Jesus said, "Go sailing!"

I'm not a particularly religious man . . . probably more on the spiritual side than anything else. But once in a while the Lord talks to me. He does. I've heard him. It goes like this:

Bob, don't do this.

Bob, you'd better not do that.

Good, Bob . . . that's nice for a change.

So when the Lord came to me and said, "Go sailing!" that's exactly what Bob did. Heave ho! And away we go!

When I get messages like that I get very religious. I even bought the hat that you see here on my office desk. When anyone asks where I'm going it will be a simple answer - I'll point to the hat and say, "Don't bother me. The Lord said I have to go sailing and I've got to get on the lake ASAP or there's gonna be hell to pay!"

So I had this conversation with Wifey.

Me: Wifey, the Lord said that I have to go sailing. I heard him. He said that. It even says that on my hat. See?

Wifey: Having another 60's flashback, Bob?