take the boat ride around the lake (we did several years ago). Worth the trek from the rim to the boat dock (easy going down, not for the fragile coming back up). Million dollar views. Priceless.

And there's a place nearby to buy trinkets and food, too! Where else can you find a sandwich that goes for 3.99 anywhere in the USA but sells for 9.50 at Crater Lake?

Don't ya just love capitalism?

2011-09-10T14:32:00.000-07:00

September 11th

September 11th. Here's where the two of us will be. Crater Lake, Oregon. 1,900 feet in depth. The deepest fresh water lake in America. Ninth in the world.

Both of us will sit here for a moment of silence in rememberance of those lost on this day ten years ago, those who were lost in the years after and those who will lose their lives in the days to come.

We'll never forget.

Here Wifey sits during our last visit to Crater Lake in 2006.

We camped at Diamond Lake and we'll camp there again tomorrow.

It was 108 in Cowtown yesterday. .. a record with an overnight low of 80 (that's a low?!). Today a little after 2 in the afternoon it's 105 and headed toward another record heat day. Spending tomorrow night in the Cascade mountains with a predicted low of 40 degrees puts a smile on my face. From buck nekked sleeping to long john Bobby. . . .wow!

As the song goes, what a difference a day makes. . . .

2011-09-10T13:13:00.000-07:00

I Feel The Need. . . the need for SPAM!

SPAM has been around since Christ was a corporal. Forever and a day. SPAM was served as a side dish at the Last Supper. I'm kidding? Nope. SPAM is mentioned in the Good Book. Check it out.

As a young lad I was taken hostage by my mother and step-father and held for ransom in Anchorage Alaska. If you know anything about Alaska or better yet, lived there, you know that food stuffs we take for granted in the lower 48 is in short supply up north. Back in the day when supply lines were less than sophisticated, this was especially true. Meat, eggs, fresh vegetables and fruit, and dairy products, if they were available, were and arm and a leg expensive.

Spam, salmon burgers/meatloaf/casserole/etc., and powdered milk was what was for breakfast, lunch and dinner. While many look at salmon as a delicacy, I see it as being one step above what's served for those in solitary confinement . . . about as bad as a diet of bread and water. Yuck.

At the supermarket last week it was a surprise to find that SPAM is no longer just SPAM. It's SPAM Hawaiian, SPAM Garlic, SPAM BBQ. . . and so on. Hmm, I thought, after all these years out of Alaska, this new shit might be kind of tasty.

After checking the labels for fat content (regular and unleaded plus saturated), I settled on SPAM Lite which is lower in fat and sodium than your run of the mill can of this stuff...still bad but not nearly as bad as it could be.

What brought this new appetite for SPAM was the planning for a camping trip we'll be taking this next week. The thought of an open campfire, eggs in the frying pan with a side of SPAM just sounded hella lot good. This scenario is so unusual and out of character that the wife says she will be snapping a photo to include a can of SPAM held alongside my face.

If SPAM was eaten at the Last Supper then I might as well have some on what might be my last roundup. After all, altitude does kill people younger and older than I. Dining on SPAM at 7,000 feet might be considered risky business.

I've noticed that SPAM is served all over the place. Popular in Asia, it's served in more places than not in Hawaii and for probably for the same reasons it was served big time in Alaska: Supply and demand. .. and its price. Can't be all bad.

I've packed my can of SPAM along with the other food we're taking along. Burgers one night, chicken the next, steak, meatloaf, and turkey. No telling how I'll work that can of SPAM into the menu. SPAM and eggs is sounding mighty good but then so does a SPAM burger.

You know the old saying: WHAM, SPAM, THANK YOU MAM!

2011-09-07T06:24:00.000-07:00

Leave it to the Americans

A spacecraft circling the moon has snapped the sharpest photos ever of the tracks and trash left behind by Apollo astronauts in their visits from 1969 to 1972. Yup, trash. Leave it to the Americans to be the first to liter the moon.

Images taken by NASA's Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter from 13 to 15 miles up show the astronauts' paths when they walked on the moon, as well as ruts left by a moon buggy. Experts could even identify the backpacks astronauts pitched out of their lunar landers before they returned to Earth.

Two years ago, images from the same spacecraft from 30 and 60 miles out showed fuzzier images. But this year the orbiter dipped down to take about 300,000 more close-ups. The trails left by the astronauts are clear, but the places where backpacks were discarded, Apollo 17's moon buggy, and the bottom parts of the three lunar landers are blurry.
After 40 years there does not seem to be much moon dust covering the manmade trails. NASA thinks that it will probably take about 10 million to 100 million years for dust to cover them.

2011-09-06T07:08:00.000-07:00

Sidewalk Chatter

So I come home from sailing last week and there on the curb sits this chick chattering into her cell phone. Strange. There's always people out walking in our neighborhood but never this.

I snap this photo just outside the garage for what reason I frankly do not know. Well, blog material, now that I think about it.

She sits for a while then lays down flat on her back all the while blah, blah, blah . . . . Talk about uninhibited.

I really didn't keep track of what she was doing or when she left past taking these photos but I do know that she was on the curb, laying down, etc., for about an hour.

Maybe there's a new law that requires people to not walk and talk at the same time. Or, maybe this lady can't walk and chew gum at the same time?

Ya think?

2011-09-01T07:47:00.000-07:00

Dirt Clod Fights

As a young lad. who spent half of his growing up time in Fresno California, it was a necessity to walk to and from school. It was a mile and a half there and the same distance back home which gave me and my friends plenty of opportunity to get into mischief.

Our most favorite pasttime were dirt clod fights with other kids. The fights usually began as we walked past freshly plowed fields with clogs ripe for the picking.

Dirt clod fights were cool until someone tossed a clod containing a large rock (some by accident with many on purpose) rang the recipients bell. This meant all out war and the clods would fly.

We gather a bunch of clods and continue to toss them well past the plowed fields. When the clods ran out we tossed dirt. Dirt. Gotta get up close and personal when there's nothing left to throw but dirt at your "enemy".

Sometimes the other side still had ammo . .. lots of clods left which out gunned thrown dirt. When this happened we lost ground and hightailed it home.

Funny what sticks in your mind after so many years have past since those childhood walks to and from school. What still rings true is the lesson learned about throwing dirt. When you throw dirt you lose ground.

Do I need to draw a picture? You know what I mean.

Think about it.

2011-08-31T07:28:00.000-07:00

A Rose By Any Other Name

Roses in Wifey's garden. Always beautiful.

From Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, 1600:

JULIET:

'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;

Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.

What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,

Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part

Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!

What's in a name? that which we call a rose

By any other name would smell as sweet;

So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,

Retain that dear perfection which he owes

Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,

And for that name which is no part of thee

Take all myself.

2011-08-30T11:49:00.000-07:00

2011-08-30T09:44:00.000-07:00

On The Beach

A captain's nightmare is being in a dangerous situation that's difficult, if not impossible to get out of, especially when the safety of your passengers is at risk. Here's an example of just that. .. a captain experiencing just that and living to tell about it.

Hurricane Irene hits land and the captain of this 30' craft is out in it. I'd like to think he was seeking safe harbor from the hurricane.....that he, his wife and their cat had been sailing miles and miles off the US shores and had no choice but to make a run for it to beat the hurricane. It's not likely that the captain was out for a pleasure cruise in such foul weather.

The first photo is of the rescue with the aid of a bystander.

And this, the video of the boat being beached.

It's a fairly new and expensive boat which was probably insured for loss. The good news is that the captain and his crew weathered the experience.

Here she sits.

I'd like to sit with the captain of this boat and ask him some questions. The first being, Next time, if there was a next time, what would you do differently?

2011-08-29T14:13:00.000-07:00

I Got Yew Babe!

Look back on your life and think about that fork in the road that you took. You know the one. It's the fork that changed your life forever and ever. Had you changed up and not taken that fork but the other, what would life have been for you?

Seeing a photo taken last week of Chaz (formerly Chastity) Bono made me think of that fork in the road of life.

Well, I'm just sayin' and not judging. Not.

But it makes me wonder about that fork in the road.

Chaz went from there (the video above) to here. It must have been one hell of a fork. And that's all I gotta say.

To each their own. . . . . .

2011-08-29T07:45:00.000-07:00

Could Have Been Prevented

This Tanzer 26 would have gotten through Hurricane Irene in one piece but it looked like the pennant parted at the deck. More than one pennant line of greater length (longer is better) with chafing gear probably would of saved this boat. A lesson learned the hard way.

2011-08-28T13:25:00.000-07:00

Luv Luv Instant Netflix!

What is it, two years? Three years? Whatever the case we've had instant Netflix for quite some time. If you don't know about "that", Netflix streams movies to a computer which streams them to a device connected to a television. Convenient.

Last night a close to five star (like 4 1/2 stars) film made in 2005 caught our attention. Turned out to be quite the movie. Wonder why it never got our attention before now. Even though the film doesn't have any trace of cowboys, murders, military gunfights, nudity, cops and robbers, or vampires I'd still say that it's well worth watching.

Check it out:

2011-08-26T08:09:00.000-07:00

Nice Rack!

Usually when someone says, NICE RACK!, they're referring to a part of the female anatomy. In this case, NICE RACK!!! is about something you can grill with.

For years chicken was always less than what I had hoped for when it came off of the grill.   Isn't that a problem for just about everyone? Burned. Raw. Never right. Then I found this little beauty: The Norpro Nonstick Adjustable Roast Rack on Amazon. Food that's grilled doesn't stick!

Cradle the chicken or chicken parts (I usually grill splits or breasts) on the rack.  Heat the grill to at least 400 degrees. Place the rack on the middle of the grill. Turn off the burner under the chicken (our Weber has three: Front, back, middle). Maintain a grill temperature of 400. A whole chicken needs to grill for an hour. Splits take 45 minutes.

Monday I used the rack to grill a 10 pound turkey:  Just under two hours start to finish (and using an electronic thermometer to monitor temps throughout grilling). About as moist a bird as you'll ever get.

Here's the thermometer that's used. The prob goes in the turkey and connects to a remote. The remote transmits the temperature of the meat to a second device in the house. Bed, Bath and Beyond stocks the Redi-Chek remote cooking thermometer for about 40 bucks. Well worth the expense when it comes to well cooked, not over or under done meat. There's no guessing when using this little device.

The key to success using this thing is making certain it is inserted in the right spot. Anywhere but that will yield a rare piece of meat. You've been warned.

And that's Bob's grilling tip of the day.

2011-08-25T09:48:00.000-07:00

Kiri O'Leary

Kiri's a year and a half old and already she's been certified both as a pet therapy dog ( visiting assisted care facilities and hospitals) and in the Read Program.

As a Read Program dog Kiri likes to get the attention of the young readers she's working with. Standing at attention helps to reel them in. Smiling doesn't hurt, either. Kiri smiles all the time.

Now down to the business of reading. Here Kiri's reading a cookbook that once belonged to Wifey's grandmother. No doubt she's thinking of what she would like for dinner.

Reading all of those old school recipes tuckered out little Kiri. That's hard work!

The Read Program will be using one of these photos to put on a bookmark one of which will be given to each of the children Kiri reads with. Which one is your favorite?

2011-08-24T06:43:00.000-07:00

Christopher Robin

Last week I shared the words of Christoper Robin with Gracie: They're about perpetuating self esteem and confidence. Words that have helped me through the toughest of times both personally and professionally.

Ya gotta think like a winner to be one.

2011-08-23T06:02:00.000-07:00

National Go Topless Day!

I missed another National Topless Day protest. Damn. I do it every time. It was Sunday. Where was I? Crap. Better put this one on the calendar for next year.

Only the best protests have people speaking aided by a microphone.

And only the best protests have people carrying signs...just as long as the signs are held up and not covering any part of the person carrying it.

There were all types of boobs at the protest: Ski jump boobs. Raisin on the string boobs. Here's looking at ya boobs. Looking at the feet boobs. Looking sideways boobs. Melon boobs (watermelon, cantalope, casaba). Mounds Bar boobs. Bump in the road boobs. Torpedo boobs. Holy Molie! boobs. How much is enough? boobs.

A good protest has to have at least one set of twins. These two are about as close to identical as you can get. Ya think?

This person just had to wear nipple covers. Check it out. Interesting way to cover up. Why bother? Do nipple covers make going topless legal? Maybe this gal is in the Navy and nipple covers are the only way to get back on her ship.

Here's a photo of one with and one without nipple covers.

Okay, they're just a bunch of boobs. I get it. Boobs. No big deal.

Not.

2011-08-22T13:52:00.000-07:00

The Spider and the Fly

Released in 1965 by the Rolling Stones on their Out of Our Heads album (and they really were) and the B-side to (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction. An oldie/but goodie that's rarely heard.

The Spider and the Fly

Sittin' thinkin' sinkin' drinkin'
Wondering what I'd do when I'm through tonight

Smoking moping, maybe just hopin'
Some little girl will pass on by

Don't wanna be alone but I love my girl at home
I remember what she said

She said, "My, my, my don't tell lies, keep fidelity in your head
My, my, my, don't tell lies. When you're done you show go to be.

Don't say hi, like a spider to a fly
Jump right ahead and you're dead"
Sit up, fed up, low down go round
Down to the bar at the place I'm at

Sitting, drinking, superficially thinking
About the rinsed-out blonde on my left

Then I said, "hi" like a spider to a fly
Remembering what my little girl said
She was common, flirty, she looked about thirty
I would have run away but I was on my own

She told me later she's a machine operator
She said she liked the way I held the microphone

And I said my, my, my like the spider to the fly
Jump right ahead in my web

2011-08-22T12:26:00.000-07:00

Boobs Gone Wild

I found this photo this morning on the Fox News webpage. It's Aubrey O’Day with one boob gone wild. How does that happen? Men have testicles that go wild (one up, one down. . . ya gotta be a guy to understand. . . in the fashion world it's called "dressing" on one side or the other - - -men are asked by their tailor, "What side do you dress on?").

I guess boobs can dress on one side or the other. In this case Aubrey better call her plastic surgeon for a consulation. She's got one boob gone wild!

2011-08-20T06:52:00.000-07:00

Tripping Out

With school starting and everyone back at work it's time to start thinking of a little traveling. In anticipation of doing some trailer traveling repairs were made last week to the trailer and new tires installed. You could say we're good to go.

We're both looking forward to getting away. There's a beachside RV park in Oregon we'll camp at and a week or two will be spent at a small lake which is just down the hill from Crater Lake. There won't be many people camping or on the road. That's my cup of tea.

There were thoughts of traveling into Canada but it gets expensive when it comes to filling the truck's tank with diesel. Think about it: A tank of diesel runs $150. While pulling a 12,000 pound trailer the truck gets +/- 200 miles a fill-up. If we go 600 miles north and back that amounts to $900. Staying closer to home is a good thing.

Ya think?

2011-08-19T07:00:00.000-07:00

School Days-School Days

The first day of school was Tuesday, August 16th. Whatever happened to school starting the day after Labor Day? Geeze. It's hot. It's summer. Kids should be out having fun not reading, writing and arthmetic.

Here's Grace with two of her partners in fourth grade crime. Gracie's the shrimp in her class. Definitely small compared to her peers as well she should be: She's the youngest kid in this grade. Most are are year older. Give her time. Grace inherited Wifey's long legs and no doubt her height, too. She'll be at least 5'9", all in due time.

What Grace lacks in height she makes up in brains and personality. If you met her you'd know what I mean.

Size doesn't always matter.

2011-08-18T15:00:00.000-07:00

On Your Marks?

I snapped this today at the marina across the lake from where Sparkle Plenty is moored. Most of the sailboats on the lake moor here as the access to where the wind blows is just outside of it. Kind of looks like they're lined up for a race. Maybe backwards?

I visit this marina now and then to check out other boats like mine. There's always a difference in how each boat is rigged and in the hardware used to secure the rigging or in how the sails are managed. I picked up a couple of ideas this morning.

What's not right about this marina as compared to where SP is lies in the slips: Two boats to a slip. SP and the others on our marina do not share one.

In foul weather if the other boat sharing the slip breaks loose, there's a strong chance your will be damaged. Second, in a single boat slip it can be tied so that neither side rubs or knocks against the dock. Can't do that in a double berth. One side is always going to rub.

And that's what I saw today. The side of a boat identical to SP had been scarred from hitting the dock. Even with cushioning material to protect it, the boat still came up with gouges and scratches.

Now you know why I don't join the rest of the sailors on that side of the lake.

There's another reason. At our marina there's a store just up the ramp. Ice. Drinks. Ice cream. Candy. Chips. Crackers. Clothing. Etc. SP's marina is more secure, too. Security is ever present compared to hit and miss across the lake.

It's been 100 nearly every day this month and much too hot to sail morning, noon or night. Definitely looking forward to cooler weather and strong breezes. Plan is to sail until the end of November and then pull SP out of the lake for winter repairs, upgrades and wax.

It's a good thing.

2011-08-17T16:03:00.000-07:00

Lady of the Lake

Ye gads. Ten days since the last post. WTF happened to me? I guess that's why this place is called, What About Bob? What about him. .. ahhh, absent again.

This struck my eye a week or more ago. Unusual. Art. Love it.

So, meet the not-so-Little Mermaid that has been having a right old knees-up in the German city of Hamburg. Oliver Voss's floating sculpture is designed to look like a woman bathing in the picturesque Alster Lake.

The three-piece work of art, which is 13ft high and 98ft long, was turning heads forten days - with many visitors boarding rowing boats to get a closer look.

Voss, head of the advertising academy Miami Ad School, said he wanted the aquatic sculpture, called The Bather, to be 'a topic of conversation in Germany. But his creation has also caused controversy, with district mayor Markus Schreiber telling de Bild newspaper that it was 'sullying the beloved lake'.
The enormous sculpture, made from steel and styrofoam, does not resemble a traditional mermaid.

Instead of a woman with a fishtail, Voss's lady of the lake has legs bent at the knee and protruding from the water.

Don't you just love this? Wow.

2011-08-08T06:13:00.000-07:00

One Track Mind

It was close to 100 yesterday and I knew better than to even think about sailing. No wind equals sitting on a boat that's not moving and sweating. But I knew better. Having tracked weather patterns over the past three days I found that around 4 in the afternoon there had always enough wind to power Sparkle Plenty.

At around 4 Wifey and one of her friends met me at the boat and off we went.

Yes indeed, once out on the water there was a breeze that filled the sails. The sail at 4 prediction was right on.

A man on a sailboard cruised alongside the boat several times. We used to own and sail one. Fun. But owning a sailboat and a sailboard just didn't work out. It was tough to make time to use one or the other. The sailboat won out and the board was sold.

We sailed until about 7 then called it a day.

Just another Sunday sailing for a guy with a one track mind.

2011-08-07T11:07:00.000-07:00

WHAT ABOUT BOB: FOUNDED 2006

This is post number 1,640. That's a bunch. It all started August 6th, 2006. The rest, as they say, has been all bullshit (or history, take your pick).

To commemorate this wonderful day in American history I've found a dog who will sing the praises of this blog and its founder, Bob. That's me.

Here goes: